| simple.blue | ||||||||||||
|
Its Me! Desmond Of VJC 04S26! FirSt Time Keeping A Blog.... Hope It doeSn't Suck!!! Name: Age: Country: School: Occupation: Brandon Kelvin Lynn Edgar Dor Ma'am Max jAnic3 NiCk ChOw NiCk Ng ChRisTin3 ShIQi MeiYinG JoAnn3 TaMmY bErdinE DaF DaRyL Geok ToNg AnGeL3 Blogger Blogskins DynamicDrive 
| The Battle Is The Lord’s 2 Chronicles 20:15 15… Do not be afraid nor dismayed because of this great multitude, for the battle is not yours, but God’s. When faced with a problem or challenge, we tend to ask ourselves, “What am I going to do?” And well-meaning family members and friends will come along and ask, “What are you going to do?” Jehoshaphat faced a multitude of enemies. But instead of focusing on what he would do, he prayed, “O our God, will You not judge them? For we have no power against this great multitude that is coming against us; nor do we know what to do, but our eyes are upon You.” (2 Chronicles 20:12) When we turn our eyes to God, we will hear Him say, “Do not be afraid nor dismayed because of this great multitude, for the battle is not yours, but God’s... You will not need to fight in this battle. Position yourselves, stand still and see the salvation of the Lord…” (2 Chronicles 20:15, 17) But standing still is the last thing we want to do when the enemy is coming against us. It is also the most difficult thing to do because we feel that we cannot just stand around and do nothing — we must try to save the situation. But God wants us to stand still and see Jesus our salvation fight for us. So what do you do the next time you are faced with a battle and don’t know what to do? Jehoshaphat sent his singers to the front of the army to proclaim, “Praise the Lord, for His mercy endures forever.” (2 Chronicles 20:21) Some people will wonder, “Does that mean that I just sing and don’t do anything else when I have a problem?” No, that is not what I am saying. Do what the situation requires, but don’t worry and don’t trust in what you do. Like Jehoshaphat, rest and trust in His mercy that endures forever. When you do that, God will turn your battlefield into the Valley of Berachah. Berachah means “blessings”. The children of Israel gave the battlefield this name because it took them three days to gather all the spoils of war! God turned their situation into a great blessing! (2 Chronicles 20:25–26) Do you have a battle to fight? Stand still and see the salvation of the Lord Just something that I need reminder of constantly . I thought i heal fast, I thought this time round would be different, I thought that mayb, just mayb, something was different, I thought you'd had stop being mad, I thought I'd never enter depression agn, I thought that you found me special, I thought that everything was possible, I thought i could escape from this hell by sleeping........ I thought wrong..... . hungry...alone...with the room leaking... FUCK!!!! . The clock just struck 12 2 hrs and 47 minutes ago, and I'm here updating my blog finally, in the new year. So many things that I wish to say, but firstly, Happy New Year to all. 2010 is finally here and I'm sure it'll be a blast. Bon voyage to chubbo who just flew off for her exchange! Have a great time over there and 6 Shot will definately expect more than postcards! hahah. Much has transpired since my last posting. Exams have been over for more than a month now. Got my results a few days back. Honestly, I feel like giving up. Its times like this when I feel that even though I've given my best, my best is still not sufficient. I've always been a fighter, but I'm tired, seriously tired. I'm tired of not meeting expectations, I'm tired of putting in the hours but not achieving the results and I'm tired of being such a disappointment to the people around me. Compensation and Benefits was a major shocker. It was a module that I had absolute confidence in but it turns out I only had a meagre B. My entire group got screwed too. Hope the meet up with Quazi will help. Went back to SPRING earlier today as well. I hope I left an impression which will bode well for my relationship with the management there. Actually, I wasnt consciously trying to be outstanding. Having fun while doing stuff really puts less of a strain on the actual activity itself. I had a fun time there mambo-ing and just letting loose. Its been awhile. Thanks Vanessa, Justin and the rest for being such sports! =) Filming has stopped temporarily and shall resume in about 6 days time. Final challenge before the first elimination. I have mixed feelings about this. To stay on or not to? Decisions decisions. Has my exposure been enough to help me embark on my modelling career? Or an early exit might be bad publicity? anyhoo, do catch me doing extremely funny and fun stuff on Channel U, U Are The Man, airing on 12th jan 2010, at 8pm and 12am! I've surfed, endured extreme temperatures, danced alone in the public, caught geckos, dug though mealworms, dressed a random stranger, etc, pics on my fb, too lazy to dl and then upload! =p. It will be a good show! =)got to know alot of new friends through the show as well! you guys are awesome, every single one of you! =)... its not a voting show so I'm not gg to pull votes here! hahah... and my photoshoot will be coming out on 8days and I weekly on the 4th of jan! woohoo! cant wait to see the pics! The sample pic sent was awesome! Thanks for being such a great art director ryan! =)... another photoshoot done was for Nu You(i think) valentine's day issue. That will be coming out in Feb. My co-model, Kit was extremely professional! She's so young somemore but looked awesome in the shots. Great work gal! Hopefully things are getting sorted out in your life right now! =) Its a wonder how sometimes you can be brought to the highest of high and then at the next moment, on your knees, in self doubt. I honestly don't know what to do. Am I going to repeat my mistakes, if they were even mistakes at all in the first place. That's just who I am. Why must I become a bastard? I cant bring myself to. I've tired and I think someone got hurt in the process and that felt like shit. I cant live with myself like that. Am i destined to always make the wrong choices? Its perplexing. It feels like crap. Maybe living in a dillusion would be better. Maybe lying to myself will be better. maybe, just maybe. They say that the power of a relationship lies in the person who cares less, but I say that power isn't happiness, and I think that maybe happiness comes from caring more about people rather than less. So much for a happy new year huh? Oh well, till the next time i update. Studying on new year's day can you believe it... . stuck in seminar room now with someone hideous beside moi... tonnes of work to do but absolutely no motivation...damn...ok..short random post again..tonnes of stuff to write tho... but shall not develop verbal diarrhoea now...ok... back to books =(=( . Its once again Oct, 6 months to the exams and the heaps upon heaps of projects and assignments coming due. Its amazing how some seniors shared when I was still a naive freshmen that uni was going to be easy. That's really a load of bull. Unless its just me, however judging from the dark circles around my group mates eyes, I highly doubt that possibility. Some interesting stuff that happened since the last time I updated. Officially a part of the Upfront team. Anybody needs models pls keep me in mind and go through my manager! My agency's website is www.upfrontmodels.com. Yep. Really need assignments now that i'd be surviving the rest of the month with less than 100 bucks as my net worth. Damn Had a networking party a couple of weeks back and it was awesome besides the fact that I had to mingle and stand for 6 hours straight. I really need to grow a thicker skin if i want to survive in this industry. I guess I'd get adapted to it eventually. And through that networking session, I got to know Glen from Mediacorp who gave me a chance to appear on an upcoming reality show. I went down for the audition/interview last week and I think I might have screwed it up since it was in chi. =(. Oh well..the Lord will decide that for me and I shall not worry Vocal lessons with Daniel Singh have been great! Though it is seriously draining on my finances, nonetheless my range has increase and with time, I believe going to Taiwan for development won't be such a far reality anymore. The techniques are becoming clearer now. I just need to improve faster dammit. The hole in my pocket is getting bigger. As for my upcoming day, my wishlist are as follows. Sony erricson W995, my current hp lasted longer than most, but is in quite a sad condition right now. Like master like hp LOTS & LOTS of sleep Celebrate with a few close friends and family Not to get too wasted/sabo-ed in hall (karma is finally catching up to me) Some new earphones Some assignments that I actually make it through the casting Good grades Well random posting. Bye all . when the door shut and there was only fighting and hissing sounds behind, I was left standing there to make a decision. This was what I said: "If i really love your daughter, I'm willing to accept however crazy you are. and I do...." I awoke with a start. to hear my roomie sniggering in the bed beside me. Did i vocalise my answer out? Or was he having dreams of his own? No matter, now I know the choice I would make consciously or not. Thank You for showing me the way. I shall not want. Thank You...I leave it into Your hands . This time all I want is you There is no one else Who can take your place This time you burned me with your eyes You see past all the lies You take it all away I've seen it all And it's never enough It keeps leaving me needing you Take me away Take me away I've got nothing left to say Just take me away I try to make my way to you But still I feel so lost I don't know what else I can do I've seen it all And it's never enough It keeps leaving me needing you Take me away Take me away I've got nothing left to say Just take me away Don't give up on me yet Don't forget who I am I know I'm not there yet But don't let me stay here alone This time all I want is you There is no one else Who can take your place I've seen enough And it's never enough It keeps me leaving me needing you Take me away Take me away I've got nothing left to say Just take me away Take me away Take me away I've got nothing left to say Just take me away How apt... the silence...the distance...the feeling... =( . Well, as self explainatory as the title puts, I cant get to bed. Not that I tried sleeping early anyway. My roomie's snugly in dreamland right now and as envious I am of his sleeping habits,the music playing softly from my laptop's not nearly soothing enough to lure me into the recesses of dreamland. And wow, the last post that I posted was on May 16. That brings it to a total of 3 mths and 10 days since the last update! Of course many things have passed since then. Lets see. First of all, NBS FOC!! Lycan's were an awesome bunch of ppl! Had a great time being your SA! And sticking to the tradition of this much unread(presumably) blog of mine, I shall give in to my whims of laziness and not upload any photos. FOC was shag as usual with little sleep giving rise to frayed tempers. I'm glad issues were trashed out and resolved, resulting in unbroken friendships. Speaking of which, I somehow feel a little detached from 6 Shots. I think I've shared this fact with a few people that I know. Different timetable, different lifestyle, different group of friends. Oh well, as much as it makes my heart sink in addition to the fact that I would not be convocating with most of them, I guess that's just part and parcel of life. Afterall, 天下没有不散之筵席. I'm not saying that we are no longer close friends, but just not as close as before. Shortly after FOC, was my photoshoot. I must say that it was a real interesting experience, where my belly and my inability to smile in front of a camera was made apparent. However, with some coaxing and 'motivation', there were some fantastic shots taken as far as I can remember. Now comes the wait for the com cards to be made and then I can finally accept assignments and earn some much needed extra $. On that note, I think my expenditure has sky rocketed over the course of the holidays. Clubbing la... the necessary evils of uni life =p 2 days after photoshoot was then Hall Camp. Being the SA for Hall Camp wasnt as slack as that of NBS FOC. Being station master for most of the games meant that I couldnt interact with freshies from the group that I was attached to. Up till now, I can only recognize their faces but not place a name to them. Cui... however, the bunch of ppl were quite fun to be with la admittedly. On a side note, I did tekan gaowei quite badly during camp and I dont feel a shred of remorse for it!!! HAHAHAH Then the semester started and work and stuff started to pile in. Oh boy... even greater expectations now rest upon my shoulders. Deadlines, new team members both foreign and local, new tutors and 4 FREAKING DAYS of 830 lessons, doesnt make the semester seem appealing. However, somehow, there's just this sense of calm. Just like the sun rising outside right now, amidst the grey clouds and drizzle. Did i ever say that I simply love grey sky mornings? Somehow, my very soul gets refreshed just looking at the weather. Maybe its because the grey skies pretty much represent my emotional state over the past years. Or maybe at every turning point of my life, grey sky mornings would be there to greet me. Hunger pangs are greeting me which reminds me that I have a diet to keep. No pain no gain eh? Other randomness HP is almost broken, like some other vital organs of my body. Room in hall is leaky My room has this cool new arrangement which i think is just awesome. I'm still nocturnal. Got an ipod touch for 200 bucks from kel! =) thanks bro. My 'motivation' is... I think I carry myself better when I'm experience a lack of sleep. 玩火自焚 :( Tata all..don't bother to visit regularly. . I wish you well.. parfois au revoir quoique ça me fait vraiment mal sur ton coeur est la seulle façon à pour destinée parfois au revoir quoique ça me fait vraiment mal est la seulle façon à pour toi et moi quoique sa a plus difficile chose te souhaiter une Je serai manques votre amour à tous les égards Alors dire au revoir l'amour, le vrai ne va jamais mourir pleurer à cause . I watched helpless as you turned around to leave One of my emo moods agn..and I shall indulge it.. . I finally know what it means to be disgusted with myself... I guess after all this time... i'm just not ready/capable/mature/responsible enough... I HATE MYSELF... . Well.. self explainatory title... i've resigned myself to watching the rain fall under the orange glow of the street lamps. Strangely calming effect that has on me... I guess i'd be sleeping on the flight then... Can't wait..! =) . A VERY BIG CONGRATULATIONS TO THE UNION OF MISS TAN QIAN TING AND MY ROOMIE MR YOU CHENGKUN Hahahah... hey love birds... cherish each other ok? I'm super happy and excited for the two of you.. its always nice to know when your good pals get hitched...=)... soo... ya as i said cherish each other as it takes a whole lot for mutual attraction to take place so this is precious...i dun want to end up comforting anyone at the end of the day r... Hahah... BKK TML!!!! WHEEEE!!!! I can't wait... but i haven started packing yet... tsk tsk...nap time! =) . The heavens opened its floodgates once again and the nights peaceful silence is interrupted by the distant rumbling of thunder. Should be pouring at your side too. Hope you well snuggled in your bed right now and deep in dreamland. I hope the headache has left you and that your leaky nose does not act up. I hope that tomorrow would be a great time out with you and the gang. I hope that I can be there for you whenever you should need me... Just like for farmers of past... the rain brings hope for me... and my hope is that i can be your happiness, and for you to be well always. And the rain suddenly stops... Finally the silence looking out Looking back across the sky Trying to find a meaning Knowing that I just left it all behind Still I smell a lingering softness Where did she go How did she go I wanna I wanna know I wanna know that she'll be coming here to me Come on Without you I'll never feel the love inside of me Come on You know that we belong Come on Come on Come on Come on Thinking back before her I never knew the meaning of alone Still the flag is feeling foreign I live the day to escape into a phone Speaking of a world not real then Where did she go How did she go I wanna I wanna know I wanna know that she'll be coming here to me Come on Without you I'll never feel the love inside of me Come On You know that we belong Come on Come on Come on Come on 'Cause each of her kisses that my heart misses She's coming She's coming here to me I'm needing Desiring To kiss her now I'm living for her Breathing for her Singing for her fairytale Come on Without you I'll never feel the love inside of me Come On You know that we belong Come on Come on Come on Come on Come on Without you I'll never feel the love inside of me Come on Come on Come on Come on Come on Goodnight and sleep sweet... I pray that your headache stops and that you can get some peaceful sleep! hugs... . Shall start my swimming, jogging and reading routine tml... hope i have the energy to. Hahah... Anyway.. why does the heart hurt when you are sad? The heart is used to identify emotions as opposed to the brain which is used to identify logic. (thinking too hard makes your brain hurt) The heart does however control the flow of blood through your body. And the blood is what causes your body to be pale, or make it feel like you don't have very much energy when you are stressed or sad. If you are talking about the actual chest pain you may have, your heart isn't getting enough oxygen from your blood. the oxygen is being quickly distributed through your body to find the "where it hurts" spot that your brain is saying exists. Try crying, or taking deep steady breaths to re-regulate oxygen flow. Something i got off from the net.. interesting.. but anyway..i'm glad its just a show that you're sad about..not other stuff..ok... i better get some shut eye if i hope to wake up tml. Cya all! =) . 是你在那个雨季 走进我生命 带着一点任性 和温柔的表情 是你在那个雨季 赶走了孤寂 温暖的笑容 换我仅有的甜蜜 天上一万颗星星我却只看见你 你说这是幸运 还是不可思议 身边有太多风景 我却停在这里 说我傻的可以 还不是因为你 是你的声音 带给我勇气 恋爱的频率 直到我心底 如果你愿意 是的我愿意 带着我幸福的主旋律 从前的实际 现在我相信 天空会放晴 爱会更甜蜜 如果你愿意 是的我愿意 爱的主旋律 永远唱下去 是你在那个雨季 赶走了孤寂 温暖的笑容 换我仅有的甜蜜 天上一万颗星星我却只看见你 你说这是幸运 还是不可思议 身边有太多风景 我却停在这里 说我傻的可以 还不是因为你 是你的声音 带给我勇气 恋爱的频率 直到我心底 如果你愿意 是的我愿意 带着我幸福的主旋律 从前的实际 现在我相信 天空会放晴 爱会更甜蜜 如果你愿意 是的我愿意 爱的主旋律 永远唱下去 La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La La 如果你愿意 是的我愿意 带着我幸福的主旋律 从前的实际 现在我相信 天空会放晴 爱会更甜蜜 如果你愿意 是的我愿意 爱的主旋律 永远唱下去 天上一万颗星星我却只看见你 你说这是幸运 还是不可思议 身边有太多风景 我却停在这里 说我傻的可以 还不是因为你 the heavens just open its flood gates... looking forward to a grey sky morning . 我不会向别的快乐出发。。。 因为你就是我的快乐。。。 我不配... in so many things... Lord help me... . Its really the little things that bring the most joy. Hola was the key word of the day and telepathy, the instrument. Jia you in your revisions alrite? It'll be over soon. Lets do this together! :D . It always pours on Good Friday around 3pm. Thank You for everything Lord. Thank You for You are now my righteousness, my salvation, my reward. Though sometimes when the going gets tough and I rely on my own strengh and wisdom to take me through, I know that sometimes You carry me through the storm. I know You always hear my prayers and I'm blessed. Thank You, thank You for my results, for my friends, for my health, for my family. Thank You for letting me be empathetic to others, to be feeling, to love as You have loved me. Thank You. I'm so damn proud... :D... congrats! =) And oh... you dont owe me anything seriously... go and spend the prize money on shopping! =).. whatever was spent was done willingly and without expectation of repayment... so don't need la... a nice meal will suffice! =p Ok... back to mugging! . You reap what you sow. The saying has never rang more true for me till now. Ah well, no point crying over spilt milk. I'm genuinely happy for your grades =)... but remember to thank your shi fu ok? Yao ying sui si yuan! =).. I still trust wad u told me awhile back... yep... I really need to buck up... DAMMITTTT!!!!! Spent the past few days at the airport completing the Marketing Report. It finally reached its completeness when i got home yesterday morning. Day break was really beautiful so i took a photo of it. This was about 8am in the morning
The main purpose of his visit back to Singapore was to see his Guardian who's a teacher at RI. Apparently the teacher's down with stage 4 colon cancer. Yet another unstoppable force of change highlighting the fragility of life. Change is really pervasive. However, there are somethings that just won't change. Procrastination's one for me. Smoking has to go but i don't foresee that happening during this exam period. Lastly, there's another thing for me that won't change in the near future and I will keep holding on. Though that is something that might seem foolish, but I'd gladly be the fool. If it seems crazy then I'd rather be a lunatic. If it seems that I'm blinded, I'd gladly be led by the hand, by you....... Ok.. so much for pensiveness. The dawn is once again breaking and I cant change the fact that a new day is beginning, and that there will be challenges that I'd have to face in the days, months and years ahead. But I shall embrace them, embrace change and change for the better, for a better future that hopefully, has you in it. Good morning... . Marketing... I'm sure the report is driving many people insane... I'm one of them.. rawr... the information provided is just so general. There's structural issues and content issues... heck.. are we even on the right track. But I think once u've focused on one way of doing, stick to it.. be sure of yourself, be confident. A focused mind and train of thought definately beats one that is confused and multi-directional... ok shit.. i got to stop rambling I hope the pain eases off tml.. it hurts when u hurt, physically or emotionally. I wished that there was something I could do to soothe those teeth of yours. One Thing that we should learn from kids If they don't know that its wrong, they'll have a go at it. It not saying that being wrong is the same as being creative. However, if you're not prepared to be wrong, you'll never come out with anything original. For all those that's struggling with the marketing report, mayb taking that point of view would help. Thanks for the site NF.. If you want some take on creativity, watch this vid! http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/ken_robinson_says_schools_kill_creativity.html . Many would think that a smoker's favorite times of the week would be when he takes his first puff of the day... Well, not so for me. My favourite time of the week would be that 1 hour train ride back to the east. Not because I can head back home. Not because I am heading out of school. But its because for that one hour in a week, i can talk uninterupted, uninhibited,with no one else around us, on the train home. That gives me the most refreshment to last me through the coming week then I look forward to that time again. Have a good swim, and then rest well k? No point trudging through on a tired physique and brain. Have a great home cooked lunch too! Ur favourite time of the week right? haha... Better eat my noodles before they turn soggy... den its off to sleep.. something which I desperately need. So when is your favourite time of the week? =) Well, anyway on a cheerier note... just watched Confessions of a Shopaholic... it was not bad.. got a lot of funny parts especially the dancing scene. There were a few scenes that left me quite misty-eyed.. overall a 7/10. The male lead looked a lot like hugh jackman (woooorine in lyn's terms =p). Its been a long day, I better turn in... a long weekend of mugging awaits. I really must stop being paranoid and think so much. Choppy incoherent sentences. How nice. Even my forte's down the gutter. Jia you ppl! 3.5 weeks to liberation! =) I don't know if you'll ever find my blog. But if you do, I'm sorry... I can't like you in that way.. its not tt you're not likeable.. but its because my heart is alrd with someone else and she will keep it(willingly/not) for a long time to come.. I'm really sorry and I don't want to leave any ambiguity at all cause I know that sucks. Save your love for someone else more deserving. I'm sorry. . i Want to be free to love i wAnt to be free to try free to make my owN mistakes on a journey That i can call my own there must be more to lIfe theN just beinG someone else Oh I wished you only know How I truly feel inside Like a lighthouse in the dark A stillness in the raging storm Even if we're miles apart I will always find my way back to your heart (I'll be there) To hold and guide you through the rain There is nothing else I want more than to be lost in your eyes If this were the end of time (if this were the end of time) I want to be here by your side To feel your warm embrace And to be wrapped up in your light Through the joy and the pain (through it all) I'll be your shelter all the way Oh this world may fade away But this love we have, Will remain Nice song by timo...my hopeful reality for 2 3 15 19 4 5 Ok I MUST NOT BE EMO ANYMORE!!!! . They say talking about things makes people feel better.. In fact i often encourage my friends to talk about their problems when they are feeling down. Chances are they would feel better after that. Why not me? I've realised a pattern. The more stressed i get, its easier to fall into the emotional spiral... Screw stats . Called you for the first time yesterday Finally found the missing part of me Felt so close but you were far away Left me without anything to say Now I’m speechless Over the edge I’m just breathless I never thought that I’d catch this Lovebug again Hopeless Head over heels in the moment I never thought that I’d get hit By this lovebug again I can’t get your smile out of my mind (I can’t get you out of my mind) I think about your eyes all the time You’re beautiful but you don’t even try (You don’t even, don’t even try) Modesty is just so hard to find Now I’m speechless Over the edge I’m just breathless I never thought that I’d catch this Lovebug again Hopeless Head over heels in the moment I never thought that I’d get hit By this lovebug again Kissed her for the first time yesterday Everything I wished that it would be Suddenly I forgot how to speak Hopeless, breathless, baby, can't you see Now I’m… Yeah! Now I’m speechless Over the edge I’m just breathless I never thought that I’d catch this Lovebug again Now I'm hopeless Head over heels in the moment I never thought that I’d get hit By this lovebug again Ohh... lovebug again =) . I say its simple because I've been doing it for 25, 30 years.. but for you, that are new, it is quite hard... But that's life right? Compared to the construction industry outside which is hard, this is simpler. ROFL... I just found myself a new sitcom to follow and its benificial to my studies. :D . I guess I hate ambiguity... It drives me insane... but thank you.. thank you for making yourself clear and forgiving me for being an ass... I feel much better now :D Don't lie and say that it's OK. It's alright if, there's nothing more to say. So I'm running away. I'm leaving this place. Yeah, I'm running away. I'm running away. Don't tell me, I'm the one to blame. It's too late for you to make me stay. No, I won't stay. So I'm running away. I'm leaving this place. Yeah, I'm running away. I'm running away. And faster than you can follow me from this lonely place. And farther than you can find me, I'm leaving Yeah I'm leaving today. And I, I'll never let you find me. I'm leaving you behind with the past No, I won't look back. And I don't want to hear your reasons. Don't want to hear you tell me why I should stay. And try, and try to understand me And try to understand what I say when I say I can't stay I, I'm moving on from this place I'm leaving and I won't wait I'm running away. I'm running away. I'm leaving this place. Yeah, I'm running away. I'm running away. Another damn emo song.... nice... Thank you cheryl... thank you sarah... and thank you tze... I'm confused now... really am... mayb over analysis of the situation? But i'm loads better now.. thanks gals.. really appreciate it. . Was preping my marketing presentation when this song poped into my mind. Think i got the lyrics right So no one told you life was gonna be this way Your job's a joke, you're broke, you love life's D.O.A, It's like you're always stuck in second gear, when it hasn't been your day your week your month, or even your year, But, ill be there for you, (when the rain starts to fall) ill be there for you, (like ive been there before) ill be there for you, Cos you're there for me too. Well, I just want to say, with exams looming and all, or rather, without exams coming and on any ordinary day, I'm thankful for the friends I have around me. And I cant say that I know everybody's problems and solutions, all i can say is that should you really need a listening ear or just somebody to rant to, I'll be there for you, cuz you're there for me too! =) Back to marketing! . I swear I'd become better than ... ... .... ...... I will... . My left eye cant stop twitching and its damn irritating... as irritating as ACC ll RAWR!!!! . Another fri the 13th... hahah... oh well... had good HTHT sessions last night... well.. mayb I'm a good reader of personalities... and maybe i am attention seeking... well... just maybe... hmm... interview tml... with a sucky hairstyle and lack of sleep... damn... hope things go well then there'll be an addtional source of income! whee! Ok... this weekend is mugging time! seriously... have to... 20% quiz on mon=(... Lord help me... . Wah... jsut got the vid of stella from Naifen... piang.. I'm damn pitchy and weak at alot of parts of the song la... I'm cringing when i listen to it... argh... shit... tink i really need vocal training... anyone want to go? Its nice to know tt there are ppl out there that care... even if they don't know you personally.. Thank God for you ppl... thank God for Cheryl, Pots, Nai Fen, Sarah, Shi Song, Chris, etc, for filling my days with laughter too... seriously Well, at least my mood's stabalized alrd. I shall persevere! . I'm so tired of being here Suppressed by all my childish fears And if you have to leave I wish that you would just leave 'Cause your presence still lingers here And it won't leave me alone These wounds won't seem to heal This pain is just too real There's just too much that time cannot erase When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears I held your hand through all of these years But you still have all of me You used to captivate me By your resonating light Now I'm bound by the life you left behind Your face it haunts My once pleasant dreams Your voice it chased away All the sanity in me These wounds won't seem to heal This pain is just too real There's just too much that time cannot erase- When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears I held your hand through all of these years But you still have all of me I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone But though you're still with me I've been alone all along When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears I held your hand through all of these years But you still have all of me Only convert if you really want to read... I just want to stop hurting..................................I guess you dont really know/care that its killing me...or mayb you do..its your usual reaction to stuff i guess...then again...doubt there's anything you could/would do about it.. then again, who am i to deserve your attention rite? who am i to feel this way.. just an emo kid.... too emo for my own fucking good... wow... stressed plus workload and other stuff can really get ppl going... I'm really contemplating whether to post this... the repercussions... but i guess there'll be none really...status quo's ok i guess...at least ur happy... i'm appearing happy and everybody can live in harmony..just had to let it out.... ahh... much better.............................i tink.... until my next episode... I guess I'm just not as strong as I thought i was... somethings that I just cant quit.... I feel like crap... Complexities and complications of human interactions.. i tink i should be a hermit... probably be happier tt way.. or if i could relive my life on mstd... staring out into the sea..at the beautiful sunset... the relaxing life with absolutely no worries... no complications... no deadlines..no second guessing which i cant confirm with would lead to even more second guessing... I'm in a valley and its real deep.... fuck... . Broke my 118 hours... now its back to 0 agn... oh wells.. had to stay up.. no choice=p Acc and OB awaits as I await the dawn to break. Its so nice when you see your friends getting together.. I'm happy for my roomie! =) . Fucking withdrawal symptoms . QP finally ended yesterday. Its a bittersweet feeling really. I'm going to miss the cast trainings(though they were vocally and mentally tiring), the laughter and just being myself. The production was really a huge success and I basically met my 3 goals that I set out to achieve when i joined as a cast. A few ppl that I'd like to thank: Kasster, Chubbo, YAJAM and Zhao for coming down to support me for my first day. For the beautiful sunflower. Thank you all so much. And also for your understanding during this period where i pang seh so many proj meetings. I'll get up to scratch soon(i hope=p) ODAC!!!!! Thanks for coming down. Really encouraged by the huge turnout =). Hope yall had a great time catching up after the show. Sry couldnt join yall. Daddy, Mummy, Keke and gf, for coming down to watch my first performance. Cheryl and Potato, for taking time off your busy schedules. For the bouquet of blue roses. I really really appreciate you guys coming down. It meant a lot to me.Catch up real soon ok? JCRC, for their support during this period and allowing me time off from duties. For the damn sweet card and the balloon! =) QPeeps Joanne Thanks so much for being the lead with me. It was really great working with you and bitching abt *ahem*.. Haha.. Sry for making you prac End Of Time so much with me. Its really great to have seen u become more open and natural in your acting. Eh! form study grp leh! Lets ace this sem! =) Timothy Hey rat! you'll probably not see this but ya.. thanks for indulging me in my warped sense of humour everytime. For being such a laugh during trainings and for the great songs. KA DAI!!!! Sarah Thanks for lending a ear when I needed it. Thanks for the HTHT also.Really appreciate it. Remain a diva and a skank ok? Haha, jkjk we afterall know who's the "professional" rite? ;). But anyway, if u need anybody to talk to in future you can find me la. The songs you wrote and your performance was stunning too! =) Shi Song Also thanks for indulging in my warped sense of humour and for eventually adapting to it! hahah. It was great to have an OG mate in cast and also for teaching vocal stuff and all! Rachel Eh mother-in-law! You really were great! The growth from the first cast training to now was enormous. Don't worry about ur folks alrite? They just meant well I'm sure=) Tian Cai Honestly, I always thought you were a pompous SOB. But after much reflection, I really must thank you for all the advise given during trainings and all. Thanks for styling my hair during showdays too! =) Chris Thanks for the multiple multiple eggs. Thanks for being the butt of the jokes, hope i din get too carried away and if I did, I sincerely apologise. Hope things between your gf clear up soon! =) Kevin First time i saw you was during Hall Anni dinner I think. Its really great to have another clubber/drinker in cast! At least tts common. Also your gay-ness is really pwr! Haha. Xin Lin Although I din really talk to you much during this journey, its really commedable that you were able to juggle so many things at one time. Havoc, CAC, QP.. really pwr.. Study hard for ur quizzes and ace them alrite? Chye Nit Fen Thanks for having taught me a tremendous load in singing. I really respect your vocal talent. Fuck you for eavesdropping tho=p Hahahahah..... no la... i'm fine with it anyway! Wasnt any sensitive info anyway. Thanks for the great songs too! And your sick and twisted (similar to mine) sense of humour. There's always someone you'll bitch abt and tts good! hahahahah Mavis For being such a wonderful director. I know this period was stressful and taxing on you. Now you can have a SHORT(whoops) well deserved break before plunging headlong into studies. Now that the issue has been resolved, should have more motivation to work alrd rite? =p The rest of the QP people in C&M, S&P, P&P, Producers, SMs and Biz Mags for being such a wonderful support team. All this wouldnt have been possible without your hard work behind the scenes! And now, at 3 am as i end this post, its really a brand new start for me. I step into tml a non smoker. I step into tml a workaholic, I step into tml someone who will not wallow in self pity. I step into tml a friend. This is a brand new path and its gonna be tough, but i decide how I want to live my life this time, I know I can make a mark. So if i seem pms-y these few days, its the lack of nicotine. I'm real sry abt it. But it will pass. Haha. I really will miss smoking tho. Its something as natural as breathing to me. Now studying and keeping late nights will no longer be as fun without the sticks. Feel like I've lost someone dear to me. Hahah.. but I guess its for the best. For my health and for the sake of my future too. Alrite, before this gets too lengthy, I'm gonna bathe and then sleep. Tml a whole day of catching up awaits. shit....hahah... nite world! . Damn tired.... really damn tired... my throat hurts, my eyes are droopy, and basically i feel like shit... help.... . There are a few things I'm quitting... Smoking in 3 days.. cant wait to have more $$ to save/spend.. and a few others... Cold turkey here I come... One sweet day.. there will be.... . I wish you well. . . . When you were here before, Couldn't look you in the eye You're just like an angel, Your skin makes me cry You float like a feather In a beautiful world I wish I was special You're so fucking special But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo What the hell am I doin' here? I don't belong here I don't care if it hurts, I wanna have control I want a perfect body I want a perfect soul I want you to notice when I'm not around You're so fucking special I wish I was special But I'm a creep I'm a weirdo What the hell am I doin' here? I don't belong here, ohhhh, ohhhh She's running out the door She's running out She run run run run... run... Whatever makes you happy Whatever you want You're so fucking special I wish I was special But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo What the hell am I doin' here? I don't belong here I don't belong here... . Finally home after two weeks. Lugged a huge bag up the cab and came home. Home, a place of refuge, solitude and refreshment. I kinda miss my room, my bed, my smelly bolster. Hahaha... bro's gf's over so I'm locking myself up in my room now. Dont want to walk in on anything hahah... Actually it suits me fine, to be in my room alone, to be with my thoughts and just think about stuff, tho i often profess that I think far too much for my own good. Well, a real trait of an introvert i guess. Then again, it could be a self fulfilling prophesy at play here cause all along I thought I'm an extrovert. Marketing project awaits and I'm supposed to come out with new names for giordano.. how fun. On a brighter note, meeting pots and cheryl tonight at timbre! Haha.. hope the live band's good. But it wouldnt matter, cause the company rocks! Hopefully would still have the energy to head to the airport to catch up on my backlog which has been piling up for the past few weeks due to crazy schedules. Must get a 5.0 this sem to pull a CGPA of 4.0. I can do anything through HIM who gives me strength! Speaking of which, one of my maj events just ended. Now still got 2 to go before I'm free. The next up and coming one is hall prod. =)... I think I enjoy myself most when I'm in there. Maybe its a form of escapism where I can just stop being myself and start being someone else for a change. Ahh well, shall not sink into one of my emo moods agn. Its a happy day! I'm about to start cold turkey for a lot of things. I need strength. Thinking about it logically and rationally makes it less painful.. I'll try to stay rational...too bad that's not my forte. Oh shit, emo mood out again. Cannot cannot.. argh... ok.. I'm off. Have a great recess week ppl whether you're in SG or BKK! =) . Extremely nice song and an even nicer dance Your view on yourself: You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties. The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for: You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true. Your readiness to commit to a relationship: You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person. The seriousness of your love: You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love. Your views on education You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job. The right job for you: You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life. How do you view success: You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous. What are you most afraid of: You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear. Who is your true self: You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long wow... i'm slightly impressed... . Hello goodbye... Looks like it will be this way.... oh well... Other things that require my attention now... Just need to be there... I cant do this agn... not agn... Thinking too much? I think not... I'm just so confused now... its spinning... Whatever...seriously.... .  Fitting? . Chummy Chummy....... . 1 day, then 2 days, after that 4 days, and then 11 days... things are coming, aniticipation, hesitation, apprehension, hope. The thoughts are ceaseless... useless mostly, self serving useless thoughts that wander through my mind which should be filled with work... I shouldnt, but I cant help it... Celestialism is a hope once agn. But yes, we can do it. Incompetencies shall be my undermining my confidence. A msg just came in which alleviated one of my fears. For that I'm thankful. I shall have hope for true-ity in whatever was expressed and take comfort in that fact. Talking in riddles, probably, but only the wise shall understand. I shall remain on this path that I've decided. Scoprio's are extremely hard-headed creatures. It won't be easy...but what sweetness is there in something so easily obtained? Brick walls.. Bazzar beckons... another useless thing that I've to be down for.. till then! . High on oxytocin . Just watched Bruce Almighty... cant believe i teared in a comedy... tsk... . Twas scrolling through my old entries for the past yr. I must conclude that my writing flair has dipped considerably. But this particular entry caught my eye. Hope it applies =) God's Coffee A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life. Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee. When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: "If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups... And then you began eyeing each other's cups. Now consider this: Life is the coffee; the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of Life we live. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided us." God brews the coffee, not the cups.......... Enjoy your coffee! "The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything." Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God. -Author Unknown This is why some people can go through life feeling so happy and others in a perpetual state of stress and anxiety. Oh well.. its now CNY, Happy Niu Year to all! =)... and I've decided... what's the worse that could happen? I'll just be the same as I am now... anyway.. thanks for all the concern everyone! esp mu mao!!!! hahah.. . The Battle Is The Lord’s 2 Chronicles 20:15 15… Do not be afraid nor dismayed because of this great multitude, for the battle is not yours, but God’s. When faced with a problem or challenge, we tend to ask ourselves, “What am I going to do?” And well-meaning family members and friends will come along and ask, “What are you going to do?” Jehoshaphat faced a multitude of enemies. But instead of focusing on what he would do, he prayed, “O our God, will You not judge them? For we have no power against this great multitude that is coming against us; nor do we know what to do, but our eyes are upon You.” (2 Chronicles 20:12) When we turn our eyes to God, we will hear Him say, “Do not be afraid nor dismayed because of this great multitude, for the battle is not yours, but God’s... You will not need to fight in this battle. Position yourselves, stand still and see the salvation of the Lord…” (2 Chronicles 20:15, 17) But standing still is the last thing we want to do when the enemy is coming against us. It is also the most difficult thing to do because we feel that we cannot just stand around and do nothing — we must try to save the situation. But God wants us to stand still and see Jesus our salvation fight for us. So what do you do the next time you are faced with a battle and don’t know what to do? Jehoshaphat sent his singers to the front of the army to proclaim, “Praise the Lord, for His mercy endures forever.” (2 Chronicles 20:21) Some people will wonder, “Does that mean that I just sing and don’t do anything else when I have a problem?” No, that is not what I am saying. Do what the situation requires, but don’t worry and don’t trust in what you do. Like Jehoshaphat, rest and trust in His mercy that endures forever. When you do that, God will turn your battlefield into the Valley of Berachah. Berachah means “blessings”. The children of Israel gave the battlefield this name because it took them three days to gather all the spoils of war! God turned their situation into a great blessing! (2 Chronicles 20:25–26) Do you have a battle to fight? Stand still and see the salvation of the Lord! . I Don’t know what to say now I Don’t know where to start I Don’t know how to handle A complicated heart You tell me you are leaving But I just have to say Before you throw it all away Chorus: Even if you want to go alone I will be waiting when you’re coming home If you need someone to ease the pain You can lean on me, my love will still remain Don’t know what you’re thinking To me it seems quite tough To hold a conversation When words are not enough So this is your decision And there’s, nothing I can do I can only say to you Chorus: Even if you want to go alone I will be waiting when you’re coming home If you need someone to ease the pain You can lean on me, my love will still remain If this is your decision And there’s, nothing I can do I can only say to you Even if you want to go alone I will be waiting when you’re coming home If you need someone to ease the pain You can lean on me, my love will still remain Even if you want to go alone I will still love you when tomorrow comes When you need someone to ease the pain You can lean on me, my love will still remain SUCK IT UP DESMOND!!!!! Here we go agn....... . 4 hrs to complete one stats tutorial...nice... i'm zonked out... mkting... ob and accs to go............. . If you've seen over 85 films, you have no life. Mark the ones you've seen. There are 239 films on this list. Copy this list, go to your own facebook/livejournal/whatever account, paste this as a note. Then, put x's next to the films you've seen, add them up, change the header adding your number, and click post at the bottom. Have fun. ( ) Rocky Horror Picture Show ( ) Grease (X) Pirates of the Caribbean (X) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest ( ) Boondock Saints ( ) Fight Club ( ) Starsky and Hutch (x) Neverending Story ( ) Blazing Saddles ( ) Airplane Total: 3 ( ) The Princess Bride (x) Anchorman ( ) Napoleon Dynamite ( ) Labyrinth (x) Saw (X) Saw II ( ) White Noise ( ) White Oleander (X) Anger Management (x) 50 First Dates (x) The Princess Diaries (x) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement Total so far: 10 (x) Scream (x) Scream 2 (x) Scream 3 (x) Scary Movie (x) Scary Movie 2 (x) Scary Movie 3 (x) Scary Movie 4 (x) American Pie (x) American Pie 2 ( ) American Wedding ( ) American Pie Band Camp Total so far: 19 (x) Harry Potter 1 (x) Harry Potter 2 (x) Harry Potter 3 (x) Harry Potter 4 (x) Resident Evil 1 (x) Resident Evil 2 (x) The Wedding Singer ( ) Little Black Book ( ) The Village (x) Lilo & Stitch Total so far: 27 (x) Finding Nemo ( ) Finding Neverland ( ) Signs ( ) The Grinch ( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre ( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (x) White Chicks ( ) Butterfly Effect ( ) 13 Going on 30 (x) I, Robot (x) Robots Total so far: 31 ( ) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story ( ) Universal Soldier (x) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events ( ) Along Came Polly (x) Deep Impact ( ) KingPin ( ) Never Been Kissed (x) Meet The Parents (x) Meet the Fockers ( ) Eight Crazy Nights ( ) Joe Dirt (x) KING KONG (2005) Total so far: 36 (x) A Cinderella Story (x) The Terminal ( ) The Lizzie McGuire Movie ( ) Passport to Paris (x) Dumb & Dumber (x ) Dumber & Dumberer (x) Final Destination (x) Final Destination 2 (x) Final Destination 3 (x) Halloween (x) The Ring ( ) The Ring 2 ( ) Surviving X-MAS (x) Flubber Total so far: 46 (x) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle ( ) Practical Magic ( ) Chicago (x) Ghost Ship ( ) From Hell (x) Hellboy ( ) Secret Window (x) I Am Sam (x) The Whole Nine Yards ( ) The Whole Ten Yards Total so far: 51 (X) The Day After Tomorrow (x) Child's Play (x) Seed of Chucky (x) Bride of Chucky ( ) Ten Things I Hate About You (x) Just Married ( ) Gothika (x) Nightmare on Elm Street ( ) Sixteen Candles (x) Remember the Titans ( ) Coach Carter (x) The Grudge ( ) The Grudge 2 (x) The Mask ( ) Son Of The Mask Total so far:60 (x) Bad Boys (x) Bad Boys 2 ( ) Joy Ride ( ) Lucky Number Slevin (x) Ocean's Eleven (X) Ocean's Twelve (x) Bourne Identity (x) Bourne Supremacy ( ) Lone Star ( ) Bedazzled (x) Predator I (x) Predator II (x) The Fog (x) Ice Age ( ) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown ( ) Curious George Total so far: 70 (x) Independence Day ( ) Cujo ( ) A Bronx Tale (x) Darkness Falls ( ) Christine ( ) ET (x) Children of the Corn ( ) My Bosses Daughter (x) Maid in Manhattan (x) War of the Worlds (x) Rush Hour (x) Rush Hour 2 Total so far: 77 ( ) Best Bet ( ) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days ( ) She's All That ( ) Calendar Girls ( ) Sideways ( ) Mars Attacks (x) Event Horizon ( ) Ever After ( ) Wizard of Oz (X) Forrest Gump ( ) Big Trouble in Little China (x) The Terminator (x) The Terminator 2 (x) The Terminator 3 Total so far: 82 (x) X-Men (x) X-2 (x) X-3 (x) Spider-Man (x) Spider-Man 2 ( ) Sky High (x) Jeepers Creepers (x) Jeepers Creepers 2 (x) Catch Me If You Can ( ) The Little Mermaid (x) Freaky Friday ( ) Reign of Fire ( ) The Skulls ( ) Cruel Intentions ( ) Cruel Intentions 2 (x) The Hot Chick (x) Shrek (x) Shrek 2 Total so far: 94 ( ) Swimfan ( ) Miracle on 34th street ( ) Old School (x) The Notebook ( ) K-Pax ( ) Krippendorf's Tribe (x) A Walk to Remember ( ) Ice Castles ( ) Boogeyman ( ) The 40-year-old Virgin Total so far: 96 (x) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring (x) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers (x) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King (x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark (x) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (x) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade Total so far: 102 ( ) BASEketball ( ) Hostel ( ) Waiting for Guffman ( ) House of 1000 Corpses ( ) Devils Rejects ( ) Elf (x) Highlander ( ) Mothman Prophecies ( ) American History X ( ) Three Total so Far: 103 ( ) The Jacket (x) Kung Fu Hustle (x) Shaolin Soccer (x) Night Watch (x) Monsters Inc. (x) Titanic ( ) Monty Python and the Holy Grail (x) Shaun Of the Dead ( ) Willard Total so far: 109 ( ) High Tension ( ) Club Dread (x) Hulk (x) Dawn Of the Dead ( ) Hook (x) Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe (x) 28 days later ( ) Orgazmo ( ) Phantasm (x) Waterworld Total so far: 114 (x) Kill Bill vol 1 (x) Kill Bill vol 2 (x) Mortal Kombat ( ) Wolf Creek (x) Kingdom of Heaven (x) The Hills Have Eyes ( ) I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman ( ) The Last House on the Left ( ) Re-Animator ( ) Army of Darkness Total so far: 119 (x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace (x) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones (x) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith (x) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope (x) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back (x) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi ( ) Ewoks Caravan Of Courage ( ) Ewoks The Battle For Endor Total so far: 125 (x) The Matrix (x) The Matrix Reloaded (x) The Matrix Revolutions (x) Animatrix ( ) Evil Dead ( ) Evil Dead 2 ( ) Team America: World Police (x) Red Dragon (x) Silence of the Lambs (X) Hannibal Total so far: 132 OMG... i cant believe it.... . Oooh oooh, ooooh yeah, mmmm... Love can be a many splendored thing Can't deny the joy it brings A dozen roses, diamond rings Dreams for sale and fairy tales It'll make you hear a symphony And you just want the world to see But like a drug that makes you blind, It'll fool ya every time The trouble with love is It can tear you up inside Make your heart believe a lie It's stronger than your pride The trouble with love is It doesn't care how fast you fall And you can't refuse the call See, you got no say at all Now I was once a fool, it's true I played the game by all the rules But now my world's a deeper blue I'm sadder, but I'm wiser too I swore I'd never love again I swore my heart would never mend Said love wasn't worth the pain But then I hear it call my name (The trouble with) The trouble with love is It can tear you up inside Make your heart believe a lie It's stronger than your pride The trouble with love is It doesn't care how fast you fall And you can't refuse the call See, you got no say at all Every time I turn around I think I've got it all figured out My heart keeps callin' and I keep on fallin' Over and over again This sad story always ends the same Me standin' in the pourin' rain It seems no matter what I do It tears my heart in two (The trouble with love is) The trouble with love, yeah (It can tear you up inside) It can tear you up inside (Make your heart believe a lie) Make your heart believe a lie It's stronger than your pride (The trouble with love is) It's in your heart It's in your soul (doesn't care how fast you fall) You won't get no control (and you can't refuse the call) See, you got no say at all (The trouble with love is) Oh, yeah (It can tear you up inside) (Make your heart believe a lie) Say Its Carol Singers..With any luck next year.. I'd be going out with one of these girls...but for now let me say...without hope or agenda...just because its christmas...(and at christmas you tell the truth)...TO ME YOU ARE PERFECT...and my wasted heart will love you...until you look like this.............................. Merry Christmas AAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWW Love Actually rocks my socks! =)... . Ahh, the festive mood is in the air! Just finished doing up some of the things i needed to do. And what a suprise... i was in my own little world at TCC when my suddenly someone holla-ed my name. Turns out my friend used to work at T3 TCC and came back for a X'mas celebration with the staff. Haha coolness... and apparently i'm considered a regular here alrd. LOL. Well this place will bring back memories.. memories of painful mugging and of encouraging and waking ppl up. Fond memories. I guess it will happen again next march-apr when exams are looming agn Well, its raining outside now. A shower from the heavens above to cleanse and renew. A new year approaches and so does a new sem. Many hopes and aspirations lie strewn in its wake too. Somehow i'm a mix of anticipation and anxiety. The only constant is change and now i'm the constant. I think I'm still trying to find out who i really am despite professing to know myself really well. Unexpected things I've done in the past year are staggering. I've experienced working life, experienced deep loss, experienced strong friendships, experienced backstabbing, experienced disappointment, experienced triumph.. so much has happened in the past year. For good or bad, it has been one of the most colourful years if not THE most colourful year of my life so far. Somethings don't change tho. Procratination and disorganisation are still my 2 biggest pitfalls. Just look at my room and my prep for last sem's exam..hahah.. oh well. Random thoughts are flooding in right now. Some new year resolutions and goals just crossed my mind so i shall record them down 1. Stop my dependance on lung killing sticks after production 2. Be the best actor for my hall play 3. Break out of my plateau for guitar. 4. Get a GPA of at least 4.5 5. Start an investment portfolio with monthly savings. 6. Read more esp newspapers. 7. Manage my time properly between ________________, school work and JCRC. 8. Be nicer to my folks 9. Go church more regularly and be more involved. 10. Learn harmonisation. 11. Procrastinate less and be more organised(realistic goal setting cuz i know i cant eliminate them by next yr =p) 12. Start Driving to NTU on weekends. 13. Start exercising.. the damn beer belly's unsightly. 14. Improve my languages. Well.. ok random list. Haha. Oh well.. ok... time to end off this post which want planned to be so long . Another freaking emo song... treasure those that you love arond you before you might never be able to love them again! Verse 1: Back when I was a child Before life removed all the innocence My father would lift me high And dance with my mother and me and then Spin me around till I fell asleep Then up the stairs he would carry me And I knew for sure I was loved Chorus: If I could get another chance Another walk, another dance with him, I'd play a song that would never ever end How I'd love love love, to dance with my father again Verse 2: When I and my mother would disagree To get my way I would run from her to him He'd make me laugh just to comfort me(yeah, yeah) Then finally make me do just what my momma said Later that night, when I was asleep He left a dollar under my sheet Never dreamed that he would be gone from me Chorus: If I could steal One final glance One final step One final dance with him I'd play a song that would never ever end Cause I'd love love love to dance with my father again Verse 3: Sometimes I'd listen outside her door I'd hear how my mother cried for him (x2) I'd pray for her even more than me I know I'm praying for much too much But could you send back the only man she loved I know you don't do it usually But dear Lord she' s dying to dance with my father again Every night I fall asleep And this is all I ever dream . Was quite low today... but... EH WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I WON'T GET MY 5.0 and its prelude cheered me up tremendously... thank you! =) . I need a chill pill... seriously... it happens every single f**king time... RAWR!!! Been watching OC... reminds me of my A lvl days where it always air-ed at 1 am and i'd be watching instead of mugging.. hee.. Should i change my blogskin? Or mayb shift address? Any kind soul wants to volunteer to help me create a blogskin?? =p . Just finished carolling practise.. its quite fun actually.. but warm-ups are sucky...hahah...carolling made me think of this song S Club 7 really one of my favourite bands of all times... and this song is just soo aww... Christmas is really my favourite time of the year.. its the hols and all.. the pretty lights along orchard and the shopping centres. Mayb can go one late night and just walk down orchard road... its'll be nice.. anyone wants to accompany me? Haha.. random thoughts.. ok... nap den a swim again.. hope the sun does not disappear behind the clouds when i go ltr. . A nice project after exams.. how wonderful.. i'm absoultely thrilled.. esp when my future might depend on it.. Yayness The past few days were good tho.. now the stuff's in the open... all that's left is to wait i guess.. Back to work... feels like exams are looming all over again.. . It's done... hope you liked it! =) . The curtain's finally drawn on this sem... I've done my best in my current situation and thus, I leave it all up to Him to do the rest. Points to take home will be to start earlier and be consistant next sem. Not to be too complacent that time will be sufficient at the end especially for another calculation heavy topic like stats. Cold turkey coincided perfectly with the end of papers. Now theres lots of prep work to be done if you know what i mean. Shall have a good sleep tonight after dinner and drinks and tml the sun will shine again and i can start another brilliant day. Ok.. i'm rambling... spillover from Biz Law=p Enjoy the after exams! =) . Wow... I'm honestly impressed by how polite some service staff can sound over the phone. Hope the service on the actual day's as good too! Back to Breach of Contracts now though ='(... 2 more days!!!!! Both looking forward and dreading it... . 4 days... painfully near yet painfully far... . Phase 1 complete.... few more to go.... Tired beyond measure... shall treat myself to sleep after the exams... I seriously cant wait... 5 more days... hang on... hang on... Two days past eighteen He was waitin' for the bus in his army greens Sat down in a booth, at a café there Gave his order to a girl with a bow in her hair He's a little shy, so she gave him a smile And he said, would you mind sittin' down for awhile And talkin' to me, I'm feelin' a little low She said, I'm off in an hour and I know where we can go So they went down and they sat on the pier He said, I bet you got a boyfriend, but I don't care I've got no one to send a letter to Would you mind if I sent one back here to you I cried Never gonna hold the hand of another guy Too young for him they told her Waitin' for the love of a travelin' soldier Our love will never end Waitin' for the soldier to come back again Never more to be alone When the letter says, a soldier's coming home So the letters came From an army camp In California, then Vietnam And he told her of his heart It might be love And all of the things he was so scared of He said ,when it's gettin' kinda rough over here I think of that day, sittin' down at the pier And I close my eyes and see your pretty smile Don't worry, but I won't be able to write for awhile I cried Never gonna hold the hand of another guy Too young for him they told her Waitin' for the love of a travelin' soldier Our love will never end Waitin' for the soldier to come back again Never more to be alone When the letter says a soldier's coming home One Friday night at a football game The Lord's Prayer said and the anthem sang A man said, folks would you bow your heads For a list of local, Vietnam dead Cryin' all alone under the stands Was a piccolo player in the marching band And one name read, but nobody really cared But a pretty little girl with a bow in her hair I cried Never gonna hold the hand of another guy Too young for him they told her Waitin' for the love of a travelin' soldier Our love will never end Waitin' for the soldier to come back again Never more to be alone When the letter says a soldier's coming... I cried Never gonna hold the hand of another guy Too young for him they told her Waitin' for the love of a travelin' soldier Our love will never end Waitin' for the soldier to come back again Never more to be alone When the letter says a soldier's coming home A rare song in a long while that actually caused me to tear slightly. I wonder when can i write such lyrics.. Now its just number crunching agn.. cya! . Some Quotes From Loves Songs on Class 95.. Love is too strong a word to be said too early but has too beautiful a meaning to be said too late.. When I'm in love, my heart aches for her.. but in a good way.. Romance is doing little things all the time and doing something big once in awhile.. Love can sometimes be magic, but magic can sometimes be an illusion Love is when you don't have to say anything but he knows exactly how you feel. A song from Depeche Mode that didnt sound very nice to me at first but eventually grew on me -Somebody I want somebody to share Share the rest of my life Share my innermost thoughts Know my intimate details Someone who'll stand by my side And give me support And in return She'll get my support She will listen to me When I want to speak About the world we live in And life in general Though my views may be wrong They may even be perverted She'll hear me out And won't easily be converted To my way of thinking In fact she'll often disagree But at the end of it all She will understand me I want somebody who cares For me passionately With every thought And with every breath Someone who'll help me see things In a different light All the things I detest I will almost like I don't want to be tied To anyone's strings I'm carefully trying to stay clear Out of those things But when I'm asleep I want somebody Who will put their arms around me And kiss me tenderly Though things like this make me sick In a case like this I'll get away with it And in a place like this I'll get away with it What is panic? Panic is looking at past year's questions 3 days away from the exam and not knowing how to do a single freaking one.... WTF!!!! OMG... I so love Class 95.. belting out hits after hits of my fav songs!! back to the mean Accs =( . Its the kind of morning that i so adore... the kind that you wake from the patter of rain on your window. The kind where you just want to stay under the sheets and stare out into the gray sky and watch the raindrops fall upon the earth. The kind where you'll just want to stay in bed with a good read which unfortunately for me now, the title of that good read would be Singapore Biz Law.. then again i'd be losing consciousness real soon... Btw, making a radio shoutout's soo cool! Shall try it agn sometime in the future when ppl are awake=p Anyway someone extremely dear to me shared this thought it might encourage others too so here it is: Did you know that an eagle knows when a storm is approaching long before it breaks? The eagle will fly to some high spot and wait for the winds to come. When the storm hits, it sets its wings so that the wind will pick it up and lift it above the storm. While the storm rages below, the eagle is soaring above it. The eagle does not escape the storm. It simply uses the storm to lift it higher. When the storms of life come upon us - and all of us will experience them - we can rise above them by setting our minds and our belief toward God. The storms do not have to overcome us. We can allow God's power to lift us above them. God enables us to ride the winds of the storm that bring sickness, tragedy, failure and disappointment in our lives. We can soar above the storm. Remember, it is not the burdens of life that weigh us down, it is how we handle them. Loves the enlightener=) XOXO okok.. shall stop being so lian... Morning world! . Its 2am soon... All the best to everyone for their exams tml. God bless! =) . At ADM studying with Kass and Sann now... not a bad place to study i must say.. too bad no coffee and stuff.. hee.. My lappie's back and functioning! Yayness... too bad my earphones are semi spoilt now =(.. left side not functioning. Damn.. one thing spoilt after another.. boo! Ok... back to ERDs and whatnots.. grr... . At the airport studying once more.. definately more productive than last night..its pouring out now.. such lovely weather.. Well, guess which place of the airport I'm at? I'll give you a few hints! Tantalising Caffine Concoctions Trusty Choice Companion Tie Coat Casual Total Complete Contentment Trademark Classic Coffee The Cuppas Cuppa Guessed it yet? Haha.. went to see MSG Tan today. Turns out he's stricken with stage 4 lymphocima. But the good thing is that he appeared to be in good spirits, save the markings on his skin. Lord, tho he has not accepted Christ yet, I'd like to pray for this precious brother of mine. He has a 2 kids who are still schooling, and many more years to spend with them. Lord, I commit his afflictions into your hands and may Your will be done. My original thought when i was going there today was that if it was lung cancer, I'd stop myself, but its not. However, just finished my last stick and as i returned to my sit, I overheard the convo of 2 ladies behind me. They were talking abt someone quitting for some reason. I tink mayb I shud too for certain reasons. Cold turkey is soooo gonna suck... esp during the exam period. But if not now.. then when? Zhao, if i'm successful, paiseh.. next time you'd be alone. Time to quit too.. stop killing joyce! lol.. dun let her become a widow aye? Ah well.. listening to a playlist from Imeem now. Not bad for concentration if u like classical music. Those that need music to study, probably you can try this : http://www.imeem.com/people/lmMzEI/playlist/GXFjM8Wz/studying_jams_music_playlist Haha.. ok.. shall word challenge for a few rounds and then its back to the books. Cya all! =) . Came to the airport to study... nothing achieved=(... dammit... i tink i'm burning out... dammit Speaking of which, my lappie died too... =(... rawr... Hope tml can be more productive. Will be heading to MSG Tan's house to pay him a visit tho... poor guy... got cancer.. hai... should I go cold turkey? Not for anyone else, but myself. Probably I'll know by tml. Oh well. So many worries on my mind now. Just waiting to catch the first bus home for some shut eye. Thank you Lord for the biz law. Now carry me through my exams . Carry me pls... I'm tired... . At my usual place again on a sat... its dam packed la.. sigh.. shall vie for a seat with a ppt nearby or else wun be able to get much done tonight. Shall attempt to study IT and FM(ironic that I'm studying this 2 together since Marc Low kinda hates FM) tonight alone.. rawr...today has been quite a shitty day. Why? 1. I went home and concussed till arnd 6pm, woke up, ate and concussed and woke up at 9 plus... and came to the airport. Highly productive hor? 2.I did attempt to work when i woke up at 6... BUT when i turned my 3 mth old lappie on... POOFED... i told me that my hard disk drive crashed. WTF... now I'm contenting with my mum's lappie at the airport. 3. While I was peeing at the urinal, some short ball headed foreigner glanced over at my weener and started to chat me up. WTF man... he asked me wad i was doing here, if i were singaporean.. blah blah blah while we were peeing.. got dam freaked out. That would make a total of 3 known gay advances on me alrd. Compared to the number of straight advances, its really pathetic. Hai... There's com fund coming up, lots of tutorials and past yr papers ot print and do.. oh my... the Lord will provide i guess. On a brighter note, the 6 Shots Halloween celebration last night was swell. Got dunked into the fountian at ADM(and dunked many others). Went to watch The Coffin which was dam good btw, and had tonnes of laughs all through the night. Ahh, simple pleasures. Simple pleasures that are so hard to come by now that the bloody finals are nearing. Cant wait for 24 nov. Till then! . OMG!!! This was wad was posted on the daily devotional today... He Is The God Of Your Valleys Too 1 Kings 20:23 23Then the servants of the king of Syria said to him, “Their gods are gods of the hills. Therefore they were stronger than we; but if we fight against them in the plain, surely we will be stronger than they. In 1 Kings 20, we find the Syrians being defeated by the Israelites. Then, some of the Syrian king’s advisers gave the king what they thought was the reason for their defeat. They said that they had fought on the hills and lost because Israel’s God is the God of the hills. So if they were to fight the Israelites on the plains or in the valleys, they would win. What stupid advice! They thought that the God of Israel only helped His people up in the hills and mountains, and not down in the valleys. Now, mountains refer to our good times, and valleys, our bad times. Some people have this idea that God is the God of our good times, but He is not there when we are going through bad times. They think that He leaves us helpless in the valleys, especially when the troubles are of our own making. My friend, I want you to know that our God is the God of the mountains, but He is also the God of the valleys! God the Son laid aside His crown of glory, His royal majesty and came down for us, stepping into a human body as a baby. He came down to where we were for the sole purpose of dying on the cross for our sins, so that He could bring us up to what God the Father has for us at His right hand. Jesus came down to crown us with glory and honor, to clothe us with robes of righteousness and make us His bride, sharing everything that He has with us. That is the grace of God. He came down to our valley. So whatever you are going through right now, know that God is right there in your valley with you. He is holding you in His arms and carrying you through the valley. Victory is already yours. Just as the Israelites were also victorious in the valley (1 Kings 20:28–29), so will you be because the God of the valleys is right there with you! Its just too coincidental to be a coincidence. Thank you Father!!! =) Just had com funds and accounts quiz less than 24 hrs ago.. I'd like to believe that everything happens for reason. But i just cant see why I got a freaking 11/20 for my accs. I mean those qns that I was pretty sure I was correct turn out wrong and those that I wasnt sure of were correct. I mean wth man, I definately put in more effort this time round, and i get this. I mean I wouldnt be so affected if i had no obligations...ah shit... I guess the only consolation is that I must learn from my mistake and not commit them in the exam agn. THANKS A LOT. That really meant a lot to me. Really.=) I guess that's the only silver lining that i can see from this cloud of grey bt then agn it might mean anything... duality and reading too much into things has always been a flaw of mine, sry... I guess I really have to start allocating my time properly. Maybe if I become as hardworking as I was for the previous few days, I might just be able to hit my targeted GPA after the exams. The prospect of it is super daunting tho. I just spammed like 2 cans of red bull, one essence of chicken and tonnes of nicotine today just to keep myself functioning. Damn... I guess this weekend is the last one that I can play alrd. I mean I'm even more clueless in IT than accs and i shudder to think wad I would get if i took the paper now as I am. Oh wth... whining nvr got anybody anywhere, I just got to pick myself up and go agn. I think i'm pretty fucked up tho, I mean I know my responsibilty to my guarantors and my parents and those that have hopes pinned on me but somehow or rather, I just can't motivate myself enough. I need to find some other source of motivation. But what? rawr... I guess I got to figure that out... and soon.. actually I can think of one right now. One thing is a great motivation. Now tt would really hurt... ok pardon my musing.. they arent meant to be comprehendable. Ok... feels so much better after taking it out on my keyboard. Lord, help me find rest and peace in Your hands now and not worry. Thank You for doing everything for me. Bankai!!!!!! . It's not whether you get knocked down. It's whether you get up again. Some quotes to inspire the restless and the inertia bound unproductive soul The winter of the soul, in its seeming barrenness,its times of seeming unproductivity, its times of silence and seeming stalemate, is perhaps it most important season. Without it, there is no recovery of freshness and vitality; no bursting forth in springtime splendor. --Dwight Judy Stand up to your obstacles and do something about them. You will find that they haven't half the strength you think they have.- Norman Vincent Peale Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs. Henry Ford There are two ways of meeting difficulties: you alter the difficulties, or you alter yourself to meet them. Phyllis Bottome Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action. Benjamin Disraeli Conditions are never just right. People who delay action until all factors are favourable do nothing. William Feather Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another. Walter Elliott “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” - Dr Wayne Dyer “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” - Winston Churchill “The secret to success is to start from scratch and keep on scratching.” - Dennis Green “It isn’t what the book costs. It’s what it will cost you if you don’t read it.” - Jim Rohn (LOL) Well yea... take more breaks and work at the stuff slowly but surely... things can only get better! =)... dripping water will break through a stone sooo... keep at it.. I'm sure you can do it! Jia you!! Ok...back to work.. My heart says we've got something real Can I trust the way I feel 'Cause my heart's been fooled before Am I just seeing what I want to see Or is it true, could you really be Someone to have and hold With all my heart and soul I need to know, before I fall in love Someone who'll stay around Through all my ups and downs Please tell me now, before I fall in love I'm at the point of no return So afraid of getting burned But I want to take a chance Please give me a reason to believe Say, you're the one That you'll always be Someone to have and hold With all my heart and soul I need to know, before I fall in love Someone who'll stay around Through all my ups and downs Please tell me now, before I fall in love It's been so hard for me To give my heart away But I would give my everything Just to hear you say Someone to have and hold With all my heart and soul I need to know, before I fall in love Someone who'll stay around Through all my ups and downs Please tell me now, before I fall in love Before I fall in love.. Darn nice oldie =) Work beckons...dammit... . Its raining outside and the patter of the raindrops falling from the heavens above to the earth below sounds extremely soothing. Thank you Lord for giving me my favourite kind of night on my day. The air tml morning will be crisp and clean and that is something to look forward to. I love the night, rainy ones at that. I remb staring out into the rain at the street lights below as I waited for my dad to retun from the airport. I remb waking up to thunder and lightning and a heavy downpour on my first day at RI and VJ. Remb walking thru the rain together with PS. Seems that rainy weather follows me into every chapter of my life. 21 marks a new chapter in everybody's life. Though I don't really feel much different or rather I don't think I will feel much of a difference in a couple of hours time, but I understand the responsiblility that I now fully carry. "Jui Chang De Dian Ying" playing on my com now. Wad a song to bring back memories of my 21 yrs of life. So many friends I've made along the way. Some of whom I've lost contact with, some whom I've managed to contact after years thanks to fb. Some old ones that go back a long way, some new ones to walk the road ahead. For that I am thankful. Lord, bless each and every soul that has impacted and touched my life for the past 21 yrs. Some of them might alrd be by your side but bless them nonetheless too. Speaking of which, thank you Harold for your well wishes tho 2 days in advance. Has UK screwed ur sense of time? Or is it a blonde tt did tt? LOL. Thanks bro. Yar la, I'm no longer a kid. I think i should start acting tt way too. Well just some thoughts of someone in transition... now i await the diabolical plans my roomie and JCRC/QP/Orion have schemed for me...hahaha... Happy Birthday to me =) Slept from last night all the way till this morn tho i was only supposed to take a short nap before a long night of mugging... sleep deficit's being forceably paid back by my body... this cannot do... really... shit shit shit.... oh well... guess i got to adopt A Lvl standard of mugging alrd... something which i wont enjoy...a long day of tutorials await and god knows wad other crap... cya all! . Thanks 6 SHOTS!!! =) Wasnt really expecting it so great job with the cover too! Haha... it was great seeing so many ppl there as well.. ah well... notes beckon... cya all ltr... Its also great that things are back on track in your life agn... one more worry off my mind... looks like this week could be one tt i enjoy afterall=) Thank you Lord =) . We've walked down that path before...it led to nowhere... it wont be any different this time round... In fact, it'll even be more futile. There's someone else on my mind alrd...she's there 24/7, 365... even tho I wun be sure if it'll not lead to heartbreak, its a risk I'll take.. its a risk I'm willing to take...and even if tt risk leads to nothingness, its still not possible any longer... Things built on soberness did not bear fruit, much less things built on drunkeness...I'm sorry... I truely am... forget abt it... . 6 hrs more to the outing... i cant wait... cheryl and pots... thanks for planning this for me despite your own challenges and time constraints... love you both! =) . Just finished IT lesson... damn suprised at myself for staying awake... hahah... guess sleeping early really does help! haha anyway a retarded convo happened between my tutorial mate and I just now I saw that she had a leathery looking bag so i asked Des: So which poor animal died so you could put your stuff? Meagan: I dun know Des: Looks like a croc. Meagan: Mayb... a few moments later, as an after thought Meagan: Then to create the cotton for your shirt, some poor animal died too wad Desmond:??? I thought cotton was from plants? Meagan: Oh ya! Wool i mean! *Laughter all around* LOL Looks like i'm not alone in this retarded world.. =) Gonna treat myself to 4 hrs of sleep.... yayness... nite world Te quiero Je t'aime Ich liebe dich Suki desu Saranghamnida . Give me a sign, anything, just tell me that i'm not chasing an empty dream once more This is the time i dread, in which nothing is said, that happened many times before So go to sleep now, and wait for dawn to pierce the sky And know that in my dreams or when I wake, ur always on my mind . I just realised something.... IT is my first paper... and its LESS THAN A MONTH AWAY...and I dont know anything abt it... "-_-... . everything happens/does not happen for a reason. we shall see... . My productivity now is practically 0... with exams looming and all.. omg... i better start my rusty engines. TAY CHEE MING DESMOND!!!!! BUCK UP!!!! RAWR... The night at the airport was spent in a daze with only myself and my lappie for physical company... the online company was very much endeared tho... thank you =)..rest well aye? another week beckons... Looking forward to fri with stuff planned for me =)... cant wait.. First i have to solve this stupid fm proj first... oh well... after i get some sleep at hm... nite all... . Just blogged hopped while procrastinating again... blogging now while procratinating too... lol... shit la... The night's so still... so quiet... so peaceful.. I love the night.. i really do.. And yar hopped to cheryl's blog just now... ur very much welcomed for the 30 may preps... it was my pleasure... I'm just glad that it meant and still means alot to you. You both look so happy together and for that I am thankful. I really am =) Sometimes I really don't know if i'm crossing the line... I really dont.. I guess its all trial and error.. but i'm sooo afraid of making mistakes that sometimes i'm hesitant. Hesitant till the point of inaction. Ah well... I guess everything it its own time... Shall go for a fag and hopefully start my work... hope i can catch up on acc at the airport after nette's party tml... . The greatest thing you'll ever learn.... is just to love... and be loved in return =) . New item on the List!!! ahha 11. Dress Watch =p . Its 619 am.. and I'm awake still.. just took a shower. Who says cold showers wake ppl up? hahah. Just finished doing my part of biz law presentation. The day was spent in a semi sleep mode. My body is beginning to feel the effects of the lack of sleep and caffine is losing its effect too. Hmm... is history repeating itself again? I dunno... I guess that's just the way I am... I freaking think too much sometimes. Oh well, only consolation i have is that i'm usually not spot on in my predictions although at that point in time i'm damn certain i'm right. Just became an official JCRC member a few hours ago. AGM was shitty as expected with the grand seniors arnd. SO FUCKING WHAT IF U WERE THE 17th President? Obviously ur tunure hasnt taught u anything at all. So probably go back to you pen pushing job and stay out of our hall. Past mid 20s and still acting like a child. Nice la... Ok.. glad that's out of my system. Hah.. and thanks for supper! =)(ok tt was random) Hmm.. as the day approaches... here is my wishlist so far: 1. A new sling bag(been using mine since J1 and its ripping at its seams alrd=p) 2. A MP3 armband so i can listen to music when I run( yes I do intend to start soon) 3. A cross choker (miss my old one) 4. Extra Laptop Battery for overnight mugging at the airport in case they shut the pwr. 6. Meeting up with friends I havent seen in ages. 7. A tower at clarke quay with Pots and Cheryl. Mayb make tt 2 towers =p 8. Sleep... Lots of it. 9. A new wardrobe. 10. The most impt... sometimes the most impt thing cannot be bought.If i do get no.10 the rest in front would be inconsequential..but that's for me to wait and see. Well Acc project beckons... so does com funds presentation.. I'm soooo looking forward to them.. ZOMG!.. I just looked outside and guess what? Day has broken...there's light.. omg... Damn nice old song I found in my computer... from the time when there were pagers.. When you have no light to guide you and no one to walk beside you I will come to you Oh I will come to you When the night is dark and stormy you won't have to reach out for me I will come to you Oh I will come to you Oh Sometimes when all your dreams may have seen better days When you don't know how and why but you've lost your way Have no fear When your tears are falling I will hear your spirit calling And I swear that I'll be there come what may When you have no light to guide you and no one to walk beside you I will come to you Oh I will come to you When the night is dark and stormy you won't have to reach out for me I will come to you Oh I will come to you Whoa Na na na na na na Na na na na na na (I will come to you) Na na na na na na Na na na na na na 'Cause even if we can't be together we'll be friends now and forever And I swear that I'll be there come what may When the night is dark and stormy you won't have to reach out for me I will come to you Oh I will come to you Whoa Oh We all need somebody we can turn to Whoa Oh Someone who'll always understand Oh So if you feel that your soul is dying And you need the strength to keep trying I'll reach out and take your hand Whoa Na na na na na na Na na na na na na (I'll reach out for your hand) Na na na na na na Na na na na na na Oh I will come to you Oh Oh Oh When you have no light to guide you and no one to walk beside you I will come to you Oh I will come to you When the night is dark and stormy you won't have to reach out for me Oh I will come to you Oh I will come to you Oh I will come to you Oh Whoa Oh I will come to you Oh I will come you I light a cigarette cause i can get no sleep....... . Some Quotes That are Meaningful Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them. Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear. Don't cry over anyone who won't cry over you. What do you do when the only person who can make you stop crying is the person who made you cry? If love isn't a game, why are there so many players? Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget. You can only go as far as you push! Actions speak louder than words. The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love somebody else. Don't let the past hold you back, you're missing the good stuff. Life's short. If you don't look around once in a while you might miss it. A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find and lucky to have. Some people make the world special by just being in it. When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend will be there. True friendship never ends. Friends are forever. Good friends are like stars.... you don't always see them, but you know they are always there. Don't frown, you never know who is falling in love with your smile. Everything is okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not the end. Most people walk in and out of your life, but only friends leave footprints in your heart. If u love someone...let her go. If she comes back to you she's yours.... If she doesn't then she never was. A kiss is just a kiss until u find the one you love. A hug is just a hug>until its from the one ur thinking of. A dream is just a dream until u make it come true. LOVE is just a word until its proven 2 u. Remember, every minute spent angry is sixty seconds of happiness wasted. To realize The value of a sister Ask someone Who doesn't have one. To realize The value of ten years: Ask a newly Divorced couple. To realize The value of four years: Ask a graduate. To realize The value of one year: Ask a student who Has failed a final exam. To realize The value of nine months: Ask a mother who gave birth to a still born. To realize The value of one month: Ask a mother who has given birth to A premature baby. To realize The value of one week: Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper. To realize The value of one hour: Ask the lovers who are waiting to Meet. To realize The value of one minute: Ask a person Who has missed the train, bus or plane. To realize The value of one-second: Ask a person Who has survived an accident... To realize The value of one millisecond: Ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics Time waits for no one. Treasure every moment you have. You will treasure it even more when you can share it with someone special. To realize the value of a friend: Lose one. A random post taken from a random email... shud be studying but the procratination bug bit again... dammit... i need sleep.. LOTS of it... guess not... Should I or should I not? Hmm........... Morning World! . I need some freaking comedy rite now... Slept before 12 yesterday. A luxury that comes once in a freaking long while. Still feel tired tho.. guess my sleep deficit has gone through the roof. However, I think that I'm really more productive at night. Woke up at 730 today, reached reading room at like 9 plus and listened to my online lectures. Didnt really understand. Shit.. FM's coming up on fri.. ARGH!!!.. haha... maybe i do worry too much. Well, looks like my day wont be any different this year afterall. Well, 20 years of the same thing, another 80 years wun make a diff rite? If that's what you want den so be it lor... So not looking forward alrd... Waiting for my project grp now in a freaking packed reading room. Highly non condusive for studies. Dammit i need a fag... Ciao... . Congrats to Zhao!! Cheers to the SKP! =) . Well, its nearly 5. The first day of "recess" week has started and I'm at the airport with 6 shots waiting to send C1 off. I'm gonna miss that gal and her quirky-ness.. Think I would tear ltr... Esp with Harold leaving and all. That makes it all the more harder. Watched Mama Mia with Cheryl and Pots earlier in the night. It was a dam good show i must say. Laughed my ass out.. haha.. It was real good hanging out with you guys agn. Pots, thank you for the lift to the airport man. Really appreciate it. That being said, I felt a little, I dunno, distant from yall. Mayb its just because i was tired but then again mayb not. So many things are going on now. Project meetings, JCRC chalet, SCHOOL WORK! I'm scared, I really am. I'm scared that I'll fail.. that I'll fail to meet expectations, that I'll let ppl arnd me down, that I'll lose my scholarship,that I'll lose touch with my friends, that I'll crack under stress despite my lassier faire attitude and lose my sainity. Its a stormy night once more.. While taking a break outside just now, I made a decision as too which path in my life i should take right now. The inertia is gonna be mother hard tho. But I really have to do it. Too much is at stake.. so much that I should, no, I must ignore my own wants and desires however painful that will be. Until I sort out my stuff tho, I must do that. On a brighter note however, I attended service today again. It was revitalizing. I really was recharged. I hope I can mae time for Him daily. I'm scared, petrified, but I just dont know how to scream.I need to see the light at the end of the tunnel tt is my life right now, financially, emotionally, academically,socially etc. Battery's dying so off I go. Goodbye. . Looks like my blog's been gathering dust. I think I've lost the flair of writing and now i generally post one liners or just song lyrics. Need to step out of this rut. So what's been going on in my life so far.. hmm.. lets see.. For one, accounts quiz just ended a few hours back. Checked my answers online and vola.. scored a 14.. not fantastic like the mole-ly smarty pants but I'm satisfied, thank you Lord. Well tt means I've scored 7 % of my grades already. Ubin last week was swell though I had the unfortunate honour of picking a bike with the seat tilted upwards so ya.. u figure the rest. Seafood was good and i particularly enjoyed the you tiao. Thinking of it now in hall at 4 am still makes me drool. And oh just in case u were wondering why the hell i'm still up, its because I'm still on a caffine high from the 3 cans of Red Bull i had in the day. Ok back to ubin. Campfire was highly entertaining. With Zhao's interjection of his fantastic guitar skills combined with his flawless vocals, laughter was abound. His 3 song playlist kept us pretty entertained throughout the night. Not to mention, it was also a pretty darn good wake up call. Hee.. and when 6 shots gather, there's bound to be the HTHT. I really don't know why, felt real down after HTHT and went to the side to through rocks into the sea. Strained my right hand and my fingers went spastic after tt. Ok.. mayb i do know why but thats for me to know and for you to find out. Left at first light and headed to bedok interchange for breakfast. Went back to hall at 4, missing church yet again for another week. Damnit, I got to stop this really. Commitments are really weighing me down. Studies, JCRC, QP ex-Officio, possible lead role in QP. Like last night had not finish studying for my quiz and had not finish audition training. Thank God for Cheryl. Thanks for listening to my pent up bitchiness and for dishing out advice and all. IF not for you i think i might have gone loco. Hmm loco, sounds like something Angel Batista would say dun you think my dear IceTruck Killer? And no, I'm not the jackass tt told Rita to find my shoe. Haha... Something's bugging me... it really is but I cant place a finger on it. Apprehension due to past experiences? Or is it just me over worrying myself? Or could it even be excitement in what might be possible or then again am I just kidding myself? Is it even possible? Hai... once again, I'm back to self doubt and the endless loop of self scrutiny which at the end of the night, will leave me with no answers but more wrinkles and white hair. Harold and C1 are leaving on mon. The coolest thing about it? Its the same flight!...Haha.. how coincidental is tt? Then again, nothing's cool about partings. Harold, the best bud I've known since sec 1, though you might not be reading this, bon voyage and take care over there aye? Get a blondie or something. Try something outrageous. Who says scholars can't have fun once in awhile? C1, thanks for your advices and your friendship these past few months. Though Its only been awhile, quoting straight from your nick, It takes one day to know their names, 5 days to create wonderful memories, and a lifetime to forget it all. I know I won't forget you=). You take care over there alright? post many pictures and get a blog if you dont already have one. Partings suck, but one eventually has to move on. That's the way life is. Oh well. The harsh facts of reality. Well the harshest fact of reality hitting me now is that I have to do my part for the fm project and its already 417 am . Its been like that for ages. God i need sleep amongst so many other things as well. Aye, shall end off and I'll cya when I cya =) Morning world.. . Somehow... I couldn't close your message box... . back in hall yet agn.. the question remains... "HOW??" . Its 5 and i'm still up... I'm turning vampiric soon... slept roughly about the same time yest.. ended up over sleeping.. =s... i'm lagging in my work, i'm having problems with my CCA. I'm having too many events to got for..I'm deliberating if i should go for it but i'm scared.. honestly i am.. I tink i'll snap if it turns out unfavourably.. On the brighter side tho.. night fishing was fun and i'm looking forward to cycling/camping soon. The bunch of people that I've met are really great.. well most of them at least, though sometimes its real hard to conc on the tasks at hand when there's so many temptations around. I seriously am beginning to feel more cynical abt the residents in the hall. I know i shouldnt categorize and sterotype everybody juz because of a few black sheep but seriously, i havent felt tt pissed of in quite awhile. If u think ur so great, why not make suggestions instead of shooting ppl who do have the balls to make them? Oh wait, mayb u dont have them in the first place..saying that ur nt concerned at all just because ure a year 4... bullshit.. then what makes u so hyped up? and what gives u the right to influence the rest of the people? RAWR!!! It all boils down to selfish human nature in the end. To each his own. dammit really.. dammit.. Its because of just those few ppl that now those sincerly(i tink) trying to change the hall are getting so freaking little sleep. seriously.. hai... well, my bad temper's coming back.. i can just feel it. Now running for VP. I hope i would be able to contain myself on forum. But i do foresee that alot of qns will be flying my way. Hope i ans them as tactfully as possible while at the same time putting across the message tt dun fuck arnd with me and my committee. Sry.. angsty, emo and lack of sleep aint a very good combi for proper sentence structure nor civilised language. Another old song =) Recently I've been, Hopelessly reaching Out for this girl, Who's out of this world. Believe me. She's got a boyfriend He drives her round the bend Cos he's 23 He's in the marines He'd kill me For so many nights now I find myself thinking about her now. 'Cause obviously, She's out of my league But how can I win She keeps draggin' me in and I know I never will be good enough for her. No, no Never will be good enough for her. Gotta escape now Get on a plane now. yeah Off to L.A and that's where I'll stay, for two years. For cheating I'll put it behind mei'll put it behind me Go to a place where she cant find me. yeah. 'Cause obviously, She's out of my leeague, I'm wastin' my time 'Cause she'll never be mine I know i never will be good enough for her. No, no Never will be good enough for her She's outta my head And I never know where I stand Cos I know I'm not good enough for her He's good enough for her for her, for her . It's funny when you find yourself Looking from the outside I'm standing here but all I want Is to be over there Why did I let myself believe Miracles could happen Cause now I have to pretend That I don't really care I thought you were my fairytale A dream when I'm not sleeping A wish upon a star Thats coming true But everybody else could tell That I confused my feelings with the truth When there was me and you I swore I knew the melody That I heard you singing And when you smiled You made me feel Like I could sing along But then you went and changed the words Now my heart is empty I'm only left with used-to-be's Once upon a song Now I know your not a fairytale And dreams were meant for sleeping And wishes on a star Just don't come true Cause now even I tell That I confused my feelings with the truth Cause I liked the view When there was me and you I can't believe that I could be so blind It's like you were floating While I was falling And I didn't mind Cause I liked the view Thought you felt it too When there was me and you Damn nice lyrics of a damn nice song... . Hi all, first post from my new laptop! Woohoo!... hahah... finally got it after a painful wait of 2 weeks... exclusion from the cyberworld wasnt fun.. hee.. well found my mp3 last week too so yea.. another cause to celebrate... so cheryl and pots.. dun need the mp3 for 23 oct alrd.. =p Speaking of which, I haven written my wishlist yet nor booked the place.. hmm... but i've been so bzy... i mean really... slept at like 630 and woke up at 730 for one day tis week... if i dun catch up on my work tis weekend, i'll be majorly screwed.. hahah.. okok... shall end here.. ciao! . Just back from yet another 6 Shots outing. T'was good having HTHT and COT. Had buffet lunch with Mr Yan and gang in the afternoon. Went for coffee after that and I dozed off. Feel quite bad. But I think the late nights are getting to me.. slowly but surely.. I think I still have the emotional maturity of an adolescence. I have commital issues. I'm flikle. I often ridicule others for being blind to others feelings and yet I'm one of the blind. Cant there be a How-To book on BGR? It'll be so much simpler. But that will take the suspense and fun out of stuff. But it'll be easier. I tink it'll be much easier if i just commit myself to celebacy. I'm emo-ing again. Dammit. I hate my emo self. I really do. But its a side i just cant be rid off. Chances come and chances go.. has one opportunity just slipped by? Once again its abt the things that weren't said and the wrong things said at the wrong time. Life a huge mofo of an irony. Cynically Yours Desmond . The first official week of school started off pretty ok. Had a boring orientation on the first day. Went zouk for joint hall bash at night. I must say that it was one of the more enjoyable clubbing experience for me, tho the girls from my hall were a little, lethargic. Which brings out the question, is being a goody two shoes party pooper really where i should be heading to? Had a 4 hr lecture on tue and wed came with no classes and met becka for lunch and dinner. It was a good catch up. Went to mambo with Martin and saw alot of ppl I knew there. Went out with XH on thurs for a movie since we both din have lessons. Well I had quite a good time talking with her and all. Honestly I'm hesitant now. I dont know how she feels or for that matter how I feel. In addition I dont want to rush things too cause from experience, its a bad thing. Do I really like her or do I just feel pressure? Headache... Went round island supper after tt. Had alot of fun pigging out and singing on the bus. Fri came and had my first seminar. 1 word. Bad. I din understand anything at all. Din have the text, din have the financial calculator, the notes were flawed. crap. die la. I'm stuck in inertia for alot of things. Help me pls............... . This may sound crazy It probably is but could you tell me where true love is just point me in the right direction i swear i wont make a sound i'm looking for a neon sign it's what i haven't found they say it's gone south where all the good things go you'll see the flashing lights and you know you're home And there's no fancy name for it No one knows who Aphrodite is It's only rain and rainbows and the promise of bliss But when i get there It just is I believe in love but it's probably not for me romance, the chase, the attractive enigma it's not me I thought I was there before but my heart got broken you see I heard it's not easy but you'll know you're home And there's no fancy name for it No one knows who Aphrodite is It's only rain and rainbows and the promise of bliss But when i get there It just is All these questions I gotta ask before i go If I'll never find it will you let me know? And there's no fancy name for it No one knows who Aphrodite is It's only rain and rainbows and the promise of bliss But when i get there It just is Damn... I'm emo-ing agn.... . My perpetual lethargicity is bugging me. I have no motivation nor the energy to do anything. I've yet to recover from NBS FOC and tt is surprisingly long considering the fact tt i used to be able to do camps B2B. I hope its just my sedentary lifestyle tt i'm just too used to and not some underlying medical problem. I desperately want to blog abt NBS FOC. I shall show a few snippets la to appease chubbo =p Ok pictures speak a thousand words... so here goes   Field games on the first day, reminds me of ODAC initiation =p  The famous Nanyang lake, was doing thread water btw..  Shirt changing game. the girls won, so you all can strip faster den us eh? =p  6 Shots! The elite of NBS =)  All Hail the King Bapok!  Scandal.. haha... no la.. i'm straight  A random photo that i look retarded in. Then again, we did alot of retarded things during the camp which were fun. I'm really gonna miss NBS FOC and 6 SHOTS. No worries, lots of outings, suppers and gatherings await i hope. Well, shall up date more in detail when I have more energy. Hee Ciao all! . Hi blog, its been awhile. My medical's done and signed the deed today. Went back to VJ too, only to learn tt it was e-learning day. Just great. The drink stall auntie still recognizes me. Haha. Met XH for movie and dinner. I should really take it slow. ok my thoughts are broken and fragmented due to the fact tt I'm highly sleep deprived. Shall blog again when I'm satisfied of my sleep deficit. Or shall I not? hmm.. till then, tatas! Desmond signing off. . . . The surerities went through. Time for the medical(I hate blood tests)... the Lord will provide. . He got me to it and He got me through it. Thank you Lord, and thank you all for your constant prayers. Now its maintaining the standards tt would be a little of a biggie. 1st class honours or lowest 2nd upper. Well, I know too that He will guide me through tt as well. Cant wait for my job to end. I'm seriously not liking it at all. Oh well. 7 more days to ORD. . The interview's finally over. IT was surprisingly short and painless. Too short to be painful to be exact. Dont really know what to feel about it. I guess I just have to leave it in His hands. Pray for me ppl! =) On another note, I tink Mr Yeo is a super friendly guy. He seems much smaller in real-life than what the papers portray him to be. Oh well, guess its psychological. Had quite a horrid night last night. Oh well, wont be repeating that anytime soon. Met with Jerome and Alfred for a supposed Kushinbo treat today but we arrived too late. Shall be postponed to next sat then. I cant wait!*drools* Sun tml, which means tuition. Off to sleep to wake up early to prep the kid's stuff. Oh well. Nite all! . Been a while since my last post.. been coming home daily and crashing into bed only to wake at unearthly hours to prep for interview questions that I've come out with myself. I'm honestly feeling the strain. Lord, carry me. On a brighter note, I got praised by a customer for being honest today. Haha.. He was so impressed that he wants to give me a job in his company. Coolness.. Cheryl Deliah Lio Shu Yi, UR NOT FAT la... u wanna see what is fat?    So girl.. ur not fat la.. stop being so negative abt urself. =) . Its 2.30 in the morning, and I cant get to sleep. Haha.. must be the shot of nicotine after a 60 hr absence(whoops =p). And what am I doing? I'm blogging.. haha.. Firstly, thank you Lord, for the prayers that you have answered, for the blessings throughout my life, for my successes and the comfort during my failures. For being my strength when I'm weak and for loving me.. for me. I like to thank You for a dear friend's happiness. I really really thank You for answering that prayer for me. She's happy now. Keep her that way Lord and I know that You'll hear my prayer like You always to. Also, I pray for the strength to move on finally now that my mission in her life is done, to touch another's heart and make someone else's day better. I know you have someone out there planned just for me, and I can hardly wait. Surprise me Lord! =) The scholarship interview's coming up real soon and I havent preped anything yet. Help me chuck aside procratination as well as other bad habits this yr as I start things afresh. Thank you everybody, who has been there through my ups and downs. For all your comfort through trying times and all your laughter and companionship through good ones. I'm happy that I've kept a promise made to myself. And I'm happy for you Cheryl. I'm not sorry that I met you or for loving you these past few months. You touched me in a special way, really, and you taught me how to love someone again. I remember you asking me what's the difference between infatuation and love. I have the answer now. Though not describable in words, I think I got the rough idea. hee. I'm renewed and alright now =). So the next we meet, lets start anew and put all pasts hurts and awkwardness behind alright? I cant lose you as a friend. =). Hi, I'm Desmond, you are? Beck, I pray that you find your happiness as well and the confusion you're facing clears. Thank you so much really. With that, my eyes can shut and a peaceful but a short night of rest awaits. I don't know what's in stored tomorrow but I know that a huge load has been lifted off my chest and I'm relieved. Emo songs have lost their kick trayc =) I rest in you Jesus.. Desmond is back and better =) . Good thing I'm a fast learner. Thanks Beka.. anyway, the interview's changed to next fri and the chair of the interview is none other than Mr Philip Yeo himself. Honestly, the prospect of facing him is not a very appealing one.. cause of his stature, his achievement. I don't know its a sense of awe. I thus ask for the prayers of many.. cuz i tink I'll be scared shitless.. haha . I'm learning to smile again =) . I'm glad that you've found him, the right one for you. Its definately a sense of loss for me but I'd be better after awhile. As I keep telling others if this is the shittiest point of your life then things can only get better, if its not the shittiest point then what's the use of fretting? Now I tell myself this. You're the wind and I'm just a net. I sway under your influence but catching you is something that I'll never be able to do. Thank you, for your presence in my life. Thank you for being my object of affection for the past few months. Thank you for being my friend. Be happy Cheryl. =) Desmond Signing off for a long hiatus. Your fingertips across my skin, the palm trees swaying in the wind images You sang me spanish lullabies, the sweetest sadness in your eyes clever trick I'd never want to see you unhappy, I thought you'd want the same for me Goodbye my almost lover Goodbye my hopeless dream I'm trying not to think about you Can't you just let me be? So long my luckless romance My back is turned on you I should have known you'd bring me heartache, almost lovers always do We walked along a crowded street You took my hand and danced with me images And when you left you kissed my lips you told me you would never ever forget these images, no I'd never want to see you unhappy I thought you'd want the same for me Goodbye my almost lover Goodbye my hopeless dream I'm trying not to think about you Can't you just let me be? So long my luckless romance My back is turned on you I should have known you'd bring me heartache, almost lovers always do I cannot go to the ocean I cannot drive the streets at night I cannot wake up in the morning without you on my mind So you're gone and i'm haunted and i'll bet you are just fine, Did i make it that easy to walk right in and out of my life? Goodbye my almost lover Goodbye my hopeless dream I'm trying not to think about you Can't you just let me be? So long my luckless romance My back is turned on you I should have known you'd bring me heartache, almost lovers always do . It was a great party.. everybody enjoyed themselves.. birthdays arent that bad afterall rite? I hope that some of the hopes you were having were fulfilled and that you carry on with life from this point onwards with no more regrets. Enjoy the rest of your birthday and keep smiling.. my wish for you from the start was to be happy.. always been, always will be.. stay happy ok? I love you. Lord, bless this daughter of yours and guide her in her life. Let her not be jaded or afraid to love once more. Let her find happiness and peace in her life as well as her family life. Let whatever her hand touches or what she sets out to do prosper so that she can be a greater blessing to those around her than she already is. Most importantly Lord, grant her happiness..real lasting blissful happiness. Thank You Father. In Jesus's most precious name I pray, Amen. . I'm glad you . The irony of life... seriously... . ITs wierd really... I'm smiling in the face of "adversity"... and I wonder why's that... =)... It'll be great! =) I was stalked this morning... and i must say that it wasnt a pleasant experience.. hope i dun meet the same guy tml.. tsk... It can be done It can be done It can be done It can be done It can be done It can be done It can be done It can be done It can be done It can be done It can be done It can be done It can be done It can be done It can be done It can be done It can be done It can be done It can be done It can be done It can be done It can be done It can be done It can be done It can be done It can be done It can be done It can be done It can be done It can be done It can be done It can be done It can be done It can be done It can be done It can be doneIt can be done It can be done It can be done It can be done It can be done It can be done It can be done.... Bt i should have started a loooooong time ago... bt noooooo... tu la.. DESMOND TAY CHEE MING... WAKE UP LA!!! keep this up and procratination's gonna get the better of me one day... Oh well... I still believe... it can be done... =) . Its 40 % done... the other 60% would need some serious time-management skills, something which i tink i sorely lack.. and the remainding parts are the ones that are harder.. BUT I know it'll be fun=)... it always is when you're doing something for _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _. Welcome back home tml. =) . Crap.. I'm almost out of time... AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! . We were as one, babe For a moment in time And it seemed everlasting That you would always be mine Now you want to be free, yeah So I'm letting you fly 'cause I know in my heart, babe Our love will never die, no You'll always be a part of me I'm part of you indefinitely Girl, don't you know you can't escape me Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby And we'll linger on Time can't erase a feeling this strong No way, you're never gonna shake me Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby I ain't gonna cry, no And I won't beg you to stay If you're determined to leave, girl I will not stand in your way But inevitably, You'll be back again 'Cause you know in your heart, babe Our love will never end, no You'll always be a part of me I'm part of you indefinitely Girl, don't you know you can't escape me Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby And we'll linger on Time can't erase a feeling this strong No way, you're never gonna shake me Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby I know that you'll be back, girl When your days and your nights get a little bit colder, oh, oh I know that you'll be right back, baby Oh baby, believe me, it's only a matter of time You'll always be a part of me I'm part of you indefinitely Girl, don't you know you can't escape me Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby And we'll linger on Time can't erase a feeling this strong No way, you're never gonna shake me Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my, my baby (You'll always be a part of me) You will always be (I'm part of you indefinitely (Girl, don't you know you can't escape me) Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby (And we'll linger on) We will linger on (Time can't erase a feeling this strong (No way, you're never gonna shake me (Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby) Always be my baby... Super nice song doncha think? Sry beka... plagerised from your blog... hahaha.. Hmm.. had an unsual but wonderful day today. Took a bus in the morning to Serangoon and PHWA! The station was jam packed with commuters. Some train delay. Was nearly late for work again despite waking up early. Caught up on a lil sleep during lunch. At 1.45, i received a call from SPRING Singapore telling me that I'd been short-listed for a second round of the interview for their scholarship which was to be held at 2.30. They had a coms error.. lol.. it really was a pleasant surprise.. I had given up all hope of getting to the second round of interview.SO i cabbed down. This shows that even if i'm not faithful, He will not be unfaithful for His Name's sake. Thank you Jesus =) Tml I have to go for a psychometric test which i missed this morn. Pray for me! =) Hey, take care in camp. Hope ur blisters are healing. Remember!! change ur dressing ok? Esp after washing toilet. Dun let it get infected. Guide Nick along too if its not too much of a hassle.. he's a real nice guy =).. haha..yep.. might drop in on thurs. Will message to ask for requests for welfare if i'm going in. Yep. God bless! Sleeping early. Nite world. T'was a good day.. hope it was for you too =) My life has returned to normalcy.. i think.. thank You.. . Take me back to the times when things were simplier and easier won't You? I'm tired... Carry me... . Went to Symphony of Voices last night. I must say that the VJ choir is real good. Now i know why the're world 4th. Haha.. came home late---> Slept late---> was sleepy the whole day today. That's real bad for a telemarketer, to be partially falling asleep when you're supposed to be extremely enthusiastic about the product you are marketing. Worked OT which gives me 1 hour off from work in the morning. That's good cause I need all the time in the world now to prep for the scholarship interview this fri. Thank God for Alvin and Anna for their prayers yesterday. Pls pray for me if you're reading this. For wisdom and wit to impress the interviewers. To say the right things at the right time. For courage and strength. And for the extreme and undeserved favour of out Saviour. Cheryl, you've been experiencing brokeness for God knows how long. Now perfection has come along. Don't feel unworthy. Cause you are not. If you'd only take time to look at yourself clearly, your beautiful, witty and absolutely amazing. Many others if placed under the same situations as you would have cracked long ago. You're still holding up and I know that you'll continue to hold up and that says a lot about you. And in fact, the shittier the things someone has gone through, the better they deserve anything at all. So you definately deserve the best this life and what our Lord has to give. Remember, if we who are sinners know how to give good things to our children, how much more our Father in Heaven will shower us with blessings. Furthermore, he has already given us His only begotten Son, whom he so loved and delighted in. So what is this to Him that He won't give it to you? Learn to accept the good gifts from our Lord and stop feeling unworthy, cause you're not! Chin up now and go for it girl! =) And if you're still feeling condemned, a daily devotional for you... John 8:11 11… “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.” Imagine you were there at the temple when the woman caught in adultery was brought before Jesus by the scribes and Pharisees. Would you have expected Jesus to condemn her for her sin? Maybe you would have been surprised to hear Him say, “He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first.” (John 8:7) After all, she was caught in the very act of adultery. Jesus, the only one in the crowd who truly had the power to condemn her would not. If you had eavesdropped on their conversation after the crowd had left, you would have heard Him ask her, “Woman… Has no one condemned you?” (John 8:10) He spoke such words of grace to her because He loved her. Also, by asking her the question, He was giving her a chance to speak words of no condemnation to herself — “No one [condemns me], Lord.” (John 8:11) Jesus not only spoke words of grace to her, He also gave her the gift of no condemnation — “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.” Could He do that? She did commit a serious sin. Had God gone soft on sin and compromised His holy standards? Of course not! Jesus could say that to her because He knew that He would be punished for her sins on the cross. He was therefore able to give her the gift of no condemnation. Today, you have the gift of no condemnation because the Son of God was condemned for all your sins. (Romans 8:1) God cannot condemn you when you sin because He is faithful and just to what His Son has done. But we still find people saying, “Go and sin no more first, and then I won’t condemn you.” But God says, “I don’t condemn you. Go and sin no more.” God gives you the gift of no condemnation, so that you will have the strength to go and sin no more Now back to preparations for scholarship interview. Lord, strength and blessing pls =) . Missed service today.. forgot that it was combined.. haha.. oh well, curled up in my bed and wrote out what i wanted to blog, so I'm transcribing it now. Wanted to blog last night/early this morning but was too tired to think straight after watching Doomsday online. I promptly retreated to the sanctuary of my room to retire after that. Before I slept however, there was a huge clap of thunder and the heavens opened up its floodgates. I can't describe in writing how soothing and calming it is to me to just stare out into the dark morning, watching the rain fall to the ground under the orange glow of the street lamps, appreciating the silence, save the pitter-patter of the rain and the howling wind, and the intermitten flashes of lightning and claps of thunder. Actually looking back, alot of the most memorable moments in my life occured after mornings like this. Poured the night before I entered RI. Poured the night before I entered VJ. Poured the night I was missing PS when she was overseas. I think these mornings signify a new phase of my lige. That big change is going to happen soon. Especially when it has been blooming hot these past few days then suddenly, BAM! It rained, and just before I went to bed somemoe. But sometimes change can be difficult. 2008 has really been a mix of good and not so good times so far. More than my past few years put together in fact. Started the year pissed off at a gal at a NYE cum friend's 21st birthday party and with a hangover. Then joined Camp HA shortly after that, met fabulous people, left Camp HA, joined AMEX, had a hair fashion show, and now, an upcoming Scholarship Interview with SPRING Singapore, of which I really need the Lord Jesus with me on this. I've also learnt so much from New Creation Church and that is extremely liberating. Words of thanks to all who have been in my life so far this year: Kelvin Thanks for being there for me when I needed a friend. I guess being a part of ODAC and Camp HA has really made us 2 bond quite well. Thanks for intoducing the camp job. It really enriched my life. I hope that when uni starts and all, meet ups would still take place frequently.=) Jerome,Alfred Now that we are colleagues, meeting up's no problem. But when we each go our seperate ways, lets have freq gathering's at CK's ya? =) CK We're going to be roomies for the next 4 yrs, Lets not irritate the life out of each other k? Haha, you bring the fridge, I bring the booze =p Jeremy Study well in at med school in Aussie. Take it from me, don't party too much!! ODAC peeps Our meetings have lessened considerably, hope that we can catch up more at geok's birthday this sat! Harold, MingZ and Gene, Bros, we're all going our seperate ways soon. Mingz is alrd in aussie. Harold bro, soon cambridge(and blond chicks) await you. Gene ur heading to SMU. Lets all keep in contact via facebook/some other ways k? And Harold remb, I DO NOT WANT a spastic godson.daughter! whahaha. Pri School People Haha, the facebook grp is cool. So wierd I lost contact with all of you only till recently. Meet up!! Rebecca My kindergarden cum P1 classmate. Its so good to get to contact you again after so long. Thanks for taking some of my emo-ness and thanks for the 2 suppers and the visit to Shalom. Haha. Eh supper again one of these days. My treat!. And pls take care of your health. Mob Wars is addictive =( Tracy Eh the firl with the beautiful gift of listening, thank you. Seriously. For being there. You and Kelvin are really God sent. Don't know what I would have done without you 2 that time. And all the best to you and to Marcus (rite?) =p Russell Working with you was awesome. We really share the same freq. Like me, you've exited the camp scene. So I'll jio you for Mambo one day to meet up! You can teach me the moves.. hahah Potato Bro, thanks for the advices you've been giving me, Thanks for the wonderful company during those hard times. thanks for making me fat.. haha.. thanks for taking shit from me. Thanks for being my reflection, so I can see things clearly now. We should really heed the advices we have been giving each other don't you think? Brewerkz real soon ya? =) Nat Zephyr Claire Ahmad Thanks for the great times during camps. It was real great working with yall. Cheryl The girl that has been on my mind every single day for the past 4 months plus. Though in writing, 4 months seems pretty short, but when you're actually living through it, its excruciatingly long. From Fu Hwa, all the way up till now, it has really been a roller coaster ride. I've hit the highest of highs and have been smacked into the abyss of despair. That is the point, however, of roller coaster rides. It makes the ride exciting and fun. Was looking through some of the old conversations we had on MSN, they really put a smile on my face. Every single thing i do each day, I am reminded of you. If you suddenly find my post getting kinda random, that's because it is. I'm just typing bits and pieces of thoughts to delay what I should, no, what I must say. You have made me discover so much, both about myself and those around me.I'm really thankful for that. I know now that inside, I'm fragile. I know now that I have an inferiority complex at times. I know now which friends are true and which are fair-weathered. Most importantly, I know now that to love someone, sometimes the best thing you can do for her is to let her go. And I'll be letting you go now my dear,for you are at the cross-roads of your life right now as I am. You have also began to find happiness, and that alone is reason for me to back off. So go! be free to love and from the bottom of my heart, I wish you the best! =) In fact, I'm really happy for you. You've decided to heed the Lord's sign to quit smoking. Well its the start of something new right? =). Don't worry, I'll still be sticking around like I promised. I still love you and care for you, but I'll try to make it platonic now. And finally, some advice, not all guys out there have right intentions or motives. There are pick up artistes and their techniques are extremely subtle. So pls choose wisely aye? I wouldnt forgive myself if you got hurt in any way. Yep. God bless girl! Verbal diarrhoea completed! =) . I'm considerably cheered today. Words of encouragement of someone important can do wonders. More so the grace of Jesus that lavished so much blessings onto me today. 2 submissions and a few more pending for tomorrow and fri, dispelling of lethargicity, and the opportunity for the scholarship interview. Thank You so much. I know that sometimes (in fact a lot of times) I grumble and complain and yet You still love me. May you let me start to derive my joy from You and no one else. Went to jog and do static exercises just now. Shack sia.. got to train up soon. Hey, take care when you're in Kota Tinggi k? Look after the campers and look after yourself as well. If you do remember to bring your passport, and forget to bring the salt, lighters work wonders against leeches as well. Just don't burn your own leg. Haha. Have lots of fun there and stay safe and happy. God bless! . Work sucks... I've really tried... Its simply impossible... . I fear that I will always be, A lonely number like root 3 A 3 is all that's good and right, Why must my 3 keep out of sight, Beneath the vicious square root sign? I wish instead I were a 9 For 9 could thwart this evil trick With just some quick arithmetic I know I'll never see the sun, As 1.7321. Such is my reality, A sad irrationality When hark! What's this I see? Another square root of a 3. Just quietly come waltzing by Together now we multiply To form a number we prefer Rejoicing as an integer. We break free from out mortal bonds, And with the wave of magic wands, Our square root signs become ungood, And love for me is renewed. -Kumar Bloody good. If only I could come out with such stuff. I guess we are all looking for love aren't we? May everybody find it, while not forgeting the fact that it was the Big Man up there who first loved us. Night all! Had quite a crappy day today... I can't believe that I could actually sleep while canvassing customers over the phone. Nice one.. and to add-on to the pains i alrd have, my bank account's hurting cause I had to return the excess the company paid me... 436 freaking bucks... OWWWWWWW... looks like the question of eating into my savings is no longer an if, but a when... dammit... hope camp pay comes in asap.. bt i wouldnt count on it... Its a grass diet again for me for the rest of the month. But its ok... the Lord will provide.. i'm sure of it! =) Harold and Kumar Time!!! =) Hey, hope you had a great day. If yall are camping outdoors near the falls, and if ur bag has space, bring a packet of nata-de-coco. Cool it in the falls by putting rocks on it. After its cool, shiokness awaits. Yep.. Rest well now.. and its so nice to see that your posts seem happier. Stay that way=).. God bless! . Stayed the night out last night. It was a... refreshing experience.. enjoyed the company.. Went to give tuition immediately after that.. survived on a can of Redbull.. hahah.. well, I'm off to bed soon. Tired, in every single aspect. 雨 不停落下来 花 怎么都不开 尽管我细心灌溉 你说不爱就不爱 我一个人 欣赏悲哀 爱 只剩下无奈 我 一直不愿再去猜 钢琴上黑键之间 永远都夹着空白 缺了一块 就不精采 紧紧相依的心如何 say goodbye 你比我清楚还要我说明白 爱太深会让人疯狂的勇敢 我用背叛自己 完成你的期盼 把手放开不问一句 say goodbye 当作最后一次对你的溺爱 冷冷清清淡淡今后都不管 只要你能愉快 心 有一句感慨 我 还能够跟谁对白 在你关上门之前 替我再回头看看 那些片段 还在不在 紧紧相依的心如何 say goodbye 你比我清楚还要我说明白 爱太深会让人疯狂的勇敢 我用背叛自己 完成你的期盼 把手放开不问一句 say goodbye 当作最后一次对你的溺爱 冷冷清清淡淡今后都不管 只要你能愉快 紧紧相依的心如何 say goodbye 你比我清楚还要我说明白 爱太深会让人疯狂的勇敢 我用背叛自己 完成你的期盼 把手放开不问一句 say goodbye 当作最后一次对你的溺爱 冷冷清清淡淡今后都不管 只要你能愉快 当作最后一次对你的溺爱,只要你能愉快 My final gambit... . Dammit.. i'm running out of time... Spent a good part of the day sleeping. Woke up and watched forbidden kingdom. Not a bad show i must say. And Liu Yi Fei is soooo pretty =) Went out to town and window shopped, ate british snacks and basically had a good chat with her. I think I'm more comfortable since that night's talk. Thank you, for everything. Your new hairstyle's a little weird but I think i've gotten used to it alrd. Haha.. well, regardless of what people think, if think you are beautiful, you are beautiful.. and i think so as well=) Headed to downtown east for Yue Xing's birthday "celebration". Felt a little un-welcomed. Headed to arcade where potato won a huge bag of sweets and 2 pillows which are languishing in my room now, ready to be returned to the owner tml. Raced with Hor heh and her, so totally got trashed.. lao kui.. hahaha Alrighty, works in a few hours time, got to get some shut eye. Pray for me to have good sales tml =p Hey you, get some sleep k? rest well this week in preparation for next week. Its back to camps again for you. I know you're a strong gal(physically and mentally), but sleep deficiency still would weaken ur immune system. And summore, u do want to outshine pots rite?(sry bro =p).. haha.. u'll need all the energy you can get. So screw the air-stewardess(not literally) and sleep tonight k? Hope you are having fun out with pots and the gang now=). Sleep sweet and God bless! . A brief respite from calling and targets tomorrow and the option of waking late. Shiokness.. Its the little things in life that actually makes people the most happy. Went for dinner with Alfred, Jerome and Kelvin. Watched Iron Man after that. Really liked the character who played as Iron Man. I think its quite a cool personality to have. I would recommend the movie definately. 3.5-4 stars out of 5 Headed back to Pasir Ris and had supper with my Pots. Satisfying man... absolutely... Its real great to have friends who live nearby, and who can click so well.. Thank God.. However, its quite detrimental to the waistline =p Felt real good at work today though with the lousy amount of emails sent out. Had 3 submissions tho, a new record for me in one day. Thank God for that and also for ironing out an doubts last night as well =) Stomach stopped being queasy this afternoon. I'm back to being able to eat unhealthy stuff agn.. hahaha. And scholarship application's out of the way so that's one less worry. Hey you take care alrite? Hope that time and God can heal the wounds that no one else can. I'll be here should you need me =) Alrite, tml's got to be a productive day, so till then, ciao all Beauty queen of only eighteen She had some trouble with herself He was always there to help her She always belonged to someone else I drove for miles and miles And wound up at your door I've had you so many times but somehow I want more I don't mind spending everyday Out on your corner in the pouring rain Look for the girl with the broken smile Ask her if she wants to stay awhile And she will be loved And she will be loved Tap on my window, knock on my door I want to make you feel beautiful I know I tend to get so insecure It doesn't matter anymore It's not always rainbows and butterflies It's compromise that moves us along My heart is full and my door's always open You can come anytime you want I don't mind spending everyday Out on your corner in the pouring rain Look for the girl with the broken smile Ask her if she wants to stay awhile And she will be loved And she will be loved And she will be loved And she will be loved I know where you hide Alone in your car Know all of the things that make you who you are I know that goodbye means nothing at all Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls Tap on my window, knock on my door I want to make you feel beautiful I don't mind spending every day Out on your corner in the pouring rain, oh Look for the girl with the broken smile Ask her if she wants to stay awhile And she will be loved And she will be loved And she will be loved And she will be loved Please don't try so hard to say goodbye Please don't try so hard to say goodbye I don't mind spending everyday Out on your corner in the pouring rain Please don't try so hard to say goodbye . Haven taken MC in a long long while... oh well... bloody stomach.. The title says it all.. need i say more? My life is brilliant. My love is pure. I saw an angel. Of that I'm sure. She smiled at me on the subway. She was with another man. But I won't lose no sleep on that, 'Cause I've got a plan. (chorus) You're beautiful. You're beautiful. You're beautiful, it's true. I saw your face in a crowded place, And I don't know what to do, 'Cause Ill never be with you. Yeah, she caught my eye, As I walked on by. She could see from my face that I was, fucking high, And I don't think that I'll see her again, But we shared a moment that will last till the end. (chorus) You're beautiful. You're beautiful. You're beautiful it's true I saw your face in a crowded place, And I don't know what to do, I will never be with you. (La-la-la-la, La-la-la-la, La-la-la-la, Laaah) You're beautiful. You're beautiful. You're beautiful, it's true. There must be an angel with a smile on her face, When she thought up that I should be with you. But it's time to face the truth, I will never be with you. Damn sweet song Well, I understand that pain is personal and sometimes words just get in the way. Reach out to those around you. Lean on them, that's what friends(and interests) are for afterall Don't keep bottling it up inside k? I wish you all the grace,peace,love and happiness this world can bring. God bless! . Hmm, was nicotine deficient to the point where my head hurt.. not good...but for my sake... its time to give up some habits. Work was ok today, tiring as usual but ok. Thank you Jesus for the calm admidst the storm within me. Great that you enjoyed yourself yest. And dun worry, i did not join yall for movie cause i was in service, was tired, was flat broke and had stuff to settle back hm. I'd still be sticking arnd =) . Its once again an unearthly hour. The deathly silence of the night has a rather, calming effect. Wouldn't it be great to be stuck in this moment, with silence all around, no expectations, no troubles to worry about(save an empty stomach), with my newly edited playlist blasting into my headphones, and my words. I actually think i'll be quite contented. Then again i'd probably wake tomorrow and crave for some other form of solace. The 2 cans of redbull i took in the day really works, I'm tired now but i cant sleep. Well, it has been a long week. Seriously, if this is work life, i'm so dreading the future. Mayb i'd be looking back at this post in 4 years time with a different perspective, but for now, i just resign myself to going through the motion. Had an off on mon, went to settle my uni medical and waited for a crap long time to see the doc. Waited for a good 2 hours to complete something that took 15 mins. Nicely done. On a slightly worrying note tho, my eyesight seems to have worsen. Think i have astic. Damn. Had western food at one of the canteens at NTU. 4 words, "Shi Cui De Lor!!!".. The food was crap, the populace eating there were crappy too. Guess the Cultural Revolution didn't really impart much culture on speaking a reasonable volumes. Headed to Jurong Point and changed my atm card to the debit card. Waited for a mother long time again for that too. I had initially planned to go scout for something but seriously all the waiting kinda wore me out. So went back to WS and slacked at the Macs while reading my book. That concluded my mon. Had work the next day. Hmm, what can i say about work. Well if I am someone who enjoys repeating the same thing over the phone for 100+ times in a day, running the risk of getting phone f-ed, chasing people for documents they had promised to send over earlier, talking to pompous asses who think that each second of their time earns them a million bucks or idiots who dont even want to give themselves an opportunity to experience something free, I can say that I'm having the most enjoyable time of my life at my work place. Sadly, none of the above falls under the list of things that I want to exp before I kick the bucket so yea.. guess you know how i feel about work. Oh, i must mention my colleagues too. Alfred and Jerome's fine. However I suspect the rest think that i'm quite anti-social cause i always sleep during lunch. Well, bite me then. To put the cherry on the cake, now theres a target to meet. I'm sooooo looking forward to work next week. Ok my brother just made my day. Knowing the dire straits i'm in, he gave me 50 bucks. Damn shiok la. Perks of being the younger sibling. Speaking of which, my finances are in a mess... so.. its scrimping and saving till my next pay comes in. But it'll still be scrimping and saving after that for various reasons =p. Went in for campfire yesterday. When i first stepped into the campsite and saw the instructors leading song session, I realised that i actually do miss doing camps. Guess its a case of out of sight, out of mind. Drove out to buy additional supper for the rest of the Instructors. Real nice talking to Leisha at the back seat. Thanks for the listening ear and sry if i was a nuclear pain in the ass.. whahaha... I also didnt know it would be that cold with the windows wound down at night. Good way to save petrol 6 yrs down the road when prices of fuel would be astronomical. It was nice to see the Instructors again, people like Ahmad, Nat, Patrick, Yugan, Wanda, Claire, Alfred and many many more. Had a good talk with Potato too. Bro, thanks for the advise and being there for me ya? Now its your time to have fun le. Enjoy ya? =). A lot of people asked about my hair too. Haha, buay ta han, so I went to have it cut extremely short today! And tt reminds me, updates on the show on Sun Reach Tony and Guy Accademy at 1.30. Made friends with quite a few models and chatted. Real nice knowing new people. One guy's surname was actually Savage. Cool eh? But the wait was terrible. Waited from 2-6, doing practically nothing. People were calling me Boy George the entire day cause of my makeup la. At 6 we proceeded to The Arts House. Real nice place, got a vintage colonial feel to the place, my favourtie kind of architecture. Some pics =)  When i just reached  After make up and styling  The Arts House interior. The place where i walked. Kinda like the feeling of multiple multiple camera flashes foing off in your face. =p  Some new friends that I made =) The experience was fun. I would do it again, tho i want it to be paid shoots la.. haha.. anybody got modelling lobang? =p Well, actually I still have some imput but that'll have to wait cause sleep beckons.. and not just beckons, its screaming for me. Hey, rest well you. Continue to stretch those aching muscles of yours. And if you can go do a little light exercise. It'll also help to remove the ache faster i swear. But keep it light.Yup. Next week no camps rite? Take this time to settle stuff that you need to settle and also of course to recharge for May! God bless you =) Night/morning world! . God's Coffee A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life. Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee. When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: "If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups... And then you began eyeing each other's cups. Now consider this: Life is the coffee; the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of Life we live. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided us." God brews the coffee, not the cups.......... Enjoy your coffee! "The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything." Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God. -Author Unknown Hope this can encourage you =) The hair show today was good.. except the waiting.. shall upload photos soon =) . Went to work with a huge hangover today... felt like crap, looked like crap... was crap...coupled with the lack of sleep... best freaking combi i tell you... did not have lunch or anything to eat for the entire day for fear of regurgitation, still do not have full control over my faculties now... Church tml and then the show.. hope i dont appear foolish.. Glad you're ok now..take care ok? Its been awhile since i've been such wasted, the mum's making alot of noise now.. fee; like puking, made chinese tea for remedee... i case ur wondering, i've typed this for alot of corrections alrd. First time in a long while, been a long time since i've drank till tis amt... feel like shit.. probably a reflection of what i feel inside... Pls dont end up like me... hope you arrive home safe.. God bless! . Work today was... exciting in a certain sort of way. Made 70 calls, total of 1 fax 2 emails and 1 snail mail... on a brighter side.. 1 sucessful applicant.. its a start i guess.. Went out for dinner... came home and watched tv and anime. Its back to work again tml... Somehow though there's chaos, doubt in the matters confronting me now, which requires extreme restraint, perserverence and all good virtues needed, I feel almost peaceful.. probably the work of a Greater Power...hope this fragile peace that has built up can last.. Glad you're recovered. Take this time to rest. God bless. Ciao all.. . Went to work today too early and got locked out.. damn... shall sleep in more tml... hope i dont turn up late! haha... Had my first experience calling today. Super nervous. Kept getting flustered esp during the closing deal part. Ah well, must go prac more. Hee. Need the cash... Don't know why i return home shack everyday, just doesnt make sense when compared to being an Instructor. Ah well.. probably something else aint the same anymore... Poor thing, take care of that fever. It's your body's way of telling you to take a break. You probably won't listen bt i'll just say it anyway, slp early for a change yea? Drink lots of water and remb to take ur medicine too! If only i could send chicken soup virutally.. haha..And i've not mentioned this before but thanks for the multiple multiple songs that you've sent me so far =).. At least I'm not that back-dated. Hee.. Meanwhile take care ok? Shall check on how you're doing tml =).. Hope you've recovered by then. God bless! With that, work beckons.. i love my job.. i love my job.. i love my job... i love my job... =p Regardless of whether i know what the lyrics mean, I think its a damn beautiful song playing on my blog now... . I dont know.. i really dont know...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If only these things were simpler =( Friend or foe... hmmmmmmmmmmm.... my over-reactive brain..... dammit . That's what i'll be going on. Hello solitude. Its been awhile.... I'm staring out into the night, Trying to hide the pain. I'm going to the place where love And feeling good don't ever cost a thing. And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain. I'm going home, Back to the place where I belong, And where your love has always been enough for me. I'm not running from. No, I think you got me all wrong. I don't regret this life I chose for me. But these places and these faces are getting old So I'm going home. Well I'm going home. The miles are getting longer, it seems, The closer I get to you. I've not always been the best man or friend for you. But your love, remains true. And I don't know why. You always seem to give me another try. So I'm going home, Back to the place where I belong, And where your love has always been enough for me. I'm not running from. No, I think you got me all wrong. I don't regret this life I chose for me. But these places and these faces are getting old. Be careful what you wish for, 'Cause you just might get it all. You just might get it all, And then some you don't want. Be careful what you wish for, 'Cause you just might get it all. You just might get it all, yeah. Oh, well I'm going home, Back to the place where I belong, And where your love has always been enough for me. I'm not running from. No, I think you got me all wrong. I don't regret this life I chose for me. But these places and these faces are getting old. I said these places and these faces are getting old. So I'm going home. I'm going home. I guess you were right all along. . . . Woke up this morning after 3 hours sleep and headed for tuition. Was so shack that i had to gulp down an entire can of Red Bull to sustain myself for the day. Reminds me of pre-campfire. Haha. Then while i was having tuition, my tutee's brother had his own tution too. My MSG best, pulled me to be introduced to the female teacher "-_-... So old still so playful.. lol... Headed to Suntec to slack at Macs till my service started. Was listening to emo songs. Humans are a funny bunch. Some smoke, drink and listen to emo songs when they're down. I'm one of them. It doesnt really help the situation(and its bad for health), and it feels worse after that(esp the emo song bit), but i guess it is a form of channelling one's unhappiness, in a self multilating sort of way. Went to Church feeling really shitty after listening to all the emo songs. During praise and worship, nothing could get in at all, nothing was flowing. During the service, i was listening, with a semi closed off heart. However, something touched me after the sevice, when they played Shout To the Lord. I guess the Lord knew what i was facing that i could not express out and He released me from it. Tears just streamed down and I felt refreshed. A lot of things i have to do in my life now. Deliberating if i should apply for a scholarship. Oh well. I just pray for strength, discernment and wisdom. I also pray for a sign for the right amount. Updates on my trip yesterday will come sometime soon. Have to hit the sack soon, work tml and a hopeful meeting of pals in the night. =). Something to look forward to. Glad you had a fun day today. =). Smile more, you look real beautiful when you smile, you really do. Meanwhile take care tml alrite? Hope you'll have an as enjoyable day tml like you did today. Holla if you need anything. Nite world. More than I could hope or dream of You have poured Your favour on me One day in the house of God is Better than a thousand days in the world So blessed, I can't contain it... So much, I've got to give it away, Your love taught me to live now... You are more than enough for me. Lord, You're more than enough for me Lord, You're more than enough for me A bell is a bell only if you ring it, and love, is only love if you give it. Well, thats a question that the most scientific minds on the planet would answer "yes" to without a skipping a heartbeat. However, those scientific minds wouldnt be even around if not for our Abba Father, who is the Creator of everything, had not created the earth and every living creature in it.( I welcome evolutionist to flame me, bt seriously, i dont really give a hoot, you keep your opinions and i keep mine) So, I believe that once our tents on earth break down, we will be transformed and transfigured just like Jesus was on the mountain when he was talking to Moses and Elijah, for we are the temples of the Holy Spirit and once anybody has accepted Christ as his/her own personal Lord and Saviour, paradise awaits. To me, it is not a question(now at least, though it used to be) of whether how many good deeds or how many sins you've avoided in your life which guarantees paradise, cause all men, since Adam abicated his right to reign on earth by eating the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, are prone to sin, and not one, not one is worthy of entering the kingdom by his/her own merit. But God sent His own Son to be sin for us, to be punished for all our sins, past present and future, so that we are the righteousness of God in Christ. That means that all our sins, all our unworthiness were punished on Him on the Cross, and we have now received unmeritted righteousness, mercy, grace and favour. So regardless of who you are, what you've done, what you've confessed or not confessed, if you're a believer, that place is a guarantee. Why the sudden expounding of truths? The mother of a friend, of a close friend has just passed. The closest experience to death that I experienced was the passing of my paternal grandmother when i was in Pri 3. I remember being at her wake and holding her fingers with my tiny fingers at that time, thinking that she'll respond, but obviously, she didnt. I also remembered that the gravity of the situation then did not sink in as I was still young and I did not even shed a tear when she was cremated. Looking back, I would have cried buckets if i were more matured then. My point is, I'm not good at condelences and it aint a time to start and I'm not going to try. For I know that my Father in Heaven is also the Lord of all comfort who comforts us in all our sorrows and ultimately, He will be the one, by His own divine means, that will comfort the grieving family. But I hope that this post can let you find the strength to counsel your friend(s) who is/are in need, as what's stated here IS THE TRUTH and I have absolutely no doubt about it, so He can work through you to comfort your friend(s).Be strong, for you understand them best, and are a pillar of support now. So take faith, and take heart, and know that He is there no matter what. All that being said, any other believers reading this pls offer your prayers for the family though you might not know them for "if one or more is gathered in My Name, I shall be there with them". Pray for their healing, that their grief will be alleviated in time, and that they will understand the knowledge that the Father has recalled His daughter to His side and they shall see her again. With that, work beckons. I'll cya all soon. . Just came back from first day of work. Feels like i've just done b2b camp. Crap. Even loading up on nicotine just now and the double shot espresso frap and the 'gao' coffee in the afternoon did little to alleviate my tiredness. Is this CWS? shit...feel a fever coming, and tml i'm gg in malaysia and in addition, the tuition kid's work aint prep-ed. Plus i've got 'homework' from the office in terms of familiarisation of the product. Procrastination's taken another portion of my life away agn. %^$%^&^&$%^@#$!#$!~$#$^%^. Better tune my body clock back to normal, or else next week will be hell, esp with 6 work days. Lord help me. On a brighter note, good thing the office is filled with seemingly friendly ppl, ready to help. Just dont drag me into the politics anytime soon. I'll snap. Glad the bottle came in handy. =).. Meanwhile rest well you. Take care of your throat too. And if i seemed anti social/chao bin/whatever you want to call my pathetic state, it was cause of the aforementioned reason. I'm sry. I was happy to see you once more bt just too tired to express it. Take care and have a great day tml at training as well as at the movies. God bless! For now its lala land for me, or else its the sick bed. Nite world. . Got the job at the telemarketing co. Will be busy from now on. Well i hope this will train me up for the stresses of uni life. No more fooling around. Hi world. Hope you had a good camp. Rest well when you're back k? Esp with the training and all on sat. Drink lots of water too. And all along I've been struggling so hard _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _, _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _, maybe all along I've been trying to do the impossible. Something only God can do and I'll pray for it everyday. . One night a man had a dream. He dreamt that he was walking along The beach with the LORD. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene he noticed two sets of Footprints in the sand: one belonging To him, and the other to the LORD. When the last scene of his life Flashed before him, He looked back at the footprints In the sand. He noticed that many times Along the path of his life There was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened At the very lowest and saddest times In his life. This really bothered him and he Questioned the LORD about it: "LORD, you said that once I decided to follow you, You'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most Troublesome times in my life, There were only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me." The LORD replied: "My child, my precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, When you saw only one set of footprints, It was then that I carried you." Dear all, I'll be going into seclusion for awhile. Read up on some stuff and build myself up so i'd be in a better position to encourage and strengthen those people that I care for and love. Take care at camp tml.. God is always with you. I'm sure of that. "Come to Me, all you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest, for My yoke is easy and light" God bless world.. and God bless you . You are my strength when I am weak You are the treasure that I seek You are my all in all Seeking you as a precious jewel Lord to give up I'd be a fool You are my all in all Taking my sin my cross my shame Rising again I bless your name You are my all in all When I fall down you pick me up When I am dry you fill my cup Youare my all in all Chorus: Jesus, lamb of God, worthy is your name, Jesus, lamb of God, worthy is your name. You are my strength when I am weak You are the treasure that I seek You are my all in all Seeking you as a precious jewel Lord to give up I'd be a fool You are my all in all Repeat Chorus x 3 ... worthy is your name My hope is for anyone who come across this post to take faith, and know that He is ever watching, ever loving, ever graceful. So if you're facing any problems, regardless how big or small, dedicate it to the Lord, have faith and you shall be redeemed =). God bless! . Well, was supposed to update this last night but was too tired. Just had a nicotine shot, mambo music's playing the background, the world's quiet = shiokness. Wonder if i can blog coherently tho. Messages of appreciation first. Becka, thanks for the timely email. I know this is overdue but ya.. thanksX1000000000000000.... I guess the Good Lord worked through you to give me an ans to my prayer. Second, Kelvin bro. Thanks for being there for me yest. I thought you just wanted to hang out that's all. Turns out(after reading your post) you wanted to see if i was doing ok. Frankly i'm dam touched by tt gesture. Thanks mate. =). Thirdly, Potato, for taking my shit when i felt shitty, and being there for me. Cheer up yourself k? We are always here for you should you need. Just holla and if i'm in the vicinity, wads a few bottles at our fav haunt so nearby our place ;). Well, lets start with going out with Kelv yest. Went to shop for his trek pants and he finally settled on one at suntec. We went to eat before that at this place at Standford House called Curry Favor. Some pics of that       The food and ambience was good. So was the company=) After that went to get the aforementioned trek pants and played arcade. There was this super addictive game there which i smartly blew 50 bucks on and later convinced myself that it was rigged. And saw this light pink thing too =) After that Kelvin left for home and i proceeded to Starbucks to prep my tuition work. There was this guy who was gaffaw-ing the whole way. Bloody irritating. Wanted to ask him to shut the hell up. But oh well, public area. People are entitled their rights. Mayb next time they should implement a laughing corner too? Left the place at 6 and took 36 to Nick's house. Dosed off when i boarded the bus. When i woke up at 7, i realised i was still in town!!! Best, The bus took a full hour to navigate through town. Its MRT for me next time when i'm rushing. Arrived at Nick's place about an hour late. -_-. They started the Chivas without me.. boo.. haha.. but it was real good seeing them again. Bro, finally you have ORD-ed, welcome to civilian life! Some pics of tt too (though alot are quite blurry)     The ORD boy, his improvised BBQ pit, drinks, his dog(reminds me of Baby) and fatty on a swing..lol Had my fill and headed back home. Chatted online. Glad you were well rested and ok. Went to sleep. Woke up this morning at 6. Suprisingly din really sleep as well as expected. Headed to tutee's place dressed for the beach. As i was taking my first stick at his void deck, a group of people were playing with kittens. Soooo cute i tell you. Their mewing is enough to make anyone go aww... so cuddly summore...  Finished tuition and headed out to meet Potato at PS cause tanning was cancelled. Lepak(correct spelling?) at PS Starbucks for awhile and then headed to... Brewerkz! =).   Had this brew called Singaporter and a jug came with 2 free glasses. Had bufflo wings and a glass of fruitbrewz to end off the session. Talked about the usual stuff. You seem fine now bro. I'm glad for you.. and I see that you're growing in your spiritual walk as well. Praise the Lord for that. May we always be there for each other should the need arises. Not just in troubled times but in good times as well aye? =) Headed home after that. Been using my torrent client to dl songs. Dam bloody slow... =(..Folks are going in Malaysia tml. That means me, myself and the 4 walls for the day. Ah well, i can live with that.. brief respite to Church in the evening and then its back home agn. And i think my room light is spoilt. Damn. Well, I'm pensive now. But i honestly don't know what to write.. hee.. shall end off. Maybe will blog morelater or when i wake.. or mayb i won't.. who knows? Life is as such, unpredictable, so don't regret the past or worry about the future. Which of you by doing that can hope to change anything? So live in the present, for the present, for the Lord is always there for you and there is no need for regrets or worries. Carpe Diem Goodbye for now! =) . Well, the title says it all. Woke up at 11 plus today after sleeping at 5am. Back to my sedantary lifestyle. Did not receive the call from the company. Hope i got the job tho. Will find out later on today. Wanted to go K Box originally but we decided not to go since it was alrd 3.30 when i met him. Bought movie tix for a 7.20 show at 6 bucks. It was really cheap. Headed to cine basement food court for lunner/dinch.. haha.. he ordered curry yong tau foo and i ordered kway chap. My kway chap was quite bland. Should have taken shots of the food tho. Headed to clarke quay to kill time before the movie and i brought potato to Brewerkz. Cant believe its his first time there. On the way there we saw this banner.  Haha bro, ur everywhere la. Bt one thing tho, dun be blue k?Tts just a banner. Must persevere =).. hope the email i sent you helped to refocus and renew ur faith in getting the gal. Finally reached Brewerkz. Had 1 Jug of golden ale, 1 jug of irish red ale and another jug og Koicher(or something like tt). The best one i must say still goes to the golden ale. Sitting there, chilling, looking at the river view and the nice architecture with the wind blowing, dam nice i tell you.. haha.. some pics  The Irish Red Ale  The man and I As we were drinking, 2 elderly men from the next table striked up a conversation with us. They were very friendly bt tho i think one of them was a little high. They were talking about Christianity and all. Tho i din agree to all that was said, some of it still made sense in a way.  The 2 friendly uncles Speaking of which, when we finally left Brewerkz, we were dam high as well. We were both laughing like crazy asses la. Reached cine, bought popcorn and went in for the movie. I freaking slept. This is the first time i've ever slept in a cinema. . Must be the effects of alc or cause i was dam tired also. Apparantly potato tried to wake me up thrice bt to no avail. haha. But thank God i'm not the kind tt gets angry or sad when they're high. I'm still slightly high now, probably cause i haven eaten anything yet all the way from afternoon. The familiar chirping of the birds breaks the silence of the night and signals the impending dawn. I am once again reminded to the lesson about birds and also the nostalgic feeling of the time when i would mug till dawn. God, I love you for all these wonders in life =) Makan time! . "In any case, if there's no more house, no more oceans, if compensation is stolen by others, and wife and son are gone, the sky that was supposed to fall, never fell. Life is like that. Nothing goes smoothly. But as you live on, you sometimes think that that Heaven has a purpose for everything." I've made my decision... though its gonna be hard.. though i know i have to start from scratch, i won't give up... like the birds, they keep rebuilding their nest, even in the face of insurmoutnable obstacles. And how much more i am than a bird. Who am i to despair? Who am i to give up when I have the backing and the blessings of the Most High God? Love hurts, no one ever said it won't. All these trials and falls, i've got to learn to pick myself up from them, no matter how many times it happens. I guess its a way of finding out if i truely do love you as i proclaim i do. And yes, I'm no longer afraid to use the word love, for i really think thats what it is now. I cant put my finger on it, but something feels different than from the first time i said that i was fond of you. I will learn to let go as well, if it happens, it happens. If you dont reply me, you don't. If we have disagreements, we have disagreements. If you go out with other guys,you go out with other guys, simple as that.If the time is right, no matter what you and i do or you and i say, it'll happen. I was blind to not to see that these were all part and parcel of a relationship or for that matter, a friendship. So my conclusion is that i'm walking back into your life, like it or not,(you told me not to give in to you always right? =p)Even if it does not bear fruit like the way i hope it does, at least we'll still be friends at the end of it all, friends that know each other quirks and innermost demons, friends that are hard to comeby. Yep. So with the sign that the Lord has given me, I march on forward once more. Come what may... "The Lord is my shepard, I shall not want" Remember i promised to tell you what i feel? Well this was what i felt. After you slammed down the phone on me tt night, i really wanted to just shout "FUCK IT". Cause firstly, i was a lil tipsy and wasnt able to grasp the situation fully. And secondly, I felt tt you were being unreasonable. How so? The only reason why i scolded potato tt night was because he betrayed my trust and not because he was spending alot of time with you etc. He is my friend too. Is it wrong for me to confide in him? I'm sure sometimes you do too. And of course to seem unaffected in anyway to not further put a strain on ur emotional state, i told him not to tell you. He went ahead anyway and coupled with my mood that night, the rest is history. I've talked to him abt it alrd and apologised for f-ing him that night. Received your message last night and i'm hesitant to reply. Probably you think i'm an emo bitch now bt somethings you said really hurt me ALOT. I forgive you, i really do, bt it gonna take a hell lot longer to forget. And i noticed, everytime i walk into your life, i cant help bt be drawn close to you. Tt leads to the eventuallity of you pulling back and us having this major stand off online. It was the same for the first time round, and the same this time round. Heck, you even used the same phrase tt made me wanna kill myself. And tt again leads to why i had to talk to someone else beside you that night(potato) or i'd just have exploded. Bt then again, i guess i did nt improve from the first time round either so my bad. I really dont know if what you said that night was just on the spur of the moment cause i was pressurising you too much or you really felt tt way. Bt that really felt like you taking everything i've done for you so far and slapping me in the face with it. I'm now terrified of grabbing onto the olive branch that you're extending to me. I know if i do, I will still like you and i'm afraid tt tt is going to push us away again. I'd be so bold as to say that i've caused you enough heartache and worry and if I'm afraid that i will continue to do so. Maybe you'll find me simplistic and naive, bt my desire is for you to be happy always. So once again, a war rages within me. My logical brain tells me to leave you alone so you can be happy tho it'll hurt like crazy to ignore you, my feeling heart tells me to go for it and screw the future consequences. I'm like totally ignoring what i've heard and learnt at church last Sun la. Not looking back at past regrets or looking forward to future worries. Evil child i am. Fuck i hate myself sometimes. I'm glad to know that you have fun when i'm not there. Mayb thats a sign i'm doing the right thing. Or mayb you're just bottling it up inside like you always do. I tink too much.. far too much for my own good. Twas supposed to be a conclusive post. Turns out i'm still undecided.. Wait for my reply... guess this will be the longest time i take to reply your sms. . The past few days have been traumatic to say the least. Well, had doug's 21st on sat. Hope you had a great one bro. My alc tolerance has dropped and that something to celebrate about. Hope my nicotine dependancy drops too. Felt dam stoned on Sun when i woke up. Was zombie-ing around till church. Thank God for the message and the resulting rejuvination. It was so directed to what i was and am facing now. Thank you Lord! Went out with Harold to have dinner and drinks at timbre. Thanks for being there with me Bro! =).. Oh for foodies out there, Timbre is having this real good offer on Sundays. 25 nett for a buffet and its quite a spread. Some pics of that   Went for a job interview today. Was ok hope they contact me with a favourable response on wed. Even if they don't i guess i wont be doing camps anymore. Yep, so for my fellow Instructors who are reading this, it has been real fun working with you ppl. I've learnt alot and have grown alot too. Continue to inspire the young of our generation onwards with your undying enthusiasm and spirit(tho bitching at night is commonplace=p). I shall miss you all. But the time has come for me to move on in all aspects of the word. We still can meet up for makan sessions and all tho =) Spent my time after interview at Starbucks. Had one Venti Caramel Frap  Then a chocolaty cupcake and a Tall Espresso Frap  I'm glad that you've planned out your life all the way till June. I hope everything works out for you, I really do. Wrote something down at Starbucks. Hope its readable  So this is goodbye for real I guess. Take care of yourself ok? You have a great group of friends by your side. Lean on them for support when the world feels heavy. Don't shoulder everything on your own. Its pretty detrimental to all faculties. With that its goodbye and farewell. God bless you gal! . I'm sufficiently high on alc... bt not a strand of gladness is in me... i'll give you space if tts what you want cya . Although i don't know what's going on but I do hope you're alright.I seriously hope that i'm not partially the cause or THE cause of way you're feeling now. Talk to me abt it if you want but if you don't, I'll respect that too. Pls take care and cheer up ok? things can only get better, it always does. Might be stopping work as an Instructor too, see how that goes. Ciao all . Had my fill of bites and lack of facilities. I need a break I'm a presumptious ass.... i'm sry... i think too much Night all . Broke camp yest. Was quite a cui camp in my opinion, but oh well, you win some, you lose some. had my fill of mosquito and ant bites and nicotine deprivation(nt too much of this thanks to yugan). It was a good experience tho, at least now i've done st john's island. Met the JBAC side peeps for lunch after tt. It felt real good to see you agn =). Too bad you had a shitty camp. Take care of ur eye infection ok? And pls clear ur bowels. Nt good to keep it for too long. Took 88 and 39 hm. Once i got home, bathed, checked my email i crashed into bed at around 6pm. Woke up today at around 9. K.O-ed for like 15 hrs!!! Still feel tired tho. Hai Good Friday today. The day when the Lord got crucified exactly 2008 years ago. Lord, I thank you for the great and ultimate sacrifice you made for me and the entire world that day. I know now I am clean and blessed no matter how many times i fall and its all because of your sacrifice. Lord I thank you for health, for having food on the table, for having money in the bank, for having a roof over my head, for having wonderful friends. Lord, I pray that the rest of 2008 would be as fruitful and exciting as i embark on the next phase of my life in university. Speaking of which, Lord, pls be with Cheryl and let her not worry about her application hiccup for NIE. Help her resolve this issue and give the person(s) attending to her the compassion and understanding so that she does not have to wait another entire year before she is able to take her course. I know You've always heard my prayers and this is no different. May Your will be done. Amen Anybody reading this post pls pray for her too ok? Thank you all. And oh, did nt manage to create an archive(i don't know why) bt i managed to expand my posting list all the way to my first post. Yes yes, friends that i just got to know can go ahead and laugh at my childisness back then. Hope it provides comic relief! And as i was scrolling through the posts, i realised that i've changed quite a bit too.. well i'll leave tt all for yall to comment.Cya! . Off to SJI for the nxt 3 D and 2N... i guess i'll miss you the most while i'm there. Take care over at JBAC k? Tty real soon=).. ciao world . Back from b2b camps agn.. din really have the energy to blog bt ya... the first camp was crap and the second was absolutely fabulous. Hurricane rocks... sry kelvin.. had to rip it off from ya... whahah...its like another bukit view lor.. pwr.. loved my grp tho they were quiet at times =) second best camp so far... and the comments have been like... wah... flooding my friendster.. heh You have no idea how much those words meant to me. You just made every single effort and dime worth a hundred times more. So ya.. take your time.. no pressure.. I'll keep waiting =) I'll keep waiting Till that day when You come back come home to me Life's too short to live without you Where you are is where I wanna be -S Club 7 . The sleep of a man of toil is sweet.. yea balls... totally agree with it... came back yest from Fajar Sec and Bedok South B2B camps.. 6 freaking days away from civilisation. pwr!.. Juz Like army. The campers were alright..Haha. I was so tired that i actually fell asleep without sending a message out. Best. The best part is... I'm heading in for another round next week. Wish me luck... . Well, its finally March. Uni in 4 mths. I can hardly wait. Hmm, should i take up the double degree in Biz and Accs? I have to decide real soon. Hope that the good Lord will show me the right way. Just went to KTV with the guys. Sang, shouted and clowned around. Miss the retard who's in aus now tho. I guess each of us have our own life to lead. Hope you're adapted over there bro. I think I'm dam flickle. I keep changing my mind. Bt how can you expect me not too? I wait for so long without a single clue or hope. Then I find out something new again and then I fall back _ _ _ _ _ _ agn. ARGH!!!! Bt I think that I must really practise what I profess to do although its hard. Bt its for the best. There were so many songs that were applicable just now. Hai. Eh potato, dun sweat it ya? Just chill... you see, rejection is just a myth. How so? For example if John asks Jamie out, and she says no.. his situation hasnt really changed. Why? Cause before he asked, he did not have anyone to go out with. Now he still doesnt have anyone. So.. the situation DID NOT CHANGE AT ALL!! It only changes if he tells himself "See mother was right! I'm an ugly ass.. no one would go out with me." Same for your case, she might say no now, but no one knows what the future holds. Persevere, though its hard, i believe that it will pay off in someway or somehow. Even if it doesnt work out the way you want it to, its not your loss. =). Cause God always have a greater plan for all of us. So chill ya? Hope this same advise works for you. Cause another Gemini heeded it for awhile =) Hope you are doing well in camp. I'll cya soon i hope. God bless. You're still in my prayers. Had supper with my Pri school classmate just now. She's dam funny. Bungee jump with eyes closed anyone? =p PS: If my post seems random and incoherent, it can be attributed to the fact that I'm dam sleepy. So sue me!!! . Heyo! Back from camp... super shack but filled with fond memories all the same. Mirror-ed Kelvin and took a NT class of Bukit View Sec 3 cohort. Was quite apprehensive during PCB and the morning itself. However, my apprehension appeared to have been misplaced. They are really a bunch of enthusiastic campers.. well most of them anyway. This camp was really an eye opener for me. Saw how ppl dealt with problem kids. Seriously, how do you guys do tt?! Lol. I can only conjure up violent images in my head if i were dealing with them. These so call pai kias are actually in fact pussies and scum in my opinion. They talk back, show off in front of their friends, act as if they know everything, can do everything. However, when it is time to test their mattle,actually stand up for something worthwhile, they chicken out. Wusses. REGARDLESS(I learn ok),tho I do not boast of any pictures, I still love my group. They are by far the best campers that i've had. Hope that i can get such enthusiatic campers in future. =). BUY EH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cleared my head in camp... hmm... doesnt hurt as bad now.. and I feel comfortable around you once more, or maybe it was just because i did not see the two of you together. Whatever the case, I'm better. Hope to keep it tt way. Yep. Ciao. PS: Hope you all like the relaxing music on my blog. I totally love it!! . In a rush to pack my bag so i can adjourn to MOJO's... some things i really have to get out of me... You two look so happy together. I guess he has the chemistry that i cannot provide. My head keeps telling me that there's no pt going on, bt my heart otherwise. I'm reminded of the lyrics by Rick Price " My friends keep telling me, that if you really love her, you've gotta set her free. And If she returns in time, I'll know she's mine." Should I let you go? Pls tell me cause i don't know who i am or what i'm doing anymore. What ever the outcome, I wish you happiness. Off to camp. . She's cold and she's cruel But she knows what she's doin' She pushed me in the pool at our last school reunion She laughs at my dreams But I dream about her laughter Strange as it seems She's the one I'm after Cause she's bittersweet She knocks me off of my feet And I can'help myself, I don't want anyone else She's a mystery She's too much for me But I keep comin' back for more She's just the girl I'm lookin' for She can't keep a secret for more than an hour She runs on 100 proof attitude power And the more she ignores me The more I adore her What can I do? I'd do anything for her Cause she's bittersweet She knocks me off of my feet And I can't help myself I dont want anyone else She's a mystery She's too much for me But I keep comin' back for more She's just the girl I'm lookin' for But when she sees it's me On her caller ID She won't pick up the phone She'd rather be alone But I can't give up just yet 'Cause every word she's ever said Still ringin' in my head Still ringin' in my head She's cold and she's cruel But she knows what she's doin' Knows just what to say So my whole day is ruined 'Cause she's bittersweet She knocks me off of my feet And I can't help myself, I don't want anyone else She's a mystery She's too much for me But I keep comin' back for more 'Cause she's bittersweet She knocks me off of my feet And I can't help myself I don't want anyone else She's a mystery She's too much for me But I keep comin' back for more Oh, I keep comin' back for more She's just the girl I'm lookin' for Just the girl I'm lookin' for I'm lookin' for I'm lookin' for I'm lookin' for Just the girl I'm lookin' for - The Click Five . Love is like raindrops on the window. Why? Because they can evaporate into thin air. And when they do, they leave stains behind. -- 2 faces of my girlfriend Blatent plagerism from kelvin's blog.. lol.. And the answer to your qn... its neither.. all depends on how you feel about the person. Yep.. take care... hugs . I'm just tired... physically... emotionally... mentally... don't have the will to do anything anymore...I guess i've burnt out.. the candle which burns the brightest is the one tt goes out first.. oh well... Lord, I thank you for me being among the saved, health, breath, food, sanity of mind, caring friends, loving parents, a roof over my head, money to spend, peace, educational intellect and life in general. I know that You are the Provider and the Infinite Supply that not only supplies needs but also wants. Lord, I want happiness and peace in my life. I want riches and freedom. I want eloquence and freedom. I want charisma. I want wisdom and fulfillment. I want wisdom to solve the problems of life.I want a life free of guilt and sin. I want to be filled once more. Lord I thank you for all these. Amen Pls be alright... you suddenly went off with a crpytic "wouldnt make a diff"... pls msg me or smthing to tell me tt ur alright ok cause i'm worried as hell... . Back from Church.. feel rejuvinated really.. guess my spiritual fuel which fuels all the rest of my other faculties in my life is topped up yet again. =) One song just now that really hit me was Still Hide me now Under your wings Cover me within your mighty hand When the oceans rise and thunders roar I will soar with you above the storm Father you are king over the flood I will be still and know you are God Find rest my soul In Christ alone Know his power In quietness and trust When the oceans rise and thunders roar I will soar with you above the storm Father you are king over the flood I will be still and know you are God When the storms of life hits us like an endless torrent and when we have to walk through brimstone and fire, or when everything seems to be going wrong, would we have the faith to say :" I trust You Lord" I pray I'll always think this way. Girl, you got your camp! =).. bt pls pls take care of yourself alright? Have an early night and recover from your flu.. =) And girl.. this is for you: Sixpence None The Richer-With Every Breath Allelluia from the heavens Allelluia in the heights above the earth Allelluia all His angels Allelluia for the last will be first Let everything that has breath, praise the Lord Let everything that has breath, praise the Lord Allelluia in the morning Allelluia for the beauty of His scars Allelluia in the twilight Allelluia sun and moon and shining stars Let everything that has breath, praise the Lord Let everything that has breath, praise the Lord When the night seems so long (throw your hands to the sky) You can sing a new song (wipe the tears from your eyes) When you're weak, He is strong He can heal your wounded soul And calm the storm inside For all your times of laughter In every hopeful prayer When the world weighs on your shoulders Through the sorrow and your despair With everything, with every breath, praise the Lord Let everything, let every breath praise the Lord Let everything that has breath, praise the Lord Let everything that has breath, praise the Lord Let everything that has breath, praise the Lord Let everything, let every breath praise the Lord When the night seems so long (throw your hands to the sky) You can sing a new song (wipe the tears from your eyes) When you're weak, He is strong He can heal your wounded soul And calm the storm inside Take care in camp.. I'll miss you... World War 3 is waging between my mind and my heart right now.... Flurry of thoughts come pouring in faster then i can process them or even type them out. I don't know what to say..really.. for once.. even in writing, i'm lost.. Well shall see if blogging abt the day makes it better. Went to TP(sweet place) to conduct NAFA Test for them... arrived early and decided to have a light jog till alfred called. Did registration and then took the sit and reach station. Alot of pretty gals and THRONGS of not so pretty ones stopped by. I guess my reaction to beautiful ppl has changed. I think its because i have eyes for just 1 person now. Even the "School Flower" seemed just average. Went with alfred to the 1.2 mark after that. Some ppl really buay zhi dong... everybody waiting for them still walk.. NBCCB!!! Also, while we were collating the results, people still asked us for their own so they could leave for their own stuff... wth... you want the results you jolly well wait. (sry for the angsty-ness) Went off for lunch at arnd 2 (we were supposed to end at 12) and I met Jason Yip along the way. Hope ur doing fine dude... =) Came home... chatted and then went out to Liat Towers in all black agn(yes it was the same shirt and pants.. so bite me!) Met the rest of the instructors who were there. Left for clarke quay after that and had a few drinks with real good friends.. Jeremy, all the best in your studies aye? May we all still be able to gather like this a few yrs down the road with spouses and even kids, bt friendships remaining ever strong. And oh.. some guy thought i was a waiter at the place while i was going to take a smoke... and asked me for the bill...kuku... Life can be so unpredictable at times.. one moment your up.. and the next thing your breaking... bt problems at hand often seem larger then they really are when we take a holistic view at life in general. We worry that we aren't good enough for somethings/someone while somewhere out there a parent worries for when the next meal for their kids is coming in. Or we worry that we get sick and miss our activities, while out there, someone has been diagnosed with a terminal disease. I'm not saying that personal problems aint worth worrying abt.. They are! Cause they will gnawl you from the insides if not addressed. Ok.. i'm so not making sense, bt i beg the reader's pardon for i have not had a wink of sleep for almost 24 hrs... mayb i'll edit this when i get up the next day.. Anyway gal.. don't be disturbed k? Sometimes life pushes you to the breaking point, bt its the strengh of your spirit and the guidance and protection of the Big Man up there that will get you through. So all you have to do is keep your spirit up and as for divine guidance and protection, you're always in my prayers =). God bless! And bro.. the stuff that we spoke abt... i'll consider it.. thanks for sticking with me through my downs. Cheers! Nite/morning all. . As the bustle of everydays living gets to you,and the drilling noise saps your cheerful spirit... just so you know.. you have ALOT of ppl around you who care for you and want to see you happy... always... Cuz ur a great gal, nothing less and don't you let your inner voice tell you anything else.. Don't hesitate to give anyone a holla ok? Put that impish grin back onto your face as soon as possible cause you're absolutely adorable in in. You'll be on my mind the whole of tonight.. bt then again, since when have you left? Well take care and God bless.. Hugs I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow And each road leads you where you want to go And if you’re faced with the choice and you have to choose I hope you choose the one that means the most to you And if one door opens to another door closed I hope you keep on walkin’ ‘til you find the window If it’s cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile But more than anything, more than anything Chorus My wish for you Is that this life becomes all that you want it to Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small You never need to carry more than you can hold And while you’re out there gettin’ where you’re gettin’ to I hope you know somebody loves you And wants the same things too Yeah, this is my wish I hope you never look back but you never forget All the ones who love you And the place you left I hope you always forgive and you never regret And you help somebody every chance you get Oh, you find God’s grace in every mistake And always give more than you take But more than anything, yeah more than anything Chorus x2 My wish for you Is that this life becomes all that you want it to Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small You never need to carry more than you can hold And while you’re out there gettin’ where you’re gettin’ to I hope you know somebody loves you And wants the same things too Yeah, this is my wish This is my wish I hope you know somebody loves you May all your dreams stay big . Hmm.. just a random post but was searching through horoscopes for fun... being born on 23 Oct, I'm kinda like a hybrid of sorts between a Libra and a Scorpio. Well, and apparently I've picked up some traits from both as well. Or mayb, the traits are so generalised that anyone can fit into them. Oh well... The Scorpio person is passionate, powerful, penetrating, intense, determined, purposeful, keenly perceptive, brave, deep, complex, analytical, inquisitive, sensual, mysterious, resourceful, ambitious, hypnotic, creative, intriguing, profound, loyal, supportive, protective, generous, humble, quiet, encompassing, self-critical, investigative, passionately caring, tenacious, dynamic, probing, emotional, concerned, compassionate, and shock-proof. They have intense concentration and they understand failings.A frustrated or unhappy Scorpio can be self-destructive, ruthless, overbearing, suspicious, jealous, possessive, dangerous, quick-tempered, obstinate, moody, sadistic, insulting, secretive, intolerant, cunning, and vindictive. People who exhibit the physical characteristics distinctive of the sign of Scorpio have eyes that look at the world with almost hypnotic intensity. Eye color and shape can vary widely, but if someone looks at you with deep penetration it is a sign of a personality strongly influenced by Scorpio. They usually have a broad face with a wide forehead and a thick neck. A Scorpio is generally slender with broad shoulders, with a strongly built body of middle stature Hokay... now for the Libra portion The Libra person is cooperative, diplomatic, open-minded, playful, urbane, fair, partnership-oriented, avoids conflict, easy-going, even-tempered, strong, refined, balanced, leader, graceful, artistic, charming, abundantly pleasant, debating, flexible, sensual, very romantic, idealistic, equalitarian and sociable. They also seem to have a great chance at making vast amounts of wealth and fortune. The Libran is prone to rationalize, be easily deterred, indecisive, lazy, changeable, vain, gullible, easily influenced, flirtatious, conceited, perfectionist, aloof, mildly vengeful, can't say no, quarrelsome, over-serious, tries too hard to fit in, cold, self-indulgent, cruel, jealous, and some are violent So which am i more like? haha... or am i really a hybrid? =p . Well.. Operation Surprise did not turn out quite the way i had planned. Despite the 3 1/2 hr wait, targets of opportunity did not leave the nest which meant no entry into the target zone to deliver the package. Secondly, package was damaged in the process of waiting. Murphy's Law... So improvision was the key battle plan and thankfully, package reached target. Special thanks goes out to my parents. Though they can be insensitive and irritating pricks at times, they were supportive this time round. Tho the molly cuddling can be toned down a little, still thank you. Love you Mummy and Daddy. Bt guess yall won't even be reading this entry. You may be unfixed, fragile, broken and unrepairable. But I'll fix you, I'll be your strength, I'll be your superglue=), and I'll be your repairman. If all else fails... I know I'll still like(i have a slight phobia of the word love now bt i think you were right..take it slow =)) you for your insensitivities, your quirky-ness, your bitchy-ness, your stunning personality and your gorgeous(though self-unnoticed) soul. Have a great Valentine's dear. Tho it might be yellow, i hope that i have made it a special one for you nonetheless. Have fun at JBAC and whatever you're doing thereafter. PS: If my eng seems spastic, sry.. can't really generate coherent thoughts when i'm nt well =s Another night goes by without sleeping cause I know I wont wake up next to you another life goes by without dreaming and I cant help but think that mine will too I'm standing before you this label on my head I'm pleading before you for you to understand baby its you when I look up in the sky I see you and then I turn and close my eyes and its you and when im sitting all alone in my room everything reminds me of you The time is slow and I am sinking into a hole blackened with lies and though I made it myself you stand watching as my life passes me by I'm standing before you this label on my head I'm pleading before you for you to understand how much I adore you I'll be there till the end when everything falls down will you hold my hand? baby its you when I look up in the sky I see you and then I turn and close my eyes and its you and when im sitting all alone in my room everything reminds me of you baby its you when I look up in the sky I see you and then I turn and close my eyes and its you and when im sitting all alone in my room everything reminds me of you . Had a wonderful supper.. kinda... with a wonderful person... Glad you're alright now... remember, if life hands you lemons, make lemonade! =) Why can't people say what they really think? I don't know.. sometimes its just too hard and courage is in short supply.. Nite World . Its finally done =)... Pray that it turns out well!!! =) I really really believe now that the similarities between us are simply uncanny... Well, lets just hope that the same remedy/logic works too. Adapated from a book called The Success Principles Reject Rejection, its is simply a myth. It doesnt really exist! How so? ok, If you asked Bob to go on a date with you and he said no, you did not have anyone to eat dinner with before you asked and now, you do not have anyone to eat dinner with still! The situation did not change or get worse! It only gets worse if you go inside and tell yourself something extra like: See! Mother was right, no one would ever go out with me, I'm the slug of the universe!" Similarly, if you apply for a camp and did not get called up for it, well, you weren't doing camps before they confirmed and you're not doing any camps after they confirmed so... it did not get worse! It stayed the same. And besides, you've spent most of your life not doing camps and knew how to stay happy and occupied without them. So.. whats stopping you now? And in an eventuality they do not call you up ever again(which is not possible)... its their loss. Cause I really think that you are great as an Instructor.. Sry the passage up there is summarised.Rushing for time.Hope It helps when you read my blog =). If you need more info... ask me.. i'll gladly lend the book.. =) And oh... things are not always what they seem. Good things are coming your way.. I guarantee it! =) Back to the task at hand... work work.. . Closed off from love I didn’t need the pain Once or twice was enough And it was all in vain Time starts to pass Before you know it you’re frozen But something happened For the very first time with you My heart melted to the ground Found something true And everyone’s looking round Thinking I’m going crazy But I don’t care what they say I’m in love with you They try to pull me away But they don’t know the truth My heart’s crippled by the vein That I keep on closing You cut me open and I Keep bleeding Keep, keep bleeding love I keep bleeding I keep, keep bleeding love Keep bleeding Keep, keep bleeding love You cut me open Trying hard not to hear But they talk so loud Their piercing sounds fill my ears Try to fill me with doubt Yet I know that the goal Is to keep me from falling But nothing’s greater Than the rest that comes with your embrace And in this world of loneliness I see your face Yet everyone around me Thinks that I’m going crazy, maybe, maybe But I don’t care what they say I’m in love with you They try to pull me away But they don’t know the truth My heart’s crippled by the vein That I keep on closing You cut me open and I Keep bleeding Keep, keep bleeding love I keep bleeding I keep, keep bleeding love Keep bleeding Keep, keep bleeding love You cut me open And it’s draining all of me Oh they find it hard to believe I’ll be wearing these scars For everyone to see I don’t care what they say I’m in love with you They try to pull me away But they don’t know the truth My heart’s crippled by the vein That I keep on closing You cut me open and I Keep bleeding Keep, keep bleeding love I keep bleeding I keep, keep bleeding love Keep bleeding Keep, keep bleeding love You cut me open and I Keep bleeding Keep, keep bleeding love I keep bleeding I keep, keep bleeding love Keep bleeding Keep, keep bleeding love You cut me open and I Keep bleeding Keep, keep bleeding love . First of all!!! Its my 200th post... haha... bt then i wonder, where did my archive buttons go to on my blog? Haha.. shall attempt to find them sometime soon =p. Had a fabulous day today. Went back to VJ to play a lil tennis. Tink I'm currently like was cherie said about herself.. nt good with "corks and balls" (shuttle corks and tennis balls)...haha.. bt practise make perfect aye? Time to improve on every aspect of my life, I cant do anything about the environment i'm brought up in, or how my life has gone so far. Bt I can change the way it turns out to be.. and God willing, it'll be absolutely smashing =) Went ECP for biking/blading after that. Biked and my ass kinda hurts now.. haha.. lousy seats from the rental shop. Poor daryl lost his MP3 and camera too.. dam sad.. had a whale of a time with the ODACers, clowning arnd and all. Adjorned to VJ to bathe bt Kelvin and I decided not to bathe cause we could go to Jeremy's to bathe later on at night. Headed to eat at some vietnamnese restaurant next to Siglap Centre. Not bad the food there. Prices also quite reasonable. Headed to Jeremy's place after that. Played blackjack. Was winning quite a bit at the start however ran into a deficit of $8 after the game was up=(.. and just found out that Jeremy's Dad has quite a bad impression of me =(.. sad.. Went out hoping to eat at Xin Wang for supper. Too bad we missed the last order time and had to walk back to 7-11 for our chow. Ate cup noodles as usual. That's pretty much for this fabulous day spent with fabulous ppl, 5 of whom are currently snoozing a few meters away while i'm like a mad musician banging away on the keyboard at this unearthly hour. Will be a long day tml, bt i hope my parents will agree to me gg out. I feel real sleepy bt the only thought that is going through this weary brain of mine is, how do i heal your beautiful but broken soul? Lord guide me and be my strength. Was scrolling through an old post of mine.. well all i can say its freakily true for some parts of it You are always alert and keenly observant. You are not truly satisfied with your everyday status and you are seeking fresh avenues which can give you the opportunity to prove your worth. You feel that there are still many barriers that stand between you and recognition - but one by one you will overcome them. Your tenacity is your one good point - like an English Bulldog, once you take the bite, you will seldom let go. You 'need to be needed'. As an idealist you are intolerant of anything short of special consideration from those close to you. If you do not get what you seek you are apt to become reclusive and you will close the doors on all those within your sphere of influence. At times all of us would like to be like the ostrich - to be able to bury our heads in the sand and let the rest of the world go by, but unfortunately you can't do just that - you have to face up to reality. A little peace and quiet would be most acceptable at this time but if only one could turn a blind eye to the problems of the day! Tomorrow is another day and who knows, it could be 'today' (not tomorrow) that could be the first day of the rest of your life! For whatever the reason, you find it extremely difficult to sustain relationships - that is to sustain them in the manner that you would wish. You are a very gentle sort of person, full of feeling, sensitivity and susceptible to love and affection, looking and longing for a partner with whom you can enjoy 'All things bright and beautiful' - someone with whom you can seek out the more esoteric things of life. But up to now this person has only existed in your imagination. You are very choosy, appreciative, refined and extremely artistic in temperament and it is your hope to seek others who will allow you to form and express your own taste and judgement and who at the same time may assist you in your intellectual or artistic growth. Matters are not all that they would appear to be and you are critical of the existing conditions which you feel are confused and disorganised. You are therefore looking for a modus operendi which will simplify the situation so that you will be able to see the 'trees in the woods'. . A picture paints a thousand words... and if you could see the smile on my face now... it just says: YAYNESS!!! =) It was a great day. Period.. =) and thank God for it! . Firstly, Happy CNY to all! =). Mine was rather interesting... much more interesting then i expected. Started off CNY at her hse. Glad to be off help. Remb the 3 promises r. Although number 1 was broken last night, BUT its ok. Not your fault. =). Anyway, can i just say that i don't wanna gamble alrd? Lol.. and hell no even more for me to be banker. NB!!! hahah... but i was fun la... =p Went back home and slept for like 20 min. Then went visiting at Ang Mo Kio Community hospital where my granddad was warded for rehab. Haha.. makes him sound like a druggy. Lol. When i first stepped into the ward, I realise how frail he had become. Thin, weak, and unable to move around on his own. What stroke can do to a person. But the patient opposite him was in his early 20s. He totally could not move at all. Only his head and eyes could move. And i remember his eyes. They were haunting. I don't know why bt i just felt sorry for the guy. He just lay there, looking at us fuss over our granddad. My granddad was wheeled down to the lobby eventually for the gathering. We took up the sofas in the lobby and just laid out the goodies and all. Lol.. dam improvised. After that, we went to the paternal side. My paternal granddad lives alone and is 89 yrs old. We arent very close to him. And when conversations are going on between him and my dad. I dont get a single word at all. Ah well.. We left shortly after and headed to Samy's Curry Hse along katong to eat. The service was good. Bt the food a lil to spicy for my liking. Esp the chicken masala. Hiam ke bei si. Lol.. Went back home and crashed into bed after that. Woke up and returned a missed call. In the groggy state some stuff were muttered to me. Tink i only caught some of it. Lol... Went out for a while den came back home. Y am i such a guitar idiot? Grr.... . Haha... guess i freak at every little opportunity tt i get. Well that seriously won't get me anywhere. So ya.. here I stand once again, with sainity restored and emotions balanced. Happy CNY to everyone =) PS: Thank God for motivational books. =) . Just like a moth, Wandering in the night Out of the darkness, I thought i saw a light. As I flew closer, To see what it was, I saw a fire, Burning with warmth. Around it I flew, Basking in its glow, What was so alluring, I guess only I'd know Around the fire, I saw other moths Wings burnt off, Crawling and lost. Suckers, I thought, I'd never be like them. Little I knew, How my story would end. As the feeling grew, I'd thought i'd fly closer, Just near enough To see Little Miss Fire But the closer I got, As if on instinct, The Fire started to die, And become extinct. Fret not, i thought, Afterall I have wings, I'll fan her heart of coal Till fire again I'll bring Try as I might, The flames did not come, All I achieved, Was to bring myself harm My wings were charred and sore, As i fell in a mess to the floor, There I lay on my back Looking longingly at the vast pitch black. There I saw a fellow moth, Fluttering in from the darkness Attracted by the light he saw And the warmness. Oh fire, Oh fire, Keep him safe and warm, Don't let him burn or tire, For it may be a long way he came from Oh fire, Oh fire, Let him know his place, Before he blindly Plunges in for the chase. And Oh fire, The story has come to an end But i still want you to know That'll treat you as my friend However I think that sometime apart, Would give me time to mend my heart. So if you should holla and I dont reply Please understand, I'm only just a guy. . Was out karaoke-ing with my classmates last night. It was fun. Haha.. i guess i siphoned my feelings into the songs tt i sung. I really thought i was ok... i still tink i'm ok, bt what was tt doubt that crept into my mind when i heard "bleeding love"... argh wth... Went to Siglap Xing Wang after tt. There was a 7-eleven there so i went in to get my smokes. Wasn't in the greatest of moods then so i decided to treat myself. Bought Malboro Ice Mint too =). haha. Its ok la.. bt i'm not really a conossieur of tabacco so its really the same as viceroy to me... or mayb i just dont give a rats ass.. Pardon my grouchiness... cuz i am grouchy...with my folks who treat me like 2.. nt 20... World, you are doing a fine job indeed. And I hope the days have improved for you =). God bless! . Well as Jan 08 draws to a close, I realise that I'm actually blessed and there are many things that i ought to be thankful for 1. Thanks for family 2. Thanks for food on the table 3. Thanks for health 4. Thanks for friends (kelvin, tracy and hongming esp) 5. Thanks for companionship found and companionship lost( you've made me stronger and for that i thank you.. really.. no sacarsm intended anywhere) 6. Thanks for a loving daddy God 7. Thanks for peace in S'pore 8. Last bt not least, thanks for life in general. Yea... with so much to be thankful for... I can't possibly wallow in self pity and sadness... so yea.. i may b a lil down bt I'm not defeated! So World.. DO UR WORST!!! =D May feb be an equally smashing month! =) Woke up this morning and wondered if wad happened was real or just some part of a horrific nightmare tt i was glad to be out off. Well reality sucks and i just want to go back to bed. bt i know tt avoiding it would only make it worse. So once agn i find myself alone. Bt i seriously was an idiotic fucktard last night. and i totally deserved everything i'm going through now. so. if nt seeing/talking to each other would be ur punishment for me, guess the next time i'd be working with you will be after CNY. You have a great one alrite? Hopefully by then the dust would have settled and we could still be friends.yep. Take care and God bless. I'm gonna make you bend and break. (It sent you to me without wait.) Say a prayer, but let the good times roll, In case god doesn't show. Let the good times roll. Let the good times roll. And I want these words to make things right, But it's the wrongs that make the words come to life. "Who does he think he is?" If that's the worst you got, Better put your fingers back to the keys. One night and one more time. Thanks for the memories, Even though they weren't so great. "He tastes like you only sweeter." One night, yeah, and one more time. Thanks for the memories. Thanks for the memories. "See, he tastes like you only sweeter." Ohhhhhh. Been looking forward to the future, But my eyesight is going bad. And this crystal ball, It's always cloudy, Except for when you look into the past. One night stand. One night stand off. One night and one more time. Thanks for the memories, Even though they weren't so great. "He tastes like you only sweeter." One night, yeah, and one more time. Thanks for the memories. Thanks for the memories. "See, he tastes like you only sweeter." Ohhhhhh. They say I only think in the form of crunching numbers. In hotel rooms, Collecting page six lovers. Get me out of my mind. Get you out of those clothes. I'm a liner away, From getting you into the mood. Woooah. One night and one more time. Thanks for the memories, Even though they weren't so great. "He tastes like you only sweeter." One night, yeah, and one more time. Thanks for the memories. Thanks for the memories. "See, he tastes like you only sweeter." Ohhhhhh. One more night. One more time. Thanks for the memories, Even though they weren't so great. "He tastes like you only sweeter." One night, yeah, and one more time. Thanks for the memories. Thanks for the memories. "See, he tastes like you only sweeter." Ohhhhhh. The only thing i'd change in this song is that the memories were good. Thank you for being a part of my life regardless of how short it was. You'll always have a special place in here =)... bt ya... thanks for the memories.. . Had a late start today.. woke up at like almost 12 and nua-ed in front of da com. Proceeded to clear my room. Its like soooo much neater now.. juz hope i can find my stuff now tt my room is neat.. haha Went to J Bac with a lovely person. Da walk in was nice and so was the campfire.. aiyah.. da ideas tt i thought of to feed my next grp for campfire are like taken =(.. boo... oh well.. juz got to crank my brain to get more.. Supposed to stay da night bt went out eventually thanks to Alfred(i tink) den headed to Mr Prata for supper. Had a good chat there.. guess we all have skeletons in our closets. Bt as i said in my previous post... i dun see urs.. i'm juz thankful that we are comfortable talking abt our pasts and not judging. Your one of the few who know such stuff abt me and i'm totally cool abt tt. Thanks for telling me abt your past too. Now at least we both know more abt each other. =) And oh.. thanks for da sweets too... felt really loved by tt gesture.. i guess its not only the big stuff tt leaves a warm tingling in the heart bt also the little things =) Heres a song by Christian Bautista for you No one ever saw me like you do All the things that I could add up to I never knew just what a smile was worth But your eyes see everything Without a single word Cause there's something in the way you look at me It's as if my heart knows You're the missing piece You make me believe that there's nothin' in this world I can't be I never know what you see but there's somethin' in the way you look at me If I could freeze a moment in my mind be the second that you Touch your lips to mine I'd like to stop the clock Make time stand still Cause baby this is just the way I always wanna feel Cause there's something in the way you look at me It's as if my heart knows You're the missing piece You make me believe that there's nothin' in this world I can't be I never know what you see but there's somethin' in the way you look at me I don't know how or why I feel different in your eyes All I know is it happens every time Cause there's something in the way you look at me It's as if my heart knows You're the missing piece You make me believe that there's nothin' in this world I can't be I never know what you see but there's somethin' in the way you look at me The way you look at me Thanks for da day... Good night dear! =) . Woke up my bro at like 10 min early and he kao bei.. haha... oh well.. its alrite.. my bad.. lol went back to sleep shortly after making breakfast. Woke up at 930.. was so late for the meeting at office. went to have a quick shower den bolted out of the door. Called the girl and found out that she was still sleeping too.. suprise suprise... =p.. so waited for her at mrt den went down together. Good thing Ian was chill abt it. So signed paylist and handed up da ev forms. As we were leaving for lunch guess who we saw strolling in... Man's Legs!! haha.. we headed to Central Mall for lunch and waited for Ian to join us. I tink he and i share the same sentiments. She totally should not get paid. Bt oh well, being the nice guy tt i am, i just let it be... heehee.. afterall now somebody can treat me =) During lunch da guys asked me abt it.. really tt obvious meh? hai.. guess i'm soo not a good liar. Went shopping with the rest of da female instructors after lunch. Had a whole bunch of dem bt eventually ended up with Wanda and Cheryl. Haha.. Wanda's funny seems like she's perpetually high on something.. wad have u been smoking? i also want!!! =p.. had fried Mars bars and shopped arnd for CNY stuff bt din buy anything save a zippo lighter =).. The two gals bought a pair of shoes and a top respectively.. Cheryl later bought 2 pairs of flip flops. and oh oh!! met my bro's girlfriend there too... dam suprise she knows my name. Wanda left and the most interesting/embarassing thing happened after tt. Something that will be sure to make me CRINGE(yes i learnt) at the thought of it in future.. well you and i both know wad it was.. and i'm still grinning=).. and tt was the internal struggle i was talking abt last night.. to do it or not to do it.. yep.. bt i so totally din turn out the way i expected it to. haha.. oh well.. Murphy's Law in motion. If u found me silent and was suprised, i actually feel suprised myself too. I guess i'm not as good of an interactor(if i may) with ppl as i tink i am. I thought i could hold conversations effortlessly with people.. guess i was wrong.. need time to warm up to stangers and to you. Give me time alright? I'll improve..in da fashion department too=p And to me, you are perfect the way you are now. Your not fat, you dun have chunky legs and you look great even in the mornings. You are witty and funny and always make my day. You may have flaws but i dun see them and honestly, even if i did, i wouldn't give a damn. After all everybody has flaws. So when you're with me, don't worry abt how you look, how you talk or wad you do, cuz i'll love all of those too. Its wad makes you.. you... =) Tml's a long day again.. hope to be able to go for the camfire at J.Bac.. but first.. Operation Room cleaning muz be completed.. God help me. . Juz came back from a movie with a lovely person... da movie was average(no thanks to the recommendation by my bro) bt the company was good. I tink the seats we took were couple seats bt i din lift the center arm rest haha.. dumb rite? Oh well.. slow and steady wins the race.. lol.. u'll probably laugh when u read tis bt wth... i post this with every intention of making u laugh.. haha.. ok i'm rambling bt i'm still coherent right? Or not? Da bus ride was good too.. i'll share more of my playlist with you another time ya? Light supper after tt den it was a short and unplanned meet da parent session.. lol..which turned out fine.. i hope.. and oh.. there was this radio add tt called out to ppl to quit smoking for their better halves during this Valentine's Day... tell me how to la... haha And if i seemed a little silent tonight it was because i was preoccupied in an internal struggle.. no fault of urs juz in case u were wondering.. Back to office tml then it'll be shopping for cny clothings. yayness.=) . Got to see a lot of my sec 1 & 2 classmates today. Ppl i've nt seen in age... some have changed and some havent. It was supposed to be a suprise farewell party cum class gatherin for mingz bt... someone leaked it out. Other than tt, it was a success thanks to both Harold and my planning... haha.. Well tt aside... it was an extremely expensive day for me today... got to start learning how to save. Hope you get well soon... drink lots of water and HAVE SUFFICIENT SLEEP!!! and I hope this will put fears to rest: I'll never break your heart I'll never make you cry I'd rather die than live without you I'll give you all of me Honey that's no lie Like wad i always say to campers who are scared of high elements... you nvr know if you dun try... believe in me... i won't let you fall...cuz i've got you . Back from another camp... dam tired from shouting at da kids... a lot of instructors lost their voice.. my heart goes out to all of them esp 1 =)... well i'm glad tt i had prior training in tis kinda thing... Bt on the whole it was fun... tho vexing.. crowd control was shyte..timing was shyte.. campfire performance was shyte.. bt its all good... they cried in da end..although they were tears of fondness or joy, tt i'd guess i'll nvr knw... and my mirror was dam fine tho my attachee was shyte too.. Camps are nice.. bt i got to improve in those few areas... suggestions anyone? Nt going to do camps next week. Gonna miss da ppl tho how irritating they are.. gonna miss da companionship of da zaniest ppl arnd.. and most of all.. gonna miss seeing you everyday... . Long bus rides with no one between us, where i can hear yor voice,breathing,smell your sweet scent and see ur smile. Simple joys =) PS: Too bad i din have the courage to make the few inches close to clasp ur hand in mine or it would have been perfect... . The 4 yrs hiatus is coming to an end =) Will you count me in? I've been awake for a while now. You've got me feeling like a child now. 'Cause every time I see your bubbly face, I get the tingles in a silly place. It starts in my toes, And I crinkle my nose. Wherever it goes I'll always know, That you make me smile. Please stay for a while now. Just take your time, Wherever you go. The rain is falling on my window pane, But we are hiding in a safer place. Under covers staying dry and warm. You give me feelings that I adore. They start in my toes, Make me crinkle my nose. Wherever it goes I'll always know, That you make me smile. Please stay for a while now. Just take your time, Wherever you go. What am I gonna say, When you make me feel this way? I just...mmm. And it starts in my toes, Makes me crinkle my nose. Wherever it goes I'll always know, That you make me smile. Please stay for a while now. Just take your time, Wherever you go. Da-Da-Dum-da-da-da-da-da. I've been asleep for a while now. You tucked me in just like a child now. 'Cause every time you hold me in your arms, I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth. It starts in my soul, And I lose all control. When you kiss my nose, The feeling shows. 'Cause you make me smile. Baby just take your time now, Holding me tight. Wherever, wherever, wherever you go. Wherever, wherever, wherever you go. Wherever you go, Always know, 'Cause you make me smile even just for a while . Woohoo! First camp in da bag for HA.. well i must say it was quite an experience.. It made me realise a lot abt myself. Firstly, I'm no longer as competent as i used to be in leading people. Secondly, i need to brush up on my communication skills i.e not tripping over my words whilst addressing a crowd as well as finding a way to carry my thought across to them. It was generally fun, but i got slightly peeved on the first day. The sec 1s did not accord me the due respect as an instructor or for that matter, someone senior to them. Bt its all good nw.. Kids these days r.. haiyo.. lol... second day was better tho i had to raise my voice for crowd control a few times. Went back to VJ to eat yet agn! Ha pork chops and ham cheese omelete yumz yumz.. haha.. Kelvin and i then headed to a campfire. I must say it was an eye opener as well. There's a helluva lot of stuff for me to learn, things which i feel will put me in good stead in a group or socially. Met a fellow smoker too! =) haha.. she's cool, bt always kena bullied. Lol. Yep.. tts all folks.. bed beckons. Sentosa tml!!! D3smond Signing off. . . . Hi all.. probably no one reads my defunct blog now but oh well... First of all Happy 2008 ppl!. 2007 was bittersweet bt i guess for da most part it was sweet =), tho admittedly, there was one thing that i'm still in the process of forgiving myself for. Went to Sentosa yest to celebrate the XM's real birthday. The suite was dam nice la... bt quite ex. $509 per night.. haha bt da place is nice.. right next door to the beach and Cafe Del Mar.. Got own jacuzzi too. Well wanted to stay for awhile then head off to class gathering at Jeremy's place. Too bad couldnt get a ride out from the place, so stayed the night in da end. Lots of drinking, talking cock and soaking in the jacuzzi. Well, it was fun la... something marred the entire night. I really hate being caught up in da middle of things and also being used to make another person feel jealous. Well i may be thinking too much bt i felt that that was the case. So i promptly was silent for most of da last eighth of the time i was dere. Oh well this post is juz so random.. haha.. bt tts how i am! =)... gtg sleep soon... uber shack... din sleep for 31 hrs straight yest.. new record for myself. yep.. ciao! . Hi all.. been back for awhile now, but din have the will to blog. Well if u must know, I like to procrastinate. So shoot me! Haha, dunno whether i should be blogging now that I'm in quite an emo mood. But then again, i'm often like that, so what the hell. Tink i should have been born a girl. Well, Midshipman Sea Training Deployment(MSTD) is the first sea deployment for the Midshipman who aspire to be officers. As the name implies, its for the Midshipman,so support staff like myself get to get a break since Mids Wing does not get lull periods like other Wings. We went to 3 ports of call, namely, Ho Chih Min(no i din spell it wrongly) in Vietnam, Muara in Brunei and Cairns, Australia. The trip was an interesting experience for me. On hindsight, tho i'm still sore abt not comissioning, if i had become an army officer, i would not have been able to go through this wonderful experience. Ok, lets see, i left Singapore on 040807 after spending the night at SE's hse watching movie. Was groggy due to lack of sleep so promptly concussed after the Life Raft Station (a safety drill tt is conducted after leaving every harbour). Had 3 packs of cigerattes which lasted me 5 days till we reached Vietnam. Some pics of Sea Life..  Beautiful Sunset doncha tink? And another  Look at the different hues of colours. If i had a better camera, would have captured the night sky. Its dam beautiful too. Hmm, well here's a vid of how the stern of the ship looks like when its sailing and windy. Ok.. here's the screwed up part, in Vietnam, we weren't allowed to have liberty(shore leave) in civis. So we were exploring the town in uniform. How much more cock can it be? Sigh.. My no. 3 was messed up at da end of the 4 days shore leave. Ok some snippets of Vietnam life  Our Welcoming Committee  Nick and I  Beef Pho... our first meal.. and the second and the third and the......  Town center    Some Architecture  Tonics anyone? =)oh if u can't see clearly, its a python and a scorpion entwined in an eternal struggle to their death, in alcohol of course.. ah.. da sweet substance....  That is actually banana, dried and flattened till paper thin. Looks cool... taste even better    The night market...and yes.. those are live frogs strung up In Vietnam, they have millions and i mean millions of motobikes. Pity i did not take a photo of the swarm of motobikes charging towards us while we were crossing the road. But here's a pic of inside a fastfood restaurant... so go figure  And as sailors, we drink of course, a couple of pics of us chilling at a jazz bar   The roadside stalls were great too...tho we were advised not to patronize them for hygiene reasons  Desmond... the auntie killa!!! whaha... Ok u can see in the background that the bikes are crazy as well. And oh.. i was eating a french loaf with fillings tt i can only describe as kway chap(pigs innerds). Heavenly i tell you... Ok lastly, some pics that are interesting, dangerous and downright bizzare.  Good to know that we have a communist counterpart... hhah.. for those who are suffering from myopia(u poor bastards).. it says Lucky Plaza  I'd definately have to call this picture "BOOM!" why? ok maybe i'm not a good photographer but can u see the pink cylinder? Its a gasoline cylinder and guess what the pillion rider(the man half hidden by the tree) is doing? He was freaking taking a smoke la.. best... to quote my sec skool eng teacher: "Brains gentlemen, where are your brains?!" Lastly, on the second last day, we went for a massage, we went back to out cabins and my friend took off his shirt... be warned.. not for the faint-hearted.. scroll down at your own risk...  Gross rite? I told you so.... Ok... its 0130 now.. my bed beckons... but i will update brunei tml and if time permits Cairns. Meanwhile, take lost of care and good nite.. or morning... or whatever you call it.. ciao! . Haha... AAR for Kelv's Birthday Suprise... mission failed... reached the FUP late resulting in the compromise of the element of suprise... reason.. late arrival of troops despite 15 min buffer time... improvements... extend buffer time by 15 min... haha.. okok enuf crapping.. well it was good to see everyone again.. da food was ok bt a bit on the price-y side.. oh well.. only for birthdays ba... erm.. and oh.. for da next person planning anything, if u want to have activiites after dinner gatherings, make sure u plan it out on where to go and juz tell da rest to go or else, u'll juz be stoning arnd till everybody gets tired and then everyone will go hm... Went to Jeremy's place after dinner... talked crap and watch tv.. drank too... ohohoh... here's a good recipe for voldka lovers out there Homemade Voldka Lime(per average cup/mug) 4-5 cubes of ice 3-4 caps of Absolut Voldka(plain)according to taste Fill the cup/mug to about slightly more than 3/4 full with Polka Lemon Calimansi(can be substituted with lime cordial diluted with water) top up with sprite Stir and serve There u have it... a little piece of heaven =) Went out with my bros to watch HP 5 today.. quite disappointing... they change a few part of the book and the director seemed to be rushing thru the movie.. carn they juz make the movie longer? like LOTR... oh well... guess reading's better... bt the plus pt is tt Emma Watson was a good eye candy =) Went to eat at Carl's Jr after tt.. catched up and crapped... well i guess there's really nothing tt beat the company of old friends.. and we still 'click'!.. bt soon we'll all go our separate ways, one to kangaroo land... one to LSE or Cambridge... bt i know we will still be best buds for a very very long time more... Yep... tts pretty much it.. gtg sleep... a whole new week beckons =(... ciao all... meet up again soon... PS: Planning's a real bitch... who's volunteering nxt? . Well.. it seems that on every 26th of june i'll get my heart ripped out... haha... mayb i'm exaggerating... but ya...went out for dinner with ps yest... glad she's happy and doing well but guess there's a part of me that's still pretty much fond of her... Guess i shouldn't wallow in self pity... i gave her up in da first place... oh well... but did i sense something from her yest too? I dunno... if it happens... it happens... On another note... have to take my mind off a certain thing by solid gaming... an unoccupied mind is the workshop of the devil... so if i dun reply u guys on msn.. means i'm gaming... yep... sigh... Oh oh oh... if u guys are looking for nice food... go Liang Seah street... the Taiwanese Eatery there serves excellent beef noodles... i wouldn't recommend the bubble tea tho... haha... yep... tts all... ciao . I'm look like a panda now... nt tt i dun have sufficient sleep... bt my sleep has been puntuated by the most nonsensical stuff... i would wake up in the middle of he night totally disoriented... den go back to sleep... it has been 2 whole weeks now.. at first i tot it was ok until one day my friend came up to me and asked whether i was ok... he tot i was nt getting enought sleep cause dark rings were forming beneath my eyes... maybe its the placebo effect bt i juz checked out my eyes and hey... dark rings... sigh... I dun usually remember my dreams but i sure had one wierd assed one at jeremy's on sat... i dreamt tt i was superman and was carrying whoopie goldberg(if tts how u spell her name) and flying... then a monster came to earth and i was supposed to battle to the death with it but b4 tt was given a chance to make a phone call and say something to someone(the details and da person are SIC... haha)... den i fought da monster and we both died.. tts when i woke... i seriously tink i'm losing it... know any good shrinks anyone? Ok.. i needa bitch abt something else... THIS IS THE THIRD MONTH THEY FREAKING SHORT CHANGE ME OF MY PAY!!!!!!... KKNBCCB.... the issue should have been settle this month bt it turned out to be a fallacy... grrr... it freaking pisses me off because after i OOC... the next 2 months' pay was immediately deducted... efficient eh? But when the tables are turn and THEY OWE ME MONEY... the procedure seems almost sloth-like... argh... well maybe there's some underlying reason why its not done yet... and mayb its better this way as a form of forced savings... bt i hope they gimme my due b4 i sail... sigh... ok.. well... good to bitch... ciao all Need peaceful undisturb sleep...zzzz... birthday gifts are hard to think abt.. bt thanks yilin for ur suggestion =) . In the light of the sun Is there anyone, ohh it has begun O dear you look so lost Eyes are red and tears are shed this world you must have crossed you said You don’t know me, and you don't even care ooo yea You said you don't know me, and you don't wear my chains ooo yea Essential yet appealed Carry all your thoughts, across an open field When the flowers gaze at you they're not the only ones who cry when they see you You said you don't know me, and you don’t even care ooo yea Well you said you don't know me, and you don't wear my chains ooo yea She said I think I'm going to Boston I think I'll start a new life I think I'll start it over No one knows my name I'll get out of California I'm tired of the weather I think I'll get a lover I'll fly them out to Spain I think I'll go to Boston I think that I'm just tired I think I need a new town to leave this all behind I think I need a sun rise I'm tired of the sun set Here it's nice in the summer Some snow would be nice Ooo yea You don't know me And you don't even care Ooo yea In Boston! No one knows my name No one knows my name No one knows my name Yeaa In Boston no one knows my name -Boston by Augustana Alone again tonight, without someone to love. Stars are shining bright, so one more wish goes up. Oh I wish I may, and I wish with all my might, For the love I’m dreaming of and missing in my life. You’d think that I could find, a true love of my own. It happens all the time, to people that I know. Their wishes all come true, so I’ve got to believe, There’s still someone out there who, is meant for only me. [chorus] I guess I must be wishin’ on someone else’s star. It seems like someone else keeps gettin’ what I’m wishing for. Why can’t I be as lucky as those other people are? Oh I guess I must be wishin’ on someone else’s star. I sit here in the dark, and stare up at the sky. I can’t give my heart, one good reason why. Everywhere I look, it’s lovers that I see. It seems like everyone’s in love, everyone but me. [chorus] I guess I must be wishin’ on someone else’s star. It seems like someone else keeps gettin’ what I’m wishing for. Why can’t I be as lucky as those other people are? Oh I guess I must be wishin’ on someone else’s star. Why can’t I be as lucky as those other people are? Oh I guess I must be wishin’ on someone else’s star. -Someone Else's Star by Brian White . You are always alert and keenly observant. You are not truly satisfied with your everyday status and you are seeking fresh avenues which can give you the opportunity to prove your worth. You feel that there are still many barriers that stand between you and recognition - but one by one you will overcome them. Your tenacity is your one good point - like an English Bulldog, once you take the bite, you will seldom let go. You 'need to be needed'. As an idealist you are intolerant of anything short of special consideration from those close to you. If you do not get what you seek you are apt to become reclusive and you will close the doors on all those within your sphere of influence. At times all of us would like to be like the ostrich - to be able to bury our heads in the sand and let the rest of the world go by, but unfortunately you can't do just that - you have to face up to reality. A little peace and quiet would be most acceptable at this time but if only one could turn a blind eye to the problems of the day! Tomorrow is another day and who knows, it could be 'today' (not tomorrow) that could be the first day of the rest of your life! For whatever the reason, you find it extremely difficult to sustain relationships - that is to sustain them in the manner that you would wish. You are a very gentle sort of person, full of feeling, sensitivity and susceptible to love and affection, looking and longing for a partner with whom you can enjoy 'All things bright and beautiful' - someone with whom you can seek out the more esoteric things of life. But up to now this person has only existed in your imagination. You are very choosy, appreciative, refined and extremely artistic in temperament and it is your hope to seek others who will allow you to form and express your own taste and judgement and who at the same time may assist you in your intellectual or artistic growth. Matters are not all that they would appear to be and you are critical of the existing conditions which you feel are confused and disorganised. You are therefore looking for a modus operendi which will simplify the situation so that you will be able to see the 'trees in the woods'. Hmm... true? . Well, probably no one reads my widely know defunct blog any longer.. but wad da heck... tts probably better... can get things off my chest without any ppl judging me.. Well... I know i've gained a true friend tt i can trust, and I juz want to say a BIG Thank You Bro... I guess you really know who your true friends are when you're feeling most fucked up, they'll be there for you no matter wad. I'm not apologising for my lang cause i dun give a fuck anymore... Another thing... I think da clubbing and partyning life ain't for me as of now... 1, i have 2 left feet, 2, I become an introvert in clubs, 3, I smoke and i drink(which i will stop... whoever reads this.. i really mean it this time and am not under the influence of alc... so yea)... Well and another thing.. I absolutely HATE my emo self... It puts me into states that i dun want and turns me into something that i totally dispise...an AFC.. nt tt i wanna be a PUA... but i juz want to be able to have the charisma to socialise in a situation where ppl are strangers, a quality quintisential to a good biz man... Relationships... I dun wanna get into one juz for the sake of being in one... I mean.. I got to know this gal.. she real cute and all.. bt after tonight.. i no longer know whether she's for me... I mean.. i dun wanna bow down to peer pressure in another aspect of my life... oh well... relationships are always the trickest to handle.. And something interesting just happened to me at a club... a friend who i met there got so drunk that he fell face flat and broke is 2 front teeth... well.. i shall spare the details of the person and what happened.. but shall record this for memory sake.. juz to remind myself tt should i ever get stoned drunk.. ppl.. pls take care of my teeth.. i kinda like my pearly whites... haha.. yep.. Well.. b4 i bid all good morning and go wash up and sleep... thank you all out there who have showed me even the slightest bit of concern at all..ciao all.. . Hi all, wanted to blog for awhile alrd but kept getting caught up with work.. sigh.. busy period. but luckily, my lull period is approaching . yippie =) too bad so is a possible cold turkey =(.. haha.. yea.. i'm stopping to train for biathalon(swimming portion only).. hope i no longer smoke in camp anymore.. Well, just watch My Sassy Girl for like the 3rd or 4th time.. still love the show man.. da humour, the whole storyline is just so touching. For some reason it also reminds me of my past. Tink i'll vote it the best romance comedy of all time. only diff is tt this is really not possible in real life, at least not in Singapore where people get caught up with bread and butter issues and cant afford to think about love and truely being with THE ONE. Sigh, the hopeless romantic in me speaking.. lol.. you can catch the whole show in www.peekvid.com.. its a real great webbie.. alot of stuff to watch there.. check it out if you have the time. Well, its a brand new year and i guess in someway or another, most of us will have resoutions of sorts. well i'm no diff.. but not gonna blog abt it.. heh.. just hope that you guys see da change in me and tt its for da better... and Chi New Year is coming soon.. shall we hold a class gathering soon? during tt period? pls pls pls tag me abt tis... . As i said i'm going on lull soon. So might have some off days in which i can crash unis! ahaah.. anybody care to be my guide? or join me? hehe.. tag me too.. and oh.. who can offer to smuggle me into biz fac for da lectures and all? would really appreciate it! yup.. thanks all.. hope to really see you guys soon... take lots of care and God bless! D3smond signing off. . . "what is fate? Fate is building a bridge of chance for someone you love" . Hi all.. its like 540am and i juz got hmr from MOS and bathed.. totally sapped of energy... and cash =P.. in fact juz in a short span of 4 days alone, i've made spendings of around 170++.. i know for seasoned clubbers this is like peanuts but for me its like woa... hhaa.. Well, actually wanted to blog abt my clubbing experience on wed at Zouk but kept postponing it. Well, i wanted to say that clubbing is really not my cup of tea. Zouk on wed was basically crawing with multitudes of ppl. Phuture was full hse and at some pts of time both Zouk and Phuture were also full. In addition, a little someone i was supposed to meet met with.. unforeseened circumstances.. ahaha.. thereby leaving me in the company of friends who constantly disappeared to find their own friends whom they went with. So that night i basically felt that clubbing was really not my thing. Juz wanted to rule it out completely cause it was really damn boring. Nothing to do.. no one to talk to etc.. but thankfully i din blog abt it lest i be called fickle(even tho i tink i am)... haha.. Had RIRC and RGSRCY gathering today at cityhall. Ate NYNY and basically caught up on old times.. was quite happy that so many ppl actually turned up. RI side: Mingz, ZR, TC, Melv, YS and for da RG side: PK, Xiao Tian, Jo, Jas, Annie, Fel,Dior.. Thank you all for coming and making this gathering a success =). Will have more in da future la dun worry.. but need to be much later in future la.. ex leh.. haha.. Thanks to Jo for helping me org da rg side.. next time we shud appt someone else to arrange.. haha.. after dinner, we went to Timbre for awhile to drink.. wa lao.. cmi.. ordered like 170 plus worth of drinks.. no kick at all.. den we decided to go MOS to chiong.. Frankly i tot that die le.. sure kam pua sian one.. but being a good host to our foreign guest, i went on ahead anyway.. so yea.. stepped into the club and was alright.. da music was good at both sides.. but da r&b side was a tat to crowded for comfort.. reminded me of zouk.. ahha.. so we started off at da techno side first.. den da gals said that it was trashy music so we went over and fought the crowd at da r&b side but gave up after a while again.. But later on 3 of da gals decided to go over no matter wad.. so i followed for safety sake.. haha. .later i really did turn out useful as i had to act as a pseudo bf for my friend to prevent her frm being harassed by other ppl in da crowded area.. haha.. 2 ppl tried to pick her up la.. den she told dem i was her bf.. lol.. it was quite an... interesting experience.. lol.. den i told her tt later i might get murdered.. lol.. Well now i shall modify my stance tt clubbin ain't all tt bad.. its really da company you go with tt makes all da diff.. as well as da crowd.. haha.. well if you find this post trashy and nonsensical and full of typo errors and without flow.. pls forgive me as i'm am sleep deprived, high on alc and nicotine and thus can't really type coherently. Yup.. actually have lots more to elaborate but can seem to place dem into words.. haha.. so yea.. ain't gonna try.. till next time D3smond signing off. . . OOI i still haven try Bercardi 101 yet!!!... . Dear all.. I'm ok now.. da new "recreation" is still dere but i'm feeling much better now.. Thank God.. and yes Ver.. i know wad i'm doing.. thanks for your concern.. and for others who showed concern too.. a huge THANK YOU!! Some hope in armies And the Strength of Men My Hope is Jesus Who Calls me Friend He bears me up If i should fall My everything, my all in all! What Love is this? That Knows no pride or selfishness His wounds to make me whole The Savior's blood to save my soul Such powerful statements.. and i'm reborn =) God bless to all and have a merry x'mas! meet up soon k? D3smond signing off. . . . Well, yest was the 9th of Dec. Supposed to be an extremely important day for me, but oh well, i guess it was not meant to be. Well, to those who made it, Congrats Sirs!My ODAC friends: DC,SE,KM,ZY,. My platoon mates: Eugene, Keane, Hendric, Brandon,Ismael and so many others whom i'm not going to name. Thank you for making my stay at OCS a great one with fond memories, however short it was. You have earned ur black bars, now go and be leaders of men. Well, i decided not to go for the parade afterall. Hope you guys understand ya? I know i should be happy for all of ya, and i really am, but its painful being there la.. hope u guys understand Hmm, and it has also come to my attn that apparently my little secret has been made known.. oh well.. guess i was right, it WAS a qn of eventuality. Well ppl, now you know, but dun look at me differently k? I'm still da same person. But sometimes i do wonder whether tt statement still holds true. My life seems so hollow, even driven by material goals, i feel no satisfaction. Goals that i'm working to now might cause me to lose some friends in future whom i really care abt. That might alrd have happened. That's y i have this F**KED UP feeling inside of me now. I dunno whether what i'm doing is correct. Mentally i know it but emotionally? argh.. oh wth... I feel so childish, so immature, esp when ppl arnd me are getting married are having definate dreams. But then a da same time, i feel old tt i'm conc on something ppl at my age dun usually think abt. The age where ppl hang out, have fun etc. Guess those options are closed to me now. But i know i still must go thru it. I really want to say that He'll lead me thru, but i know i've drifted. So pls, pray for my life ya? sigh... oh well, guess tts all D3smond signing off. . . puff.. . This is the last day of my leave and have to return to my routine life tml.. sigh.. but i'm nt complaining.. had a smashing hol. Went to Genting and KL and fell sick when i came back due to walking in da rain and also eating too much "good" food.. whaha.. and if u do get a chance to go to a cold country, sit out in da open and drink a cuppa of hot choc from starbucks.. good shit really =).. came back on thurs. Went out with my tuiton teacher on fri to a pub.. hah.. they had bartop dancing dere.. really an eye opener.. but twas good to see him once again la... although none of my other tuition classmates went.. sigh... Den on sat, went to timbre!! With an old friend whom i knew since my RC cadet days.. but guess who i saw there.. whaha.. for da record.. we really are old friends la.. nothing more.. juz tt she studies at SMU so i tot timbre would be a good place to catch up lo.. ohohoh.. i pierced my ear too!! hah.. gonna take da stud out later so i can work tml.. saw mag there also.. LS!!! you know wad u shud do rite of ur reading this... thanks =)... but actually if it leaks also no biggie.. after thinking for awhile, i think its not a matter of probability but eventuality so yea.. even if u do leak.. i wun blame ya.. u have my best interest at heart too =).. Yup tt pretty much sums my life up so far.. comissioning is coming soon.. i hope i dun feel too sad.. and for all those out dere havin exams or preparing for dem.. perservere.. if He brought you to it.. He'll see you through it!! God bless you all D3smond signing off . . . . By special request from the wife of a goat and the wonderfully blur, short, extremely bully-able elephant... A BIG FAT THANK YOU TOO!!! haha.. thanks for keeping mum abt u know what... anyways it sorta resolved so no biggie.. i tink.. and oh... dun drink if u can't hold ur liquor.. it'll juz come right back out frm ur trunk! haha.. TC gal.. and God bless! =) . Hi all.. for all those who remembered a BIG FAT THANK YOU =)... really appreciate it. For all those who forgot.. *Shakes head*.. haha.. no la.. just slipped ur mind rite? i forgive ya.. haha.. Spent half of my 19th birthday at Daryl Pat's house.. thanks for having me over dude and for making the first few hours of my birthday simply smashing. And for the company over there.. 2 Daniels, Sheryl, Nette and a newly made friend Vanessa.. thanks for being retarded and bringing me laughter on my birthday. Thanks to my dearest ODACers, SE,SQ,KP,KM,LC(ur in this grp too =P)Ver(can consider ODACer alrd la r?) for remembering too.. I'll try to make it down tml for sentosa. Thanks to the blur piece of soap that remembered too.. haha.. and yes i opened my eyes big big to read ur msg can? Like ur eyes not small like tt.. tsk tsk.. =P Thanks to Peishan for being the first to wish me Happy Birthday although it was like one day in advance. I hope ur doing well and all the best in ur relationship with ur prince charming ya? haha Thanks to Mummy and Daddy for the Fish and Co. dinner in advance..=) Ok.. hope i din miss anybody out =P.. well now that the tributes are done..time to write some usual trash. Finally a yr older. Has been a great one at times and not so great one and other times. Dun feel more mature although i'm gonna kiss teenage life goodbye in like another 365 days. Haha. There have been defeats like me still not being abel to stop a certain irksome habit of mine and not being able to enter into med. Victories too like passing my BTT =).. Well for this yr ahead.. i have a few resolutions which i hope ppl can help me keep 1. Stop my habit once and for all. 2. To be more mature in thought, literature and speech 3. To be more spiritual 4. To be more independent financially and basically in every aspect of my life 5. Learn how to cook=)(Daryl pat must help) 6. Get my six pac and get rid of da white spots on my trunk 7. Know the direction in life God wants me to go 8. Be more daring. 9. Stop being so concerned about my hair (yes i stil am although i have much less now) 10. Excel in everything I do or set my mind to achieve and stop procrastinating! Yup thats my big 10. Gtg now.. ciao! D3smond signing off . . . . Went sentosa today.. was quite enjoyable.. couldn't go lynn's house for movie tho.. haha.. oh well.. went to J8 for dinner.. slightly burnt now.. hmm.. got so many thoughts running thu my mind now.. things that i know will not be appropriate to put here.. sigh.. i dun like my over imaginative emo self... des out!.. D3smond signing off. . . . Hi all, stayed over in camp yest cause had combined colours today. In the morning went to open the offices then saw this cat embroiled in a life and death battle with these 2 dogs. One dog was biting the neck and the other its leg. The cat fought back by scratching and clawing. Then it broke free and tried to run off but another dog showed up. And now all three dog ganged up on the poor little thing. They kept biting and then shaking it. The poor little thing... blood all over the place. And ppl still think cats are evil and dogs adorable?!. I like to differ. 3 big mutts ganging up on one cat which was only half da size of a dog. Bitches(no offence ladies.. but i was so horrified at the scene that i din look whether da suckers had balls or not). Actually i feel quite ashamed of myself for not daring to help da cat. Real poor thing lo. Sigh. Oh i might get posted out of MIDS.How? Leave it in His hands.And I'm slightly blissful now tt things are still normal at least.. =) Ciao all.. damn dogs.. D3smond Signing Off. . . . "Thats how it is with God's love Once You experienced it" Had a rekindling of sorts at Church last Sun, the message during youth was quite pertinent for me. Oh wells. The feeling lasted till today! It will stay i pray. As usual I'm talking in riddles aren't I. Ha. Well thats how messed up my grey matter is up there. Maybe like an omelette up there alrd. Sry disgusting. Scoop is nice and da company was not too bad but nothing more I should say. My mind's more or less made up in that matter. All that's left is the time which alas passes so slowly. And also of course God's will.I want to write songs! Haha. K tts all for my randomness... till next time.. ciao! D3smond Signing off. . . . Hmm... due to some strange twist of fate(blatent carelessness on my part actually), finally da cat is out of da bag. I know i'm suppose to feel a lot better now tt its out but somehow i can't shake the feeling of unease. Maybe its my oversensitivity playing up as usual again. Oh wells. Hope all goes fine. Leave it to the Potter's hands eh? and ASAP. Haha. For all those out there having exams or have the prospect of an exam or test looming up in the distance, all the best! My prayers go out to all of you. Oh there was this aussie guy(50+ man really) at church last Sunday and he gave some sharing during Sunday school. Well what he said really made quite alot of sense spiritually to me. I must stop blaming myself for the things I've done and know tt He ahs alrd paid the price of my sins at Calvary. Of course i must make an effort to change too la, and i will. Hope my life can take on a positive new direction from now on. Yea. That's all. Out D3smond signing off. . . . Hi all, short post. EL just left to pursue her dreams. Take care over there k gal? Jo's leaving tml. Will go see her off too. Hmm, partings are part and parcel of life. However people still turn to hose pipes upon parting. Only natural. But it would be more comforting to know that with every "parting" comes new unions. New friendships forged, new relations made. I mean if we always remained in kindergarden,without parting with our friends there, our circle of friends would have been real small indeed. I for one am glad to have met my current groups of friends who are the most wonderful ppl. But anyway, I put partings with inverted commas, as its only temporal(spelling still sucks=p). With improvements in technology, the bonds of friendship will not be so challenged by geographical distance. Yup. Also, for belivers, we would all end up in His house eventually, so yea. Get my drift? D3smond signing off. . . . Hi all, finally blogging after yet another hiatus. Sigh, there really has been lots of things on, my mind recently. I keep telling myself to blog about it and i actually know what i want to type out but somehow, once i sit in front of the com, i juz can't express myself anymore. Well basically my life now is rather routine. Wake up arnd 5 plus, take the 0617 or 0623 train and go to work. My job scope basically is helping my boss, LTC David Lau and any other random crap that comes my way. After a boring and hence mentally exhausting day, I take the almost 2 hr(thanks soap for the cal cause i couldn't be bothered) journey home. Well den basically the cycle continues. And as it does, the inevitable atrophy of my grey matter sets in(notice i'm trying my best to use good vocab so tt at least one part of my brain is preserved). Heck, last sat at a family gathering, my cousin asked me an A Maths question and i had to ask her how to use similar triangles. Best "-_-. Speaking of which, at the end of the gathering, we exchanged(or rather i gave her my msn) and a comment from her realyl tugged a heartstring "Cousins for so long already now then exchange msn!" . Yep, i dunno but i think my family seriously lacks bonding with ourr relations. Ok back to my routine life. I get paid like wad $350 a mth? So i thought of joining a business with my friend. Due to certain uncertainties(pun fully intended), its currently on hold. First crossroad. I also want to give tution to supplement my meagre income but i don't know whether i can be a responsible and competent enough teacher for my young charges. Second crossroad. Third crossroad is i don't know wad i really want in life. As in i don't know which course i want to take in uni. Although i've been offered biz with a 5k grant, ppl have been telling me tt its too general and that the degree won't be worth much in the market. So i thought about science and now, i've just been told tt its even more general. Crap. The last and most major crossroad is regarding matters of the heart(surprise surprise). Hmm well, currently as i'm serving the nation, I have be deliberating whether to go out there and find a confident in life, a significant other. However, there are a few reasons holding me back in general. Firstly, getting into a relationship now would really be a bitch cause it'll be damn unfair to the gal. Secondly, i dun want to get into a relationship just because almost everyone around me is in one and I'm juz bowing to peer pressure, cause tt would mean i'm entering for all the wrong reasons and i would eventually be a cad and end the relationship. I cant bear to have anymore heartbreaks to my name, I've hurt enough ppl in the past including myself. And i also dun trust myself for i find tt, as someone once put it, I hav short attention span. For those that are wondering what tt means you'd probably wouldn't have understood the rest of this post as well but i'll juz expain anyway=p. It basically means i find myself to fickle. And this would lead me back to the aforementioned reason of not getting into a relationship as i dun want to end up hurting ppl. Oh well. On hindsight its quite a lengthy post considering my narrative powress has diminished significantly due to lack of usage. Nonetheless it feels much better to let it out. Yup. Hope to post more often(don't i always say tt?) and hope when the next time i post, one of this crossroads would have become much straighter and clearer . Had one heck of a week last week... haha.. finished watching Winter Sonata on National Day. Its really not a bad drama to catch if you have the time. i dunno, but don't you ever feel that sometimes shows reflect reality? I mean hav you ever related to some character in some flim b4 and went" Hey! Isn't tt me?" Well i know i have. Well afterall flims are indeed a reflection of real life, just a bit exaggerated only. If only all things in life ended like it does in most shows... nicely... or mayb sometimes they do.. but we are too lost in our own notion of what shud be the right "ending"(from frequent media portrayal) that we actually miss something so beautiful in front of us. Ha.. i know I kinda sound GP-ish but just a passing thought. And isit just me or that Korean dramas like to end with the leads either going blind or dying? Had stayover at Lynn's place on thurs.. first time i saw soo many ODAC-ers turn up for a gathering. Ppl like Edgar whom i havent seen in ages (if you're reading this... remember to wax ur hair k? =P) and Pong... haha... well it felt real good to see so many people there. Watched 2 3/4 movies in all.. fell asleep during the last one... heh.. we also had supper at The prata house(isit?) which I had one of the best pratas i had in a long time... or mayb it was the company... speaking of which i really think its the company that make or breaks an outing.. i mean if ur in a company of real boring people, most likely anything ur in will be... dead.. and vice versa... however isn't it strange that in romance, usually opposites attract? hmm... just another random thought. Well another pressing issue is that i seemed to have become very bo chap in things.. mayb i was all along but i've noticed it more pronounced these few days.. also a little rebellious, doing things that i'm not supposed to and all and feeling easily angry and agitated at people.. sigh... seems like i'm pms-ing..(no offense gals).. my spiritual fervor is also basically extinguished.. seems like i dun feel Him with me anymore.. can anyone help me with that? Bah.. i guess not.. Well enough of the raving of an adolecent.. have fun in skool gals! *sulks* D3smond signing off. . . . Ahh... i'm a sucker for romantic flims... catch this one if u can =) . Just saw something stunning happen... was about to go home from dinner with my folks and as we were passing by this coffeshop, suddenly there was this loud crash.. At first i thought it was just some careless staff that dropped a stack of plates or something.. however pretty soon everyboy started running in all directions.. then i saw something and finally knew why... there was this guy with a heavily tattooed arm wielding a knife and over turning the tables in the coffeeshop... and yea... so my family followed the crowd and basically.. zhao-ed.. =p My dad(actually some part of me wanted to stay too), being da kaypo guy tt he is stayed(in the safety of our car of course) to watch the continuation of this real life drama. Soon 2 police cars arrived but da hooligan had already disappeared. However there was a loud "BANG" and i guess that must have been a revolver shot... we din stay to find out more Actually alot of things were racing through my mind on the way home... What if i had been alone instead.. would i have stayed behind and help da police? And also what it would be like to confront a real thug? But there sure was an adrenaline rush when i saw da knife in tt guys hand and him charging in my direction... Another question came into my mind as well... with this kind of things still happening, is Singapore all as safe as its made out to be? hmm... oh well... juz thoughts.. ciao all D3smond signing off. . . .  What does your handwriting say about YOU? yea yea... i know i'm sick... but this time i've really fallen ill... sigh... sucks man... stomach virus infection... so basically everything i eat feels like its trying to fight its way out from on top and below... in addition i got a temp of 38.0 degrees... sian... Well enough of my present situation time to really update on what happen last weekend.. yea.. went wif kenji to watch the miss bikini world at DXO last friday. Never expected to meet Ismael and the other foxtrot ppl there. Ha. Anyway... the competiton sucked... no standard whatsoever... left for MOS later... Went touring inside.. not bad quite big but alot of rooms no entry one.. hah.. but i got da VIP stamp so i managed to go into the VIP booth... all directors and ppl of high standing inside.. hha.. cool.. and oh did i mention i got to do all that for FREE? =) Went for ODAC investiture the next day... was great to see everybody again. Went in to the room and it was real packed man... ate KFC and den saw da 23rd invested... haha.. "long river back wave push front wave"... we were there a year ago.. oh well.. went to PS after that in sean's car to eat Pizza Hut.. nice... den was supposed to meet for class outing.. in the end was cancelled due to SOME REASON... wth la... class outing juz go out wif everybody la... tch... well.. anyway... luckily i saw Randal and we both proceeded to Minds Cafe.. oh well its comcept to Cozy Canopy.. but i think Cozy Canopy is still better =p... btw dun tink ODAC outing will be at Cozy Canpy already... most prob at someone's house. After Minds cafe went to eat wif da yr 2s and den watied for nette daryl and geok till abt 11 plus... went to makansutra to eat den went home via night rider.. couldn't wake up da next day for Church =p.. well thats abt it for my week end.. havent had so much liberty in such a long time.. yup... cya all D3smond signing off . . . . well... within the short period of time since i last blogged... another turning event has happened in my life... well more specifically my NS life... i got posted to become OCS DY(navy)'s PA... well... new challanges await and new people to get to know... most prob this will be my perm job for the rest of my ns life... oh well.. anyway, job of mine is really like a real outside office... politics and all... very soon i'm sure i'd be dragged into the fray... sigh... oh well... God help me... tts all for now... ciao D3smond signing off. . . . I know i know... its been ages... blah blah blah... but now... since i've got some time on my hands... tot i'd just update my almost defunked blog... feels really wierd blogging after such a long period of time but i'd like to be rid of some verbal(or in this case typing) dirrahoea. (yes i know my spelling still sucks) Well, got into and out of OCS since i last updated... was really an unforgetable experience i must say.. Foxtrot wing is indeed one of the best if not the best wing arnd... however sadly i was not able to continue with my journey to become an officer in this marvelous wing...learnt so much within my short stint at OCS... but like all things, it isn't perfect either. Well some people with ranks on their shoulders treat others like dirt... but its alright... u got da rank, u got da pwr, so exercise ur right all u want... but a gentle reminder tho, rank is what u wear, respect is what u earn. That was my philosophy and still is now... gain the respect of ur men and they will gladly go with u into battle, do not demand it like its a born right. Sometimes the only reason why someone is of higher rank then another is because he got in first, not because of calibre... or also that da former is a little "wayang". Well enough of talk about myself at wingline... got temp downgraded to C1L2 for 6 mths due to worn out cartiledges in both knees.. da X-ray of my knees look quite sick too... both my kneecaps are pronating outwards and are off alignment... walking has become a bitch without my knee guards and even with them on, i experience difficulty in moving about as well... now working in OCS manpower cadet section... well, the life there is ok... i wun say gr8 tho its 8-530 cause i get da feeling tt ppl there dun really like me... not my fellow OOCs but da more senior ones there... maybe i'm still green and hopefully i'll get integrated soon enough.. or mayb its just inferiority complex... i dunno... but i juz get these strong vibes... especially during this period of restructuring when i pretty much can't help with any moving... den again i've been know to bee over emo at times... oh wells.. HR is such a complex thing. well enough about army.. well i discovered some quite interesting stuff on the net... one being the Mr Brown show... another 2 being my anime stuff, youtube also rocks my socks... heh.. yup... As for my tertiary studies.. i did not get into med... tho it was a mega bummer, i wasn't like devastated or smthing.. well i knew tt da interview din go too well especially with da haggard old profs dozing off and all, coupled with stupid decision to inject my wry sense if humour into da interview in a pathetic attempt to liven up the conversation... oh well... lets juz say tt it wasn't meant to be.. however.. i still wun take this lying down.. mayb someday i'll own the hospitals they work in and i'll be dozing off when dey plead for their retirement benifits... whahhaha... ok... i'm drifting so ignore my previous sentence... I chose biz in the end cause after pondering what i want out of life is that i really want to be extremely successful financially... i want a gr8 house and car and to use my wealth to help others in need as well... i don't know how i'm gonna do it... but i sure hope i'd have blessings from above... well i think that's pretty much what i wanted to say so i shall end here... hopefully i can update this pacge more frequently la... ciao all . Hi all... i know my blog's like gathering cobwebs hee... so here i am with the dustpan in hand to wipe the place spic and span... lol... lame rhyme... Hmm... well just pop-ed on tue, felt damn proud when i was marching into the parade square while julang-ing my weapon... and our bangs.. solid sia... ahhaz.. took awhile for my parents to find me and din get a good photo of me in my jockey cap... hmm... bmt had but 1 extremely trying moment for me... the 4 km fast march which i really dun wanna do again in my life.. but i guess in command school i would have to do it again... Sigh.. i think my time in Orion coy was really memorable... all da friends made... of course there were rather... unpleasant... ppl arnd but i choose to remb da good times... yup... Hmm.. also got my results some days back... was really super nervous when WX checked da board for me... esp when my name wasn't on the 4 A's list... luckily it was on the 3A's one... and i seriously seriously wanna thank God for my results... cause i felt tt da results i got really din reflect the effort i put in... honestly during my jc years i was uber duber slack... couldnt care less abt my results... till after my A's when my dad got retrenched den i really struck me.. yup... needa get good results to put my parent's minds at ease so i prayed real hard and i guess He really answered my prayer la Waiting for vocation now and thinking of applying to unis... another kind of stress... hahaz... da uni applications are troublesome... dunno whether muz write essays or not... heck my vocab has shrunk ever since i started wearing green... Just read this super interesting book called "Rich Dad, Poor Dad".. really interesting and sets u thinking... u guys shud go read if u have da time... yup... thats all for now... ciao D3smond signing off. . . . Hi all... Here's wishing everybody a Happy CNY!!! haha... well i must really enjoy this year's cny, 5 days of break from tt wretched island... heh.. okie la in all honesty, its not tt bad in the army la. As i was saying, i have 5 days break, after which would be my ippt diagnostic and my field camp. Well, I have to really excel in field camp in order to make it to OCS so God help me... esp now more then ever i have to make it dere somehow People who knew me b4 i went in and now would say tt my vulgarity rate has multiplied tenfold... heh.. but really who can blame me when people all around me puntuate their sentences with genitals of both male and female in hokkien... my middle finger has also become a bit "trigger happy"... so for all those ppl who know me and read this... dun be offended the next time u see me la.. Speaking of trigger happy, i went for my imt shoot.. its quite fun like an arcade game.. basically its like a simulated m16 rifle. You get to shoot both deliberate and snap targets... well my accuracy is not the best i must say, but one of the better ones.. the best shot i seen so far was a 100m canadian bull target with a grouping size of 0.8 cm... pwr la tt guy... Had GAC before booking out yest.. quite fun.. had all the procedures to go through.. seems quite dumb but i guess a real live grenade throw would need these procedures or many officers would have died... And oh, the officer supervising me kept asking me whether i was mixed or whether i was pure chinese or whether andy of my parents were mixed... heh.. Okie la... gtg eat breakfast den go visiting already... ciao all D3smond Signing off. . . . Hey all.. just released from "prison" last nite... heh.. miss me?? hee... I hope u do.. cause i really missed da outside world... shall update on da last 5 days of my life... Enlistment day was okie la... got "welcomed" by CSM... haha taught us da things to say all tt b4 entering... so fake la... and oh.. one guy cried till his nose bled... lmao... had trouble sleeping on da first nite... Second day nothing memorable except lotsa forms to sign and also cannot sign out of da box... Third day was also not memorable except we had a chance to check clear Forth day had pt... was rather okie... was taught a series of exercises which cant remember to save my own life... Fifth day pt was xiong... my arms are almost fei already... finally someone reduced the number of pull ups i can do to only 1... hands are blistered... and arms are sore... and they only allow close arm pushups... sigh... Good thing is most of my bunk mates are damn nice and we are quite a fun section... my platoon got this sei bei on guy la... think he wants to be best recruit or smthing but if u ask me... he's overdoing it... and oh theres also this "michael jackson" not because he can dance well but because his keblakan pusing is like dancing.. lol.. and oh... it rained everyday for the five days i was dere... and i'm on the top floor so i have to climb up and down just to use the toilet... sigh... okie la... book in at 8pm tonight... goodbye civilisation for 11 days again... D3smond signing off. . . . Oh boy... its down to one last day... guess tt was always an unavoidable eventuality but reality nvr struck so hard and sudden for a long long time... Where boys become men eh? Hope i'd grow into manhood possessing the same amt of everything i have now... or m strong pts refined and weak pts diminished... hmm.. cuz i kinda like myself... lol... ego trip but yea... glad God made me the way i am... Sipping a cup of soup now... boy tts gonna be a luxury in Army... Anyway... wetn to Fish and Co to eat... Odac Farewwell for the guys... talked super alot of crap... ahahz... it was fun to see then again.. yup.. both guys and gals... think i'm gonna miss the times together... yup... Went back for orientation today... was like crap... no teaching of mass dance on day 1.. come on man... hahz.. but i guess diff way of running stuff.. not my batch so can't really complain... juz hope the new yr 1s enjoy demselves... oh.. heard miss 17 is in our skool... well.. din see her tho... lol... speaking of which saw my eye candy today... cute as ever... but aiya... i know... will always just be watching at a distance... yup... well i wish her all the best in whatever she does nonetheless and yup... may God bless her thru this gruelling year ahead... uh huh... Well tts abt it... gtg sleep now... pray for me ya? Thankew all for being part of my life... ciao... RECRUIT TAY REPORTING FOR DUTY.. SIR!! D3smond signing off. . . . Hi all... i'm a much more cheery person as compared to wehn i posted my last post... oh well... forgive and forget... guess da first is much easier when compared to the second... but yea nvm Juz came back from Ver's party... boy has it been a long day... Started out by be breaking my resolution to run in the morning so i promptly plonked myself down in front of the com and started watching anime... left the house slightly later to meet chris and yq to "consult" them on what to buy for ver's party... walked around orchard for a while and yea... met some ppl... hee... and then proceeded on to siglap mac to wait.. Bought Ben and Jerry's to her house... woa.. was it crowded... each of the sister brought their own clique of friends so yea... it was quite "festive"... caught up on alot of stuff with my friends and can say it was a rather enjoyable time... found a fellow anime lover... hahaz... Well.. thanks Kel for tt wonderful poster... love it loads.. and of course LS for the present tt is soo me.. and yq and SQ for da cards and well wishes... and last but definately not the least Ver for organising such a fab. party!.. =) Well yea... Des is currently happy and contented and a little sleepy(must be the voldka) so.. so long farewell its time to say goodnight... D3smond signing off. . . . Ha... today was quite an eventful day... but it seems i'm currently hav my hands full between "penning" my thought down and gossiping with friends online... man... this is gonna be one heck of a troublesome entry... heh Okie... was chatting with chat... really... its short for his name... cant spell da darn thing... he's thai... yea... cahtting with chat online abt 4am tis morning... caught up on what he has been up too and he did likewise... its rather sad tho... he went back to thailand and then to the Uk... lost contact with most of his friends here... is tt gonna happen to my circle of friends too? when we each take our own paths in life... would we still meet in future? or remain a distant memory in ech other's mind?... Oh well... God forbid Okie... slept for like a real short while and went out to meet Harold and Mingz... I think i have a puntuality prob.... I'm always to damn freaking EARLY!!!... My friends tend to have puntuality issues of their own too... but they're always late... so i end up always waiting for like half an hour... oh well... guess u can say i'm used to it... so... no biggie =)... Okie... met these two gr8 guys i havent seen in the longest time ever... i guess u can say that we are besties... *eww... sounds so mushy and gay*... haha... but yea... was gr8 seeing each other again and catching up on old times... tried remembering our sec 1 and 2 classmates... man... tt sure was tough... shows how time can weather the bonds of friendship... oh well... hope the 3 of us do remain friends forever... hehe.. gayness again =p... watched King Kong after tt... real nice show... recomend tt u ppl shud catch it too... yup... a lot of hilerious scenes too... hehe... its quite long tho... 1 hr into the show and still no sign of da big ape... so go figure... went to walk arnd for awhile after da movie... Went to eat dinner at macs alone den tried to find a place on hand to kill 4 hrs... tough job yea... felt real lousy and alone... not da gr8test feeling in the world i assure u... hahaz... got all depressed and stuff... luckily found a great spot and sat down to hear the lapping of waves... and the brezze was magnificanto... hmm... supposed to have been quite a big outing... but ended up... so many ppl pang sehed.. as usual lo... haiz... i know... u ppl have ur reasons... but cant be tt co-incidental all the time can it? or are we really tt unlucky? Okie in the end ended up with Kelv, Ver and I... went to timebre=)... nice as ever... they both enjoyed the place too(i think)... tho ver was a bit distant and kelv was stoning at the end... hahz... ordered snowball, white russian and lychee martini... had louisiana fries... hahaz... not bad... and oh! saw Fiona Xie(too bad yilin =P) up close and personal... well not exactly... but close enuf... she was wearing a cap... well... is tt the destiny of a celeb? have to hide everywhere u go? really makes ppl think twice b4 entering the entertainment bizz doncha think? sigh... another reconsidering pt for one of my potential careers... Cabbed home and had tis super chatty uncle on board... talkied alot on my goals and stuff... gosh... it sounded like an interview... and i managed to churn it out calmly... well... helps to have ur own view pts... or mayb ... b4 an interview... i shud consume some alc... Dutch courage u see... heh... Well.. all in all... was quite a day i must say... and i must go retire... till nxt time... tata! D3smond signing off. . . . Hmm... i don't know... a wave of depression just swept over me after my swimming just now... am i too soft for my own good? I mean, i often make friends with people darn easily and usually give in to ppls requests, tt allows dem to take advantage of me... so me being me... is tt a good thing? Lobsterised now... real burnt, face, chest and back... super uncomfy touching anything now sigh... still feeling depressed despite all da exercise its supposed to generate seritonin but guess what ever gland that produces that hormone must be taking time off now... Went to see Jian Peng off today... Ling Peng also leaving soon... man... i know it sounds a bit gay(and u noe i'm strongly against gays).. but i'll miss them... they brought much colour to ODAC... who can forget "Mandy" and my co songwriter? haz.. well tho the distance might separate us... i hope we'll all keep in contact and ya... just remain friends forever more... idealistic eh? ahh... the cynical side of me speaking Speaking of which, yest was the interview workshop which i thoroughly enjoyed myself... by oddly Santosh din seem to enjoy himself... he was frowning throughout and was damn cynical... oh well... guess everybody has his/her ups and downs ya? Which i'm currently in the doldrums... ahh... emotional me... guess tt will be a gr8 obstacle for me shud i make it to become a surgeon... but i think tt will be my gr8test strength as well... cant be all cold and clinical.. have to treat ur paitents as humans and the hurt from failures will drive me on to improve... ahh... random ramblings again Hmm... set out to acomplish soo many things during the hols... learnt blading, drawing, jap, get a gf(I'm kidding! =) sry, wry sense of humour) etc... but seems like my training is sapping all my energy ... hai... and also i'm replaying com games like nobody's business... using up alot of time on that... argh.. dun even know why i'm typing all this dwn also... okie... to spare u guys da pain of trudging tho my bitching and whining, shall end here... ciao peeps... D3smond signing off. . . . http://www.imagestation.com/album/index.html?id=2133824486 . Prom came and went in a flash... could still remember my self typing the post about insomia... but no worries... i'm cured, definately. Reached home at like 530 am this morning and crashed into bed till about 6 just now. Just came back from dinner so yea... thought that i'll just update... Left shortly after my post yest and got lost trying to find my way to Pan Pac hotel... in the end met Kelv and Ver in Carl's Jr and had a burger, well half actually, Kelv polished up the other half... Went to Pan Pac to check in and had a rude shock whe nthe recep ask us to pay a further 200 bucks deposit... o_0... of course we din have the cash but after some negotiation, we work our way around it. Went up to the room, and both Kelv and Ver left to cut hair. I tried to sleep to no avail so ended up bathing, doing my hair and then vegetating for the longest time ever Finally KM came and at least i had company. Shortly after, the gals arrived and i must say wow... i was really stunned... they looked sooo different(in a good way of course) from normal... Who says there aren't any gals in ODAC... heh... but really i found that 30++ hairpins sticking into one head is a little appalling... =p... shortly after more and more ppl came and i had to ferry them up one by one... everybody got dressed, and i noticed i was the most casual of the lot... Made our way to Ritz and saw many other similarly formally dressed ppl... Went on a photo taking rampage... shall upload the photos tt i took later... Then entered the ballroom and had quite an irritating MC... and the first performance was by the CJC dancers? hahaz.. but actually i din really mind lah... esp the way da gals dressed... heh... Next came the food... poor LS din know how to use the cutlery.. heh... Kelv and I had to educate her... The food portions were abyssmal... but was generally ok tasting... enjoyed the cake tho... later doug and yilin came and doug, km and I went back to the hotel room to get GH's birthday present... managed to catch the last trains to Clarke Quey with a bit of sprinting and met GH SL PT and Alvin at Indochie... A first for me at a club... well all i can say is... not my cuppa tea... speaking of which, i enjoyed a Long Island Tea... was quite nice but had an after taste of So Joo... Slacked, took pictures till the rest came... then left shortly after... Apparently HC had something planned for GH and was thoroughly kept in the dark abt it... so it caused me some... inconvinence... but no matter... and ooh... met Da Desmond patrolling... hahaz... darn wierd... he was on the phone with Janessa also.. so coincidental... after that, went back to Marina Square picked up some food in liquor and went back to the hotel room to chill... had quite a scare tho when the hotel management called our room to ask all the extra ppl to leave... but thankfully, they din come up to check... slacked in the room and saw evelyn "unrevelling" her hair... was quite a sight really... left shortly with Alvin and Doug, the Pasir-landers... heh... Hmm... JC IS finally over, in the blink of and eye, like a breeze passing over the waters, leaving behind ripples of memories that can be treasured or some, to be forgotten. The ties of friendship made during these two short years will be tested as we each walk our own paths in life, some being posted abroad or taking different courses... well... all i can say is that if we really try, these bonds of friendship can and will be preserved, or else, it'll just fade into nothingness, with friends becoming juz a ripple in the sea of memories. The JC phase is finally over for me as well as the hundreds of other VJ students... sad? maybe nostalgic? definately wanting to do it al over again? Definately... NOT! heh... the answer to the last question might have been a yes for some but no thanks... once through and i'm spent... Oh well as the guys head off fr the life of Green and the gals, a taste of working life then university, i bid all ppl a fond farewell as we enter this new phase with new experiences that await and memories to be cherished... Nil Sine Labore.. and of course Auspicium Melioris Aevi =)... D3smond Signing Off. . . . ARGH!!!! I CAN'T SLEEP... its like few hours away from prom and i only had like wad... 1.5 hrs sleep last night... darn it.. gonna look like a dead fish la... i needa sleep desperately... mayb will eventually doze off in the hotel room later but i seriously needa sleep... how how how? haha... see... sleep deprivation has caused me to rave... but then again i always rave... on the other hand... this is abnormal... argh... ignore me... =(... do u know da feeling? i had it once in shanghai... and this is my second time... its like you're dang tired but no matter how u lie down or close your eyes... the clockwork up there just wont stop turning... mayb its excitement and anticipation but argh... i feel neither of the above... just lethargy... hmm... lala land seems shut from me today... shalll attempt another forced entry now... somebody pls hypnotise me!!! D3smond signing off. . . . "Ah ah ah ah ah Go crazy!" haha... it finally da end of A's... ended like 5 days ago for me... ya ya i know... i'm kinda lag.. ha but u can hardly blame me... been enjoying meself over da last 5 days... blogging din come to my mind till now... (actually it did lah... but din really bother) now waiting for da darn contractor to come and be done with whatever things he needs to do b4 i can bahe and leave for jeremy's BBq... argh... can't they ever be punctual?! Hmm.. lets see.. over the past few days have been watching tv, playing com, watching movies and going out. The most enjoyable so far was last nite-tis morning actually... Met my math teacher for tution gathering.. ended up like only a super small grp... ate at marina square "Dian Xiao Er"... not bad lah... heh... went to play pool till like 10 pm... then when to a restaurant-pub thingy... think the palce was called Timbre or smthing... why was i there? cause my tution friend had friends working there so she went to support... heh... nice place sia... had a live guitar performance and they were so so good... had beer(legally of course! hrmp!) and then bitter lemon... wasn't tt bitter as compared to the beer la... then mixed around with my friends class and got to know a few new interesting ppl... heh... think her class i pretty much like mine... likes to suan the hell outta each other and whacky... hmm... but its was like only a portion of the class la.... so i dunno... oh... back to the band... they kept churning out numbers like Hotel california and da picking of the guitarist was like... whoa... one of them was called "Lightning Danny"... so go figure... the design of the place was also very goo... cosy... good place if ya wanna romantic evening... they have diff bands every night apparently... oh... the place is near the old national library... might even go back there after prom should the after-prom party prove disappointing... and in the span of like just 2 days... 3 diff groups of ppl say i look mixed... do i really? mayb its true la... or mayb my great great great X10^1000000 grandparents were ang moh or smthing... tt explains da never-can-be-tanned skin of mine... of well... actually come to think of it... its not that bad being fair lo... hmm... contrators coming now... enough of my ramblings ciao peeps... have a gr8 hols! (first signs of brain atrophy setting in) D3smond signing off. . . . As the A's loom ominously close... every day seems to pass so fast... esp when i can't get my repository up there to store da last min cramming... ah wells... so i guess i should come on and blog... hmm.. it has been mug-eat-bathe-sleep day in and day out for me.. regimental lifestyle, could actually get used to it...NOT!! heh... can't wait for liberation day (24th) yet at the same time i don't want it to start so fast... need more prep time... haiz... Well.. received an Sms abt pastor Federie Flores in east timor a few days back... don't know how many of u peeps recieved it as well... well... it was a hoax.. felt a bit betrayed by that but after some reflection, realised tt it was a good thing... at least we weren't returning to the time's when God's servants were stoned to death... at least not yet.. but that day would come i guess as written, mayb in my lifetime, mayb not... who knows what the future holds? as i was saying Thank God that such an atrocity did not happen. There were terror bombings just before Deepavali, in a market where ppl were shopping. As u could imagine(you wouldn't have to if u watched the news), the casualty rate was quite high, cant remb da exact stats though. WTH is wrong with these ppl? Those ppl are still reeling from da quake and ppl had to just go in there and create more misery... I mean what kind or "God" are those ppl serving then? The one of death and destruction? Hades maybe? sigh... sad this world is... Well.. studies beckon once again... reckon tt i would not update till 24th at least... heh.. told myself tt da last time... anyway.. till den ciao... and all da best ma brudders and sistas for da A's and da O's If God is with us, who can be against us? =) D3smond signing off. . . . hmm.. finally this day has come... booze here i come... after A lvls tt is... well.. jus spent 1.5 hrs of my day doing compre... oh wells... end yr babies are always like this... thanks nette, ver, kelv, joanne, yilin, cindy, jianpeng, kelly, eliane, ps, mummy and daddy for all ur well wishes... :)... love ya all.. and for those who message me after this post... thanks as well :)... D3smond signing off. . . . yup... basically tts my enlistment date... haiz... earliest i know so far save da PTP peeps... well... hope it'll be a gr8 experience =)... OLCX2 Well.. had quite a nice da today... quite a fortunate event as well =)... hahaz.. yupz... 33's nice... lol... and da Marche meal was nice too =)... K... my brain is like maxed out now... gtg sleep... ciao D3smond signing off. . . . hmm... got back quite a number of results today... Got a C for Maths!!! woohoo!!!... Thank God!!! really... Passed my chem also... Thank the Lord once more... there can be miracles... =).. then econs was essay was okie but i found out tt i failed mcq... sob... but i still thank Him nonetheless... Hmm... Gp essay... i failed... sigh... but as usual... i still thank Him for my grades... could have been much worse...oh well... second round tml.. ciao... D3smond signing off. . . . Hmm... havent been posting for quite awhile now... heh... buzy lah... post exam activities... yupz... It's been a week since prelims ended.. been playing non stop for these few days... sigh... too bad tt is coming to an end as well as i start to(hopefully) gear up for da big A's... hmm... judging by da difficulty of the papers i say my chem is a goner, maths... near or totally goner... but i'm banking on bio and econs to save my hide... yup... or my skin will be auctioned st the tanner's... "-_- (not that anyone would wanna buy it lah =p)... hmm... So why the sudden blogging urge u might ask... hmm... cause of something i saw... Kiasu-ism at work... not mine but some1 else's... Went to White Sands to get yearly TYS(i know its a bit late... but hey... at least i'm trying... ok i'm digressing)... erm... where was i... ok... after lunch and shopping for groceries with my mum, we passed by Delifrance... as you know there's this offer going on... 95 cents for a crossant... mother cheap... so we decided to pick up four for tea... the mumbers were dwindling but however lucky us... the baker replenished a whole new FULL tray of crossants... There was a lady taking the last piece of the prevous tray... she stood there for the tray to be replaced and aptly continued taking more... and more... and more... noticing that if she kept standing there to wait..there wouln't be anymore left for us... my mum butted in and took 4... Normally i'd have frown upon an action of butting in but this time i felt that it was perfectly resonable... and By golly... i was right(suprise suprise...) after my Mum took her share... i noticed that that woman had polished up the entire new tray... I mean come-on man... i know its dirt cheap but hey... give others a chance lah... in the end her tray was stacked with corssants... abt 10++++... how da heck are you gonna finish all that? Buffet da whole week with nothing but crossants? Its was enoough to feed an army lah... dots... There was this article in today's papers about the Chinese govt trying to improve manners in China...They realise the imptance of a refined and cultured society(finally)... I think as Singaporeans... we should do like-wise and clamp down HARD on such disgracful acts in our society... the KIASU mentality when applied correctly is benificial... but in this cricumstance... oh boy... was it overboard... Okie... enough abt kiasu aunties and their spending patterns... hmm... Aletheia message me like yest night and asked me how i was doing... had a short sms conversation and found out that she was doing well and that her Dad is once again organising another trip to Korea... Mega bummer... can't go... really really miss the times in Korea... haiz... the late night shopping... going down head-first on snowboard... and other obvious reasons =p... Okie... shall sign off now... sigh... its a drowsy afternoon... D3smond signing off. . . . juz went blog hopping.. well... i can say one thing for sure... my life its hellish now... but its not as bad as the sit in New Orleans... God bless them.. really... comparatively i'm more fortunate... much more fortunate... but it my crabby situation... it doesnt seem very apparent... haiz... Lord help me too... its currently 2.15 am... wed... 5 more days to the actual start of prelims... juz finished doing a math paper... got a abyssmal 39... the one i did yest, 45... arghz... SOMEBODY SAVE ME!!!! how how? its like soooo close to paper 1 and i can do squat... bio also... 'm like taking ages to trudge through my option topic tho its like in the second week but still... no time... econs i seem confident but then again my micro foundation is quite shaky... chem... wow... havent touched tt in a looong time... i feel so peeved at myself tt i can't conc, i can't do well in math, i can't get good grades like i used to, i can't focus... crap man... i dunno i juz need some place to scream... "How could this happen to me? I made my mistakes, got nowhere to run, the night goes on its not fading away, I"M SICK OFF THIS LIFE I JUZ WANNA SCREAM, how could this happen to me..." now i really know how the protagonist of that song felt... or at least meant others to feel... WL... mayb i dun really understand ur probs tt much, but i sort of have the same thought of giving it up like ya... sigh... cynical buddies till the end huh? oh well... i'm supposed to say tt i feel much betta after letting out some steam... but i don't and i'm not gonna pretend anymore like i've done for the past 2 yrs of my life... no... everything is not ok... its not... D3smond signing off. . . . W... Tungsten You scored 53 Mass, 24 Electronegativity, 79 Metal, and 20 Radioactivity! You may buy into the values of society, but you just can't seem to fit into it. You've always been a bit too prone to over-reacting. On the bright side you can withstand extremely high energy people and environments just as easily as you can low energy ones. You might do comparatively well hanging out with Phosphorous people as a result. In fact, you are probably the best suited person to try to shape their efforts into something constructive... unfortunately, that would require your actively involving yourself with someone, which you are generally loathe to do. The ideal job for you would be working within a nuclear power plant... alone. . Batch 21 Verse1: So it all began B2b my friend Where we all knew each other just then As we journeyed on Ubin all day long Even through the night and in the dawn Pre-chorus 1: Sunshine, storm or rain OLC was super pain Up and down Gunung Stong Ka neng we kio tolong Chorus: We've come so far together Each and everyone The blood and tears, sweet memories The hardships undergone But it draws near, the time my friend The time to say au dieu How'ver deep inside we'll always be The Instructors of the Batch 21 Verse2: But it was not all pain There was fun and games And we used to call each other names There was the bus and cat And even a little rat The elephant and goat they soon were wed =P Pre-chorus 2: And the times we spent Sentosa, sun, sea and sand In Korea for 1 whole week Eat Kimchi till we sick Chorus: We've come so far together Each and every one The blood and tears, sweet memories The hardships undergone But it draws near, the time my friend, The time to say au dieu How'ver deep inside we'll always be The Instructors of the Batch 21 Pre-chorus 3: Soon all this will end And its time for the 22nd Even though we'll soon be gone Our friendship will live on Chorus: We've come so far together Each and every one The blood and tears, sweet memories The hardships undergone But it draws near, the time my friend, The time to say au dieu How'ver deep inside we'll always be The Instructors of the Batch 21 Deep inside we'll always be The Instructors of the Batch 21 Leaving behind a legacy as Instructors of the Batch 21 Lyrics- Desmond Tay Original Score- Zhang Lingpeng Hmm... well yup... this song is dedicated to my most wonderful batch... tml photo-taking le wo... still seems like yest when we just joined... hee... actually inspiration for this song came from my batch(duh?!) and LI's music... aand also God cause i prayed abt it... hahaz... and yea... juz everyday stuff that we, the 21st do... so yea... hope we stay together as friends tho we will soon be caught up in prelims and A's and stuff yea... and on a last note... no animals were hurt (maybe 2 particular ones exploited =p) during the making of this production... ciao peeps D3smond signing Off . Hmm... when i first thought of the title first term that poped into my mind was lactation... Too much bio i guess... but then again, i havent even touched bio yet... the Prelim's are sooo close and it seems that i can't keep up. Lagging in math, the endless, eternal torture, but i guess i'll to go head on, and hard... cheers to slacking for 1 yr ++... =(... anyway, studies with PCX, Kp, Ver and technically ck in Mos today... well... achieved 10 qns of math... 9 circled... "-_-... man... I'm really quite screwed... Okie... Now for the real meaning of my title... as my faith experiences a revival, there are many things that stand in my way from nurturing it. Lack of faith(look above), Self righteousness, pride(yes, i finally know what others were talking off all these yrs). Pride, viewing yourself as better then others, viewing others as scum... low-lifes, uncouth... but seriously, when you think of what the pastor said during FOP, the only thing that differentiates me from them is... God!... yes... think about it... without Him, i'll still be lost in God knows what, actually i still consider myself to be, but i hope finally, that i'm on the road to recovery... (only my closest friends know what i'm talking abt here, so if u dun, dun probe)... there are many things i still need to learn, to crave spiritual milk, to grow in Christ... hmm...to burden Him woth whatever burdens me... its really a tall order, but he'll provide... During the day, I also thougt of several things... on of the best things was instead of facing any situation with a knee-jerk response, we should take a step back, and ask... "What would Jesus do if He were me?"... and do likewise. I feel that this can help me to live my life as He wants me to... Also, during morning prayer meeting, there was this other group and on of the members was rattling on and on, it was seriously quite disturbing... i later found out from Mike that that was praying in tongues... It seriously freaked me out... no offence to those who do pray in tongues but if you approach a non-christian, i can betcha that it'll only frighten them away... ok.. i know i have a long way to go in my faith and what gives me the right to question such stuff?... Hmm... for one, i know that there is a verse in the Bible saying that whats the pt of praying in tongues when there is no one around to interprete it to others around? won't that just be senseless ramblings? And also, does the person that is praying in tongues really know what He/She is talking about? If not... whats the use of doing such stuff? Also, i've know ppl to set up classes to teach ppl how to speak in tongues...*smacks forehead*... maybe i should teach ppl how to prophesy as well!! It'll be lucrative... Of course not!! Tongues and prophesy are gifts from God... You can't teach a person how to do the above... it is when the Holy Spirit takes over that one can achieve such feats... but then again, my faith is as small as a mustard seed so i pray that in time to come, I'll grow to understand such complexities of my own faith... Ok... on to other stuff, a certain friend of my posted an article yesterday, talking abt the carnal instincts of men... hmm... i agree fully on her post, its really insightful perspective of some girls towards men... however, i must beg to differ on some pts in her post. Not all Men are lustful beast and men are not created with the sole urge juz to copulate with the opposite(and certainly not the same) sex. yea... juz thought that it wasnt fair for generalisation... hmm... and soaps are soaps my dear, reel life is seldom a true reflection of real life... hey, i check out girls all the time(and girls, i know yall swoon over cute guys too and dun u dare deny it!) but the first thought on my mind is not to hump them... God created each of us in His image and i believe that all His creations are beautiful, just and good... by looking at the opposite sex(which is also God's creation) aren'tu admiring His works? Of course i'm against up-skirts, that's bounding on lust already, but juz admiring? that's wrong too? hmm... life would be truely sad if guys and girls juz walk on by shunning one another because of this... and yes... its often true that bf usually force it upon their gf to get all intimate with them leading eventually to the funky-turkey, but, there are cases of the other way round as well, rare as they may be, they still exist... so i tink not all the blame should be shouldered my men alone but some of it given to da women( comeon, dun tell me the millions spent on make-up and slimming are just for looking at yourself in the mirror? Girls out there also want attention). So its boils down to a chicken and egg situation, temptation of men by girls or the "inherient" lust of men? But all in all, i grugingly agree with most of the post she put up, who can deny that we men aren't mostly horny at heart? ;) D3smond signing Off. . . . King Of kings... Lord Of Lords... oh how long have i neglected thee? I must have been even more blind then the blind not to see that all I needed was You, and You alone would be enough... and You alone will satisfy all my needs... I should have sought You first and put You at the top piority in everything that I do... Went to FOP with Daryl... got to know a few of his classmates... turns out that they are really nice ppl :)... FOP was real great... one the worshipping started... the vibes, the atmosphere, my own shame, sin... the tears just flowed... and now... i feel released... cleansed... purged from my sins and am reborn once more... real gr8 feeling... I shall start to become more and more like Jesus everyday and seek Him, to know more about Him to deepen my relationship with Him. Turns out a lot of VJ ppl also went... the stadium was like super packed. Odac farewell was lacklustre... but... cant blame them... had restrictions... yupz... thats about all... Shout to the Lord! D3smond signing off. . . . Heya... miss me??? hee... okie... not really i guess... wth... anyway... 'twas college day 2ade... Man... a complete crappy waste of time... ppl were like playing cards and games in da hall... under the "supervision" of the teachers... hell yes... shold have joined the majority of my class who so conveniently got lost on the way to college just becase it was getting dark... but then again... i wouldn't wanna risk incurring Seet's wrath... Speaking of which... i'm suprised that he did not catch ppl for playing cards in da hall... maybe under that "OOOOH College Day is the MOST impt day of my Life" and "Its Time to show the VICTORIAN SPIRIT" facade, he also feels like the majority of us... apathy... Okie... update on a few random thoughts... woke up to a grey sky morning(actually was to dark to see the colour of the sky but lets assume the colour for simplicity sake)... love rainy mornings... when i don't have to go to school that is... sigh... so i folded up my pants, wore my slippers and walked daintily(my soles were worn see) and nearly fell a few time on my way to the bus stop. Was waiting for the bus when this guys kicked a puddle of water, splashing it into my already soggy foot. Accident or not, a simple" I'm sry would help"... Sorta gave him da "dirty look" but he din catch it... later his bus came along and he did the most astounding thing... oke... maybe not astounding but certanly unexpected... he opened his umbrella, and sheltered those boarding the same bus... i immediately felt guity abt the earlier thought of soggy-fying(if i might) his shoes... Its really wierd how sometimes your perception of people can change in a flash... or mayb i'm just fickle?? Speaking of which... the new love of my life is treating me the same way as many of her predecessors... non-exsitent... yupz... sigh... oh well... but i guess Jame's Blunt's songs ties it all up nicely... "And I Don't know what to do, Cause i'll never be with you" Cya peeps D3smond Signing Off. . . .  Aphrodite/Eros ?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ?? brought to you by Quizilla And i;m these 2 also... of doing another quiz tt is http://www.paleothea.com/hephaestus.html http://www.paleothea.com/apollo.html . was a damn long time since i last blog and looks like its gathering cobwebs... heck i even forgot my username b4 signing in juz now... pwr sia... hahaz... okie... absent minded-ness aside... yep lots of things to update... Basically commontest is OVER... and by over i mean that in the literal aspect as well as I'm "Wan Le"... screwed up my math and i know econs is a gonner... not because i din know... but becuz of my stupid carelessness and smthing else... math le... major disappointment... haiz... a pathetic 44... i guess you reaping what you sow is not really applicable... cuz i put in damn alot of effort for math during da hols... dammit... maybe its juz not enough to breach da gap of 1 and a half yrs of slacking i guess... dammit.... Ok... enough of da depressing stuff... did alot of post test activities... went to watch Initial D on thurs... hahaz.. was quite a nice show... but Jay's acting was a bit sub-standard... sry to those Jay's fans out there... dun go crying for my blood yeah? hahaz... erm... den walked orchard rd for a while and jerome and ck pang seh-ed us... hahaz... went home and slacked... Went out with da Odacer da next day... K-boxing... was my first time... ahhaz... not bad... quite enjoyable... Saw Daryl there as well.. hahaz... however could have been more enjoyable if i din have a bad throat on that day... haahz... den... got to know alot of chinese songs also... I'm currently hooked on Jiang-Nan... by JJ... hahazz... damn nice... hope i'll be able to sing like him in da future... den after that... went to walk orchard rd AGAIn... dA next day was christine's birthday suprise... and could tell that she was indeed pleasently surprised... ahahz... glad u liked it gal... and Happy 18th... hmm den sent da photos on my phone to her... finally can change my friendster display pic... da guys followed da gals to walk Orchard YET AGAIN... for Kelv and I... its 3 days in a row... best... got bored and sat down at a cafe out side... yq, sharon and chris started a mad pic taking spree... ahaz... Sunday... went to swim... longest dist i ever swam in my life... hahaz... 60 laps... was tired after tt... limbs ached... still aching now...and i saw da TJ gals swim team training there... saw Verleen's friend also... but dun think she recognized me hahaz... den went to meet my parents at ps for War of The Worlds.... ending suxed... ahahz... as SH said.. hahaz... and this is the first time in 2 decades that my parents are watching a movie together... wow... tts a long long time... Next day... woke up early in da morning and rushed to Harbour Front... arrived at 830... waited and waited... in the end found out it was cancelled... KNN!!!!!! Cancel nvr even tell me... piangz... i was quite pissed off... went to eat prata while deleberating what to do, while i seethed inside... den decided to spend my time shopping for Mummy's present... went to town... sian diao... so early tt da shops havent even open yet lah... walked arnd aimlessly and den met up with sharon and yq... haha... went to eat lunch at kushinbo... not bad... but could have been better if not so rush... went to robinsons to get present... 130 bucks... piang... damn broke now... hahaz... den went to sentosa afterall... hahaz... had a gr8 time tanning and photo taking... thanx goes to sharon and yq... for keeping me company for da day tt is... became their photographer for da day... lol... and after tt... went for tution... den came home... Yups... tts abt it... time to let my blog rot again=) D3smond Signing Off. . . . Woa... its been a long time since i last wrote... looks like I'm at least sticking to one of my promises.. hee.. k.. nuff said... hmm... my life for da pst month or so... watch star wars already... (sry Harold)... but i expected more from da movie honestly, da fight scenes were too damn fast... not da graceful Jedi arts that i've come to appreciate... like look at episode 1, at least you could tell what was happening between Darth Maul, Obi-wan and Qui-gon... yea... tts wad i'm calling nice lightsaber battles... oh yea... my nick also inspired by star wars... something Yoda mentioned about young Anakin... that he was full of fear which will lead to anger then to hate, subsequently suffering and eventually the DARK SIDE... Bwahahahaz.. ok ignore me... Ok the reason that i used that title is because i'm kinda... i dunno... angry this few days... even my dreams are plagued by images of me doing something nasty to ppl around me... am i losing it??? Prophesy of some sort... not like none of my dreams have not materialised before... i don't even know whats caused me to be in this state... juz something bugging me but i can't seem to be able to put a finger on it... oh well... Okie for starters... let me declare.... I HATE FAGGOTS... yes sry for da degratory term... but yes i really can't stand it any longer... okie... let me explain... i was swimming on thurs at Bedok swimming complex... all was fine till this grp of 3 guys arrived... amongst them was one whom i'm positively sure was not exactly straight... okie signs of comfirmation... he was tall tin and girlie... his friend asked him to look at something in the pool... his ans was :" Kan Shen Mo? Yong Guo De condom r?" in that gay/sissy tone... I was like "okie... as long as he doesnt offend me, i'm alright with it"... then i got the feeling that somebody was observing me... when i glanced at him evey time i reached da end of the pool, he would give me this grin... when he eventually changed pool i was like phew... Thought that was all? ... NO... Hell no... after my swim(34 laps) lol... ok i'm digressing... ok... when i went to the men's room to shower... lo and behold... he was there... i acted as if nothing was happening when i stripped to shower... wtf man... he was staring lah... his face experession was like "ooooooo" (you know da kind of face tt you would give if u were making tt kind of expression)... i was this close to giving him da finger... but i was scared tt it would send out a wrong sinal... esp with faggots... yea... what makes me so great to comment abt other ppl's actions you might ask... okie... 1. It bloody hell sexual harassment if you ask me... 2. If gays have their right to express thier sexuality, why can't non-gays express their disgust with it? 3. Its against nature... name me an animal that copulates with its own gender... as i was saying i was this close to whacking him but i thought... hey... not worth soiling my hand on him... who knows what or whom he has touched... besides... it wun look good on my resume... a police record tt is... Speaking of which, my resume... oh man... have to type out tml le... its like long overdue... kudos to what chris said abt ee handling our resumes... lol... but oh well i dont speak/write(not to mention type) in the Queen's eng anyway so i wun bother to comment abt tt... besides... i think his spelling is better then mine =p... my spelling is atrocious(now did i get it rite?... lol...) Ok... other random stuff... da previous entry is abt what harry potter character i am and what sci-fi/ fantasy character i am... well judging by my mood now i ought to be Lucious Malfoy or a Sith Lord or smthing... oh well... guess i'm not inherently bad i guess... lol... Shaved bald on mon... spur of the moment... and her birthday is in 20 days time... oh no oh no... any idea on what to give a 19 yr old gal? (except a car tt is)... and i found out da name of my eye candy... whee.... and i still think zhao min is chio... saw another serial shes acting in today=p Yup... tt should be enouth for a long entry... yupz... till we meet again... ciao D3smond Signing Off . . . It Could Happen Again by Collin Raye Johnny Cash intro.... "One frozen night in 1914, at the height of WWI, the unthinkable happened. All along the entire western front, the British and German soldiers lay down they're weapons in an unofficial ceast fire to celebrate Christmas Eve together. They exchanged gifts and saw each other as brothers. And that piece lasted for two more days, when they were ordered back to battle. In those few days, though, men remembered the true meaning of christmas amongst the devastation, and it's a story that should never be forgotten..." Through the smoke-filled night Silence rolls from both sides Aross a bloody battlefield It was a cold Christmas Eve In 1914 For those who were there it seemed unreal As time was still the Spirit moved the soldiers To lay down they're arms Raise they're voice in song And pretend for awhile The war was over If it could happen then, It could happen again A world torn apart To join hands and hearts To celebrate His birth And peace on this Earth If for one magic night We could finally give a reason not to fight Maybe there's a chance .. This time it might last As opposing sides approached Through broken words they spoke It wasn't long before they felt at ease They shared they're cigarettes What they had they used as gifts They didn't feel like enemies. With candles lit, They stood shoulder to shoulder And on that field they found True common ground And as they prayed They dreamed the war was over If it could happen then, It could happen again A world torn apart To join hands and hearts To celebrate His birth And peace on this Earth If for one magic night We could finally give a reason not to fight Maybe there's a chance .. This time it might last If it could happen then, It could happen again... .  Which HP Kid Are You?
.  2dae was track and field... had to lug my RC full uniform to skool... so kao wei... lol... erm... put it in ODAC rm... den went for lessons in da day... in afternoon, went to room and wrote letter and taught some PI's how to play guitar... jia you... with prac... yall can do it... i started like tt as well :) den changed to full U... everybody was STARING lah... hahaz... so wierd... but oh well... guess da rest of da parade personale got da same responses as well... den one wierd thing happened in da hall... some ga approached me and said "U From Red Cross r?" I nodded.. she looked at my name tag den said" Oh so u are Desmond sir r.." den she walked away... hmm... odd... P-Cing was okie... poor Justin got blasted by Grandma Goh... sigh... but overall was not as nerve wrecking as i expected it to be... okie... now for da main reason why i blogged... THANK YOU JL, LC, SQ*meow!*, ZQ, and others who cheered me on:) thanx you guys... really appreciate it :) Then signed up last min for novelty race thingy... lol... came in last... but again... special mention goes to Meiying and Yanting cheering me on from da side line.. thanx gals... you made my day :)... Oh... da cheerleaders were okie... Draco and Phoenix were haaaoot!... lol K... went for Econs... on da way home on da MRT... say this auntie... yes auntie wearing those kind of netted clothes... see through... i mean if u were young and sexy, maybe slighly understandable... but old and flabby?!!! Some ppl juz have no dress sense... Changed Feeder bus home... these 2 aunties taliking... one of then sounded like a man... talked so loud den da manly one whipped out a phone and took a pic of the other one and went "Beautiful! So beautiful" in tt english sounding slang... omg... my eyes nearly rolled out of socket, bouced on my seat and out of da bus... sigh... feeling critical 2 nite... hu noes what others have been saying behind my back abt my actions as well... sigh... K... jts tml... gtg... D3smond Signing Off . The History behind the humble cake... Italy(or was it France) was at war and the populace had to go fight... the wives would make he husbands a cake made from leftover biscuits, cream and coffee so they could eat on the battlefield and remember them this way... Just watched a chinese romance movie... if u havent guessed it yet... its name was Tiramisu... waht a nice show... if only things in shows happen in real life... oh well... just daydreaming on my part... i guess i really am a hopeless romantic.. :p... yup... guess what really matters is whats in your heart... yup... have this bitter-sweet feeling within me right now... oh well... just some random rantings... D3smond signing off. . . . Hi all... hmm juz tot tt i update on whats been happening recently... hmm... lets see... last sat i had busking at Paya Lebar... hahaz... talk abt unappreciative... da crowd was like... hmm... walking straight pass us?! ... hmm... luckily got Kandy to keep cheering us on... thank you gal:)... den choir gals came... and so did da dancers... my... they sure did well... got to know a few more aquaintances... Hmm... thursday... medical checkup at cmpb... hahaz... met ck at redhill and took cab... went thru alot of stations to complete da entire thingy... got blood test, eyes check, uniform fitting... and medical screening... and oh... da doc din check my little bro... (sry for those hu are offended)... oh well... guess it slipped his mind... can't and dun wan to tink of any other reasons... had da com test thingy... screwed it up... F**K.... sigh... tts wads worrying... i really wanna become officer next time and i heard tt this is one impt determining factor... so... shit... I'm graded PES A... oh well... nothing significant tho... juz shows my body is in good working order.. went with ck to eat family feast after tt... song song... 2ppl eat 4 ppls share... later went home... napped and went for RC promo ceremony... hahaz... got to see alot of ppl dere... some new faces... some ppl i knew... oh well... gues i'll only really be involved after my A's... got "incentives" summore... hehe*grins* Got back PW results yest... Band 1... THANK YOU LORD!!!.... ahhaz... Joanne got her rightly deserved Band 1 as well... you go gal... u deserve it ... BIG TIME... ahahaz... Meiying also got ... not sure abt Eileen but i tink she did as well... went to you yi house today... wadda u noe... he know Jervis and Bryant... oh well.. .t'was good to see my seniors again... although Bryant had some trouble remembering me... "-_-.. played guitar and Devil May Cry 3... nice game... i tinking of finding DMC 1 to play on my ps... anyone have can lend??? hmm... tts abt all for this week... which i tink would be da most exciting for da mth already... so yea... ciaoz ppl and till we meet again! D3smond Signing Off. . . .
Take the Online Dating Personality Quiz at Dating Diversions . Yeps... tts exactly whats gona happen t this blog... mayb i'll update once in a month from now on... or when there's impt events or things i really feel stronglyabt... so no more hearings abt my daily life ppl... hahaz... but feel free to tag... old ppl and new ones alike... besides tt this blogger is retiring from blogging for a while to sort ut his life, piorities etc... and this blogs gonna rot for awhile... bt fret not... i'll return to frequent blogging once my work is done... lol... in like 7 mths? :p Last thing i'm gonna blog on... Semi Finals... hmm... well... i was disappointed with our performance... i tink most ppl could tell from the look on my face... there were seriously lots of other MUCH better performances and we looked like amatueres beside them... real depressing... yup... but thanks for all da well wishes and words of encouragement(tho deep inside i noe they were just courtesy)... yupz... for all those hu turned up... thanx for ur support... for those hu didn't... u juz missed a chance to catch me malu my self... math awaits... ciao all... D3smond Signing Off. . . Cya when i Cya . Hi all... OlC's over... boy was it an experience... oh wells... this is gonna be long so bear with me... and excuse any typos.. i got a sprained middle finger... or at least i tink its sprained... so dun aggevatate me enough to point it... u'll be aggevating my injury Day 1 Started off going to school super early to pack my bag... bt there were already ODAC-ers in the room le... hahaz... tot i would be the earliest.. later more andmore ppl started coming in... the excitement started building and everyone was geared up for the camp... We proceeded to Ubin with the trainees... dunno abt bus 1... but the Instructors in bus 2 led singing along the whole way... hahaz... i even risked my voice and shouted the OlC song to dem =p... then was land ex... spent most of my time in the hut... and OH! ... How could i forget? i got a new shifu... YY form 19th... damn nice guy and a Rafflesian too... hahaz.. tot me guitar and a song tt i wanted to learn for ages... "Now and Forever" by Richard Marx... super super nice song... must teach me more nxt time k? hahaz... erm... had 2 injuries... one was a minor cramp "-_-... (made me run like hell)... then shortly after was quite a serious case... dunno what happened to the trainee but helped her to the hut... SH and i tended to her... and i muz say tt i'm pretty much tempted to kill and squash and give a painful death to anything that has 6 legs, flies and has a probiscus... a swarm... and yes i do mean swarm of those bloodsuckers relentlessly attacked me in chicken feet hut bcuz my repellant was washed off by sweat le... wtf... after tt was night walk... hmm... was all okie till this mysterious guy ran through the bushes... hmm... CT chase but he seemed to dissappear into thin air... and worse of all... he came from my direction and i din notice anything... images of the gal Shaz saw stared to go through my mind... quite freaky... but luckily during the placing for solo night.. we found out that it was a real person... hmm... i dunno whether i belive in the supernatural... i do believe tt there is life after death but do we still or do some ppl still remain on the earthly plain after passing on? hmm... i dunno... well... even if there are, i would like to believe tt if we dun disturb dem.. they wun disturb us... and evne if they do... God will be with us to "lead us through the valley of the shadow of death" Day 2 Went back to mainland for Amazing race... had quite a bit oftime to ourselves so we went to skool to pack stuff and the n KP and i bathed... whoohoo... so shuang... and KM's hokkien auctioning was damn farny lah... so after that we went to load stuff at NSC courtesy of SE's father's company lorry...but we were almost late for our station... cuz the trainees were faster then expected...yupz...cabbed to reached there and if i'm not wrong... typhoon, hurricane and cyclone arrived at my station... hmm... made dem do my game and then headed off to find KP and Gen... SL was with me too hm... guess should applaud her for coming to camp :)... way to go!... went back to NSC after tt... or at least tried to... the Stupid Bus Service managed to produce anyother bus then the one we required... so we took a cab back to skool... wth man... took guitar and ball and proceeded to NSC via 36... cam down and met typhoon... they were... dying... so i took their bag and ran with den all da way 2 da finish... Go Typhoon! had NSC games... and then was sit test...den was da flag punishment... so yea... damn farny... SE had da time of ur life rite? lol... den da fx graph guy was also damn farny... like playing bball... dive into da sand... lol... Anyway good job for da Amazing race station masters... was quite successful overall... Go SW LP KI =P Day 3 Sea ex... aka (S.E.X) =p... hmm... well... lets juz say i have a watch strap engraved on my wrist and my tighhs are badly burnt now... oww... can feel tt its like... leathary? Basically... i'm a lobster... hmm... well it was okie... on the way were... we were moving with the current so we reached quite fast... but on the way back... we were practically crawling... seriously... i tink as the batches go by... the Trainees become more and more Nua... oh well... SIT test was HORRIBLE... my blood still boils when i tink of it... were the heck is UR SENSE OF URGENCY!!! basket... u think that it is a game? and da fake casualties after treating i reckon they be ocme real ones... nice putting the kyak onto HC yea... tt was damn smart of yall... went bak and EL and my kyak kept zig-zagging cuz da flotation in front was screwed up... and sea water kept stining my eyes... damn pain... and there was once i stopped to clean my eyes and the current caught my paddle and i whacked EL near her eyes... spy gal... real sry... thankfully wasnt her eye or i'll be in deep shit... went back to skool after cleaning up... then was cross... stationed at a mosquito infested area again... basket... really really HATE those critters... ran with the last few trainees back to school... damn... got to improve my stamina... but i guess it'll take time... treated a casualty who was sick... den basically zombied around cuz i was damn tired(due to me not sleeping and learning guitar =p)... Had OT briefing and den went to canteen to sleep... arnd 3 plus...i was awoken by CT... MR was Hyperventilating... piangs.. scared the shit out of me... imaging waking up to hear a wheezing person... crying and breathing loudly and struggling... guess tt pretty much woke the whole canteen up... luckily the Hocky boys were dere... thanks dudes... they gave her inhailer... and she got better... and i went back to sleep after tt... really an experience i muz say Day 4 Kota... da PRC's din bring their student pass... COME ON!!! Study sooo much and have no sense to even know this simple thing... wth... luckily we were early and went to eat breakfast first... then reached Kota... ate at the base and started the climb... took quite long an i had to carry a trainee's bag and my own for the last stretch... camp development was fun where we mutilated the firewood... had a whole huge pile... campfire was fun... sang songs as usual... but i must say tt da trainee's performance overall was... sad?...can T_T... den SQ and I were sabo-ed to do our music fest piece... but oh well... it was okie... slept outside da tentat first... later it got too cold so i had the whole tent to myself... song bo... Day 5 Downward climb as extremely slow... resulting in us not being able to have lunch at kota town... oh well... read the aforemention comment on trainee's fitness... hmm... came back to S'pore nad had washing up...Instructor's had a hard time deciding da ranking of grps... but oh well... guess everybody have our differences... later tt Typhoon emerged as da best grp! Go Typhoon u guys rock... hmm... hope alot of dem bcome Instructors... yupz tts abt it.. gtg now... Mum's after my head ciao... D3smond Signing Off. . . . Responsibility Remember...They love UNCONDITIONALLY..... When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh. You called me your child, and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend. Whenever I was "bad," you'd shake your finger at me and ask "How could you?" -- but then you'd relent and roll me over for a bellyrub. My housebreaking took a little longer than expected, because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that together. I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed and listening to your confidences and secret dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect. We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides,stops for ice cream (I only got the cone because "ice cream is bad for dogs" you said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the day. Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love. She, now your wife, is not a "dog person" -- still I welcomed her into our home, tried to show her? affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy. Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate. Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a "prisoner of love." As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears, and gave me kisses on my nose.loved everything about them and their touch -- because your touch was now so infrequent -- and I would've defended them with my life if need be. I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret dreams, and together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway. There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about me. These past few years, you just answered "yes" and changed the subject. I had gone from being "your dog" to "just a dog," and you resented every expenditure on my behalf. Now, you have a new career opportunity in another city, and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You've made the right decision for your "family," but there was a time when I was your only family. I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out the paperwork and said "I know you will find a good home for her." They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog, even one with "papers." You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar as he screamed "No, Daddy! Please don't let them take my dog!" And I worried for him, and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life. You gave me a good-bye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to take my collar and leash with you.You had a deadline to meet and now I have one, too.After you left, the two nice ladies said you probably knew about your upcoming move months ago and made no attempt to find me another good home. They shook their heads and asked "How could you?" They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed us,of course, but I lost my appetite days ago.At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you that you had changed your mind -- that this was all a bad dream... or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me. When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of happy puppies, oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited. I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day, and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room. A blissfully quiet room. She placed me on the table and rubbed my ears, and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of days. As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden which she bears weighs heavily on her, and I know that, the same way I knew your every mood. She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured "How could you?" Perhaps because she understood my dogspeak, she said "I'm so sorry." She hugged me, and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned, or have to fend for myself -- a place of love and light so very different from this earthly place. And with my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my "How could you?" was not directed at her. It was directed at you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of you. I will think of you and wait for you forever. May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty. A Note from the Author: If "How Could You?" brought tears to your eyes as you read it, as it did to mine as I wrote it, it is because it is the composite story of the millions of formerly "owned" pets who die each year in American & Canadian animal shelters. Anyone is welcome to distribute the essay for a non-commercial > purpose, as long as it is properly attributed with the copyright notice. Please use it to help educate, on your websites, in newsletters, on animal shelter and vet office bulletin boards. Tell the public that > the decision to add a pet to the family is an important one for life, that animals deserve our love and sensible care, that finding another appropriate home for your animal is your responsibility and any local humane society or animal welfare league can offer you good advice, and that all life is precious. Please do your part to stop the killing, > and encourage all spay & neuter campaigns in order to prevent unwanted animals. Please pass this on to everyone, not to hurt them or make them sad,but it could save maybe, even one unwanted pet. Remember...They love UNCONDITIONALLY, If you give them LOVE . Woa... today was a half day for VJ... sadly i got released at 10 due to my bio spa C & D of which i forgot 1 point for skill D... *smacks forehead*... shalll study harder next time... Hmm... went to PS after tt to watch Hitch... lots of ppl dere also... Hari, Debbie... and of course Berdine... coincidental... Hitch was okie... not a bad show... but nothing fantastic as well... Jerome... u go learn some tricks lah r? :p... After tt visited another bai ka... Jeremy Chia... seems like everybody's falling and spraining ankle or smthing recently... a trend mayb? Hmm sat... talked crap... attempeted to do GP which i miserably failed... then left those 2 alone and went to Macs to really do Gp and have dinner... Chem tution after tt and now back home... Seems like i havent explained my title yet... We got into SEMI FINALS OF MUSIC FEST!... whoohoo... Thank You Lord! :)...how cool is tt.. but then again... we're pitted against the best singers in VJ... so... hmm... wish us luck... U rock Daryl... and cheer up yea? At least this is worth rejoicing for rite? K... thats all... ciao D3smond Signing Off. . . . well... todays a day of records... hmm first time i went to Church late... First time i went back to Church in a long time... First time i disagreed with a sermon... First time I felt tt Church is not the place for me... First time i took a 1 and a half hour bus ride... and the First time i'm touching my skill C and D bio notes... You tell me my mood now... D3smond Signing Off. . . . Well... today was the release of the A's.. hahaz... went to the hall to check it out... nothing like da O's... remember i was damn freaked out for my own O's... but the yr 3s seemed almost nonchalant abt it... there was talking, laughing... mayb they juz trying to put on brave fronts in front of each other... though deep down inside tt gripping fear still existed somewhere... hmm but i know all too well.. b4 da actual results... say a yr 3 gal crying in the toilet... hey... dun look at me like tt... da frickin door was open... yea... anyway... they werent tears of joy but of saddness... i dunno... my heart juz goes out to dem... reminds me of my chinese O's like 2 yrs back... seeing everybody else arnd u get A1's while all u manage is a pathetic B3, the feeling of inferiority, jealosy and even hate forms a super nice blend for tears to fall... hmm.. oh well... got my A/O chinese results... B3... hmm... can't say tt i wasnt disappointed abt it... but hey... i have much to be thankful abt... i TOTALLY din touch it at all... so i guess a B3 was quite a miracle already... hmm... or mayb i'm juz immune to the effect of lousy grades? :P Hmm.. well ups and downs... some ppl were laughing b4 they got their results... but totally broke down thereafter... others were on the verge of nervous breakdown but heived a huge sigh of relive once they got their results... the ODAC seniors did fairly well... lots of ppl getting 3 or more A's... nice one... and oh... its a rather percular sight to see da gals returning with all sorts of dyed and fashioned hair while the guys... BOTAK!... hahaz... well most of them at least... :p Hmm... messaged her... wanted to call but no opportunity arosed... well, i'm happy for her... 2A, 1 B... tts bery good... hahz... well.. use it well k? go and further ur studies and have a gr8 life ahead :)... u have my blessings... looks like i made the right decision for her back den... Other i know arent tt fortunate... well Lord... comfort them and heal them... take away they pain and help them pick up the pieces... let them not lose hope and carry on... tt is my prayer for them... hope they really do... Well.. .tts abt it... expecting a full day off on mon... but got SPA =(... screwed up system... =(... D3smond signing off . . . .
. Woa... went to skool feeling extremely stoned today... piangz... havent felt so tired in such a loong time... and da Odac-ers who went Kota were all like tt across da board... lol... SE even slep for like 3 hrs? or was it more? lol... but Kota was fun... esp da rain when we came down... tt was song!... hmm ka seng now... but dun be mistaken... not ka cheng... ka seng em si ka cheng, ka cheng em si ka seng, ka seng mai kong ka ka cheng, ka cheng mai kong ka ka seng... lol... sry... lame... Hmm... was auditions today... went to skool not being able to breathe very well... lol... counldnt inhale fully... Come what may became a problem den... hmm... started to panice... but eventually sang with da music... hope i din crack :p... i was told we were off timing... hahaz.. oh wells... and oh oh... super farny on stage lah... kanna dao:(... hahaz... nvm... tt was abt it for my come what may auditions in PT Had auditions with Daryl in AVA... you rock dude... we did well... dun worry abt tt minor flaw... if its God's will we will still get in! :) hahaz... but seriously... tink i did better dere then in PT... mayb because i practised more? hmm... but the comments were generally ok lah... or ppl were juz being polite... :p... For those who turned up to support, a huge BIG THANK YOU!... hahaz.. really appreciate it :)... DA yr ones got ther results today... got mostly good news from dem... but for those who did not really do tt well... relax okie> its not da end of the world... pick urself up and carry on... tml's always brighter :)... yupz... tts all... gtg sleep... still super shacked D3smond Signing Off. . . .
. hello, once again after a long hiatus, i'm back... hahaz... u'd nvr guess where i am now... hahz... at SE's place... quite a nice and cosy place he has here:)... thanx fr putting us up... its like a major ODAC stay over lah... hahaz... erm... mayb there be booze later... but babes??? hmm... dun tink will have... lol... hahaz Had Ubin recce today... hmm... went to recce the solo walk route... hmm... not bad... roughly know the place le... oh well... stoned a lot... and stood like at each "planted" positon for like an eternity... hahaz... GH' joke... nvm... hmm... realised tt ODAC has come a long way indeed... from strangers to such good pals... heck now i can even be my relatively normal sick self even in fornt of the gals... hahaz... tghen again... what gals?... :P.. but sad to say... there are still some clicks in ODAC... oh well guess in every thing there'll sure to be situations like this... but why?... saddenning... Hmm... then went to eat at White sands... ate my usual jap food... can't get sick of it... and oh... my choker broke... damn sad lah... korea memories... and close to 3 mths of affection :(... da pendent is lost, leaving only the string? ... :( still damn sad... Hmm... da junior class had a busking activity at Ngee Ann City today... a pity i din go.. would have loved to but duty calls... hahaz... but heard from daf tt u guys were gr8... so yea... congrats... hope u enjoyed yourselves:) Hmm./... tml going Kota Recce... got to try to catch some sleep tonight... and da meeting time has been changed to 715?! #$@#$ haiz... oh well... some ppl sucks... gonna practise music fest with SQ later... yay... hope it turns out well... hahaz... got vocal remover... so have music now :)... yupz tts all tonight... gtg bye! D3smond Signing Off. . . .
Hahaz... looks like i'm still so immature :p . Hi all... today was a tiring day... slept through math lecture... hahaz... as usual... went to prac duet after skool with daryl... you rock man... nice voice... oh btw... credit goes to yq, sharon, christine, ver for coming down to help us... and yq... sry for making to wait and stone soooo long :s... For once, i sang till my lungs were sore and i actually felt tired... hmm... mayb was da lack of sleep lah... lol... erm... have settled for either O-Town's "All Or Nothing" or A1's "One More Try"... Oh Lord... help us decide soon... erm... and help us harmonise cuz to make the cut for the finals... we need to put up a spectacular performance... sigh... how?? well... leave it up to Him =)... gtg sleep le... recuperate my throat... tml another round of singing... ciao D3smond signing off. . . . To all those love birds out there, Happy Valentine's Day!... This day was actually named after a Saint... hmm... was originally meant for loved ones, not mainly lovers... Well... all i can say is that those who are in a relationship now, treasure wad you have. He/She loves you entirely, so much tt they want to spend every waking moment with you if possible. You're the first thing on their mind when they wake, and the last person they think abt b4 going off to bed... heck, for all you know they might be dreaming of you:)... Do not take each other for granted, for all you know, you might lose the love of your life just like that when he/she is alrd in the palm of your hands. Some wounds hurt, internal ones hurt more, re-opened internal wounds hurt the most... feels like 6th Dec all over again... D3smond signing off. . . "You sheltered me from harm Kept me warm, Kept me warm You gave your life to me Set me free, Set me free The finest years I'd ever knew Were all those years i had with you Chorus: And I will give everything i own Would give up my life, my heart, my home And i would give anything I own Just to have you once again You taught me how to love What's it of, What's it of You never said too much but still you showed the way And i knew, from watching you Nobody else would ever know The part of me that can't let go Chorus Bridge: Is there someone you know You're loving them so But taking them all for-granted Then you lose them one day Someone takes them away And they don't hear the word you want to say Chorus Just to touch you once again" -Bread .
. Woa... today was sure one hectic day... was X-cntry in the morning... stoned at da table as official... so the ppl came in one by one... den recorded their scores and divided to find the average... boring eh? Well... one interesting thing happened... this F****t from dunno wad batch appeared and did mass dance... man... all i can say is tt it was horrendous... his shirt was too small for him... his actions wer jerky and gay... but a word of fairness... he does noe how to gelek... BUT... while he was dancing there was a huge circle of ppl arnd him just staring... piangz and he seemed pretty oblivious of his surroundings... or mayb... he enjoys da attention... Okie... after tt discussed a bit of music fest stuff with Daryl... hope to pull tt song off man... well the Lord will provide... somehow... we need another person tt has a mid to low range vocal... yupz... anybody like to volunteer? went to sit with da junior class after tt... took some nice pics ... hai... gal r gal... how long are we gonna continue like this...? Erm went home and bathe/change and went to ver's house... sat a awhile and started playing mahjong... won once! hahaz... getting better at it! :p... the nwent jeremy's house, sat a while den headed off for Rachel's house... Met Daf and hw at mrt and den we waited for like an eternalty for a cab to arrive to go to the house... My my... it was humongous... well wad can i say... rich mah... hahaz... anyway Rachel if u r reading this... thanx for da great party... really enjoyed myself =)... oh din know tt she know how to play da guitar also... nice... electric summore... tot tt it was diff from normal but found out tt it was not so yea... played a bit... got to know a few ppl dere... well mostly by face but not by name... lets juz say i dun have affinity with names... Had dinner and da guys became waiters for da gals... bbut then again... i gues tts da only polite thing to do ya... hahaz... great big mcp in me talking... lol... hahaz... stayed and talked crap till like 9 plus... act. daf wanted tosend me out but den da her dad's car too small... so yea... took pam's car instead.. but thanx anyway my dear mortal =)... and of course to u pam.. Yupz... wad a nice and tiring day but reality bites... lots of hw to chiong tml... hope i got da strength and will to do... God will provide... P.S: btw... V-Day is coming soon... those hu havent done anything yet better do it quick! do let my efforts go to waste... and speaking of which... dunno wad im going to get also =p... erm... and my frickin' msn can't work!! =( D3smond signing off. . . . Gong Xi Fa Cai... Wan Shi Ru Yi... Xue Ye Jing Bu... Bu Bu Gao Shen... hmm da usual stuff tts been said over and over at every house each new yr... but except this new yr... i only got to say it thrice! This was da quickest "bai nian" ever!... it was done under 2 hrs... and needless to say my "collection" was worse then previous years... but not by much... afterall there are many things tt i shud be thankful abt... 1. The holidays, and tt means i can basically do pretty much wad ever i want 2. Good health both for family and friends 3. Family and friends =) (esp someone =) ) 4. New Yr Goodies to munch on 5. My sprained ankle (blessing in disguise cuz i dun have to worry bout X =P) Well... juz came back from visiting my paternal aunts condo... hmm... penthouse wo... well not tt close to my paternal relations... but they have 1 bery cute dog... too bad its blind... it knocked into the fan... poor thing... Well looks like i might not have such a free Valentine's day afterall... whee... D3smond signing off. . . . OMG... tts all i can say... why sia... weird appeal i guess... oh well... shall act bastardy next time so tt da person will change mind yupz... tts all... and oh... CNY's coming and i pre used my ang pow money le... but... worth it... ciao all... :) D3smond Signing off. . . . Oh dun get me wrong... today's jts was fantastic... love you gals... and 2 guys... lol... really got to know everyone slightly more...=)... hmm... Ryan Cabrera's "True" playing in the back ground now... hmm... I'm currently in a wierd mood now... a myriad of moods... i feed tired... depressed and sad... somehow... more towards tired and sad... aiyah... dunno why also... k.. shall talk more abt today Went skool did da usual stuff... chiong home after skool to get my bandage removed only to have another put on... sob... sunday gtg another round... piangz... he did some wierd tui na thing to my leg... felt numb after tt... then chionged home and bathed changed and rushed out again... Reached there quite late and bought gummies for Daf and Tee Yun(hope i spelt it correctly =p)... then pigged out with sushi... yum yum... getting fa tho... =(... erm.,.. then went over to talk with junior class ppl... all da retards keep giving all da thumbs up and stupid signs... u tink wad... soccer match r... and for crying out loud... she ATTATCHED!!! Then later went with few of them to esplanade sky garden... on da way dere leg started to hurt... hmm... and btw i din even know the place exsited sia... hahz... considering the fact tt i used to frequent tt place quite often... ya... quite blur i am... played truth or dare... WAY TO GO MARIE! pwr... soooo daring... Went for tution after tt bought a MOS shake and went home together with a friend... okie... this is where the "fun" starts... i was drinking my shake on the MRT... then this middle aged guy tapped me on the shoulder... "Hey do you see that sign there? No Drinking... you can be fined 500 dollars!" I put down my drink and turned away... rolled my eyes... my friend said something in chinese and tt guy said to his little son " I talked in English and they replied in Chinese, What kind of ethics is that?" then my friend got into a heated argument with tt guy... i just shut up at the side... Okie... i know i was breaking a "law" by drinking on the MRT... but first take a step back and ponder... why was tt law put into place int the first place? The officials at SMRT obviously did not want ppl to eat and drink and as a result dirty the MRT carridge... okie number 1 i wasnt dirty-ing the MRT by drinking from the straw... Number 2 if i stop drinking, condensation will eventually form and tt would drip onto the carridge floor and once ppl step on it... it'll be dirty... Number 3... there were only 2 mouthfuls left( I drank it up on another train tt i changed to=p)...so why couldn't i finish it so tt 2 would not happen and i would not cause the reason why the law was put into place in the first place... you might find me defensive and "lacking ehtics" by defending my uncivil act... well i admit it was uncivil cuz i din abide strictly by the law... but shouldnt Singaporeans think deeper and see the rational for laws being implemented instead of just following them blindly? And given tt situation so would you rather i drink it up and keep the MRT "clean for the comfort of all passengers" or i abide strictly by the law and end up dirtying the train instead? This is exactly whats lacking in the older generation... critical thinking, ability to adapt to changing situations... this is why the government is training us to think on our feet, diversifying our curriculum so that we can change with the times... and according to him" If the whole younger generation is like that Singapore is doomed"... Oh well i must say a bit of fairness for tt guy... mayb my friend was a bit disrespectful, and he was juz trying to be civic minded... however, i think wad i couldnt stand was tt he kept threatening me with the 500 dollar fine instead of stopping to actually think wad the rule is there for... sigh... all i can say is tt totally affected my mood... i went home feeling sad, tired and weary... depressed even... was so deep in thought that i realised i was approaching my stop only like seconds before... seldom feel like that... But i dun know... some how i feel tt tt incident was juz an amplifyer to my mood and there is still dome underlying reason as to why i'm feeling like tt but i just cant pin point what it is... i dunno... mayb sanity has taken leave of me again... sigh... i guess i'll end here.. have to search for myself... bye... D3smond signing off. . . . Hi all... back from b3b... yupz... its over... kinda miss it now tt its gone... but hey... OLC's coming up... so yea... tink i'm gonna get damn stressed out again... lol... erm... k,,, on to b2b Went dere early to book da campsite since RJ and HC were dere also... woke up super early and reached dere to meet SE at 630... hahaz... as usual he was late... basket... make me wait for soo long... haha.... no lah... next time be more punctual yea... :) K... reach island... bike shop not open yet... so walked to Noordin... palyed guitar... and den waited and waited and waited... finally da day started... even b4 reaching da camp site... some gal langa into a tree... head on summore... so i, juz requisited my bike from jetty, had to chiong alll da way dere... and best of all... my bike sucked... so i had to prety much kek all da way... she had minor concussion, so had to go back s'pore... Next i joined Lion at base camp and we went to our first check pt... quarry... even b4 they got down to playing da game... another call came in... rushed back to near Thai temple to treat a casualty who sprained her finger... in my haste.. i fell... but tts not da whole story, in my haste and da campers "buay zhi dong-ness" i fell... basket... see ppl coming through dunno how to siam wan leh... sigh... so have these horrible grazes on my hand now... owww.... hard to do alot of things... can't even remove my grps identity now lah... da shag bands... da rest of da day went pretty smoothly, with Lion catching up to 3rd place... :) proud of you guys Lion :)... Rox 4eva... den from jetty i walked back to camp site... near T-junction... buay tahan liaoz... i had 6 pac... wad do i mean? my thigh muscle started to cramp up real bad... each one splited into 3 balls... so put 2 legs together bcome 6 pac le... sigh... lame i noe... but tts wad i really am now.. (will explain later) K... then was survival cooking which i only came at da last part due to my cramp which left me immobile for an hour or so... k... den campfire... was okie lah... but too much skit... den a short sing along... muz say tt Meng Xiong was quite good... managed to raise da spirits of da camp quite well... "watermealon... watermealon... banana.." =p... mother farny... den 21st did their stuff... a bit bad lah... but presentable since got no rehearsals at all... Den it happend... da frickin' beach like 200m long... i had to step on 5cm of wood protruding from da ground... F**K lah... super suay... JL treated me... den i rested in da hit for night games... Solo walk i manage to drag myself out... haahz... hid quite well with my black longs and trek pants... thanks to Mummy i din get any bites... Lavander oil rox... lol... K... slept on da grnd sheet... woke up in da morning... ankle was hurting like crazy... sigh... thankfully i was station master.. so yea... sat at Siglap... and hid and stuff... i muz say tt some grps really have no manners AT ALL... basket... if this were OLC... they long ago goner liaoz... shall not name names... but Instructors shud noe rite?... lol... EL... relaxing.. :p K den juz went to see doc... gave me cream and painkillers for me leg... 1 week no physical exercise... sigh... so i cant train fr X-cnty... sigh... oh well... hmmm on the whole i felt Lion performed wwell as a grp... they were mostly bonded, and came out pretty well in da end... Lions roar!!! hahaz... nut still... WE WANT OUR JTS!!!... lol K lah... hsall go off now... tired like crazy... and hurt like hell... D3smond Signing Off. . . "One! We are the Lions, Two! I still Can't hear you Three! A little Louder Four more more more One! We are the Lions, Two! I still Can't hear you Three! A little louder Lets Go Lions GO!" - B2B '05 Lions . Hiya all... wow... nothing much to say for once... hahaz... but got this super nice song playing now... hahaz... using my bro's com lah... actually... he's da one tt got me interested in singing... hahaz... it was like erm... more den a decade ago? remember we used to talk even after lights out... then one day he taught me how to sing 25 mins.... yupz tts how it started... and since then there hasnt been a day whiched i stopped singing.... lol... sry ppl all arnd me if i'm quite irritating at times... but... tts ME!!! lol... Wad song am i listening to? Acappella version of Tension's Wo Men De Gu Shi... chao hao ting i tell you... lol... their voices blend like smooth vanilla milkshake... really lo... and oh oh... music fest is coming up soon... hmm... dunno whether to join after last yrs rejection... but oh well... i guess you miss 100 percent of the shots you dun take yea.. hahahz... quote by our dearest apcx... lol... yupz... hmm but i really tempted to do a grp song... or duet for tt matter ... but i need to find ppl first... Daryl's one candidate le... but i still need ppl to teach me how to harmonise... can anybody do tt? pretty pls? with a bit of sugar and icing? lol... hahaz... and da grp song tt i wanna do is... this song1!!! ... lol Yupz... tts all for now... need to pia GP and SP letter... lol... k... take carez... God Bless! :) D3smond Signing off. . . Amazing grace how sweet the sound... that saved a wretch like me... i once was lost but now am found, was blind but now i see... I've just watched da Passion Of The Christ... its a real good show... i seriously havent cried during any movie b4, only teared up a bit... but this one... i cried... He endured all that, all that pain, brutality, humiliation, suffering juz that wretches like us can be saved... and look at us... bunch of ungrateful insolent fools, everytime we continue sinning, we subject Him to the same thing over and over again. So how does tt make us better then the Pharisees that incited his crucification in the first place? It really set me thinking, i cried not bcause i pitied da way they mistreated Him and abused Him. I cried because it was i who put Him there at Calvary in the first place... and on top of that, He did not blame me at all, but still prayed for me. "Forgive them Father, for they know not what they are doing" And on top of tt, i still continued to sin... i can't help but feel that every punch, every lashing was dished out by me. So i'm going to change... i muz change, not for myself, but also for all those arnd me, and for Him, who hath loved me so unconditionally... Lord, change my life and do with it what ever pleases your will. Amen. D3smond Signing off. . . Oh, it's not hard to know what You're thinking When you look down on me now Your trance of love is seeking To turn this world around But in my state of blind confusion No god can pull me out I see Your love is willing To turn me inside out And then I see You there The lonely tears I cry I wish they'd release me It's in despair that I find faith Summons the night to bow down to day When ignorance is bliss Won't You save me from myself And then I see You there With Your arms open wide and you try to embrace me These lonely tears I cry They keep me in chains and I wish they'd release me Cold is the night but Colder still is the the heart made of stone turned from clay And if you follow me You'll see all the black, all the white, fade to grey Fade to grey, yeah Fade to grey, yeah And then I see You there With Your arms open wide and You try to embrace me These lonely tears I cry They keep me in chains and I wish they'd release me Cold is the night but Colder still is the heart made of stone turned from clay And if you follow me You'll see all the black, all the white, fade to grey And then I see You there With Your arms open wide and You try to embrace me These lonely tears I cry They keep me in chains and I wish they'd release me Cold is the night but Colder still is the heart made of stone turned from clay And if you follow me You'll see all the black, all the white, fade to grey . Hmm... well juz went blog hopping... hmm... to all those out there who are troubled and down... all i can say is put ur problems in the hands of God... He will provide... Oh wells... had a super boring day 2dae... no matter how front i sat during da lectures and how vailently i fought the sleep bug... i still lost da battle... was dozing off by end of chem le... sigh... why cant i juz keep awake? mayb i shud sleep earlier... After tt went bedok to swim with doug... did 30 laps.. he did 50... pwr sia he... sigh... mayb i'm juz physically weaker lah... in all sports stuff i nvr win so far... i guess God is fair in tt sense =)... hmm... welll nothing really much left to say... feeling rather ok now... abit tired tho... yupz... take carez all out there who are troubled... He will provide... =) D3smond Signing off. . . . Wow... rare occation today... manage to talk to ppl tt i really wanna talk to... hmm... thank you God... got some really good advise frm a person... thank you so so much... well... mayb i can heed it? oh well... tts all tt i wanna say rite now... thank you so so much and of course You too God =) Nitez... and oh... feeling at da top of da world rite now... D3smond signing off. . . . Hmm... t'was a long time since i last blogged... but oh well... nothing interesting has happened since then... hmm... had OG BBQ today... rushed to make da pressies last nite... piangz... in da end so little from my flick turned up... sigh... make me stay up till 2+ for nothing... =(... The BBQ was rather ok... except tt there was like 100+ ppl to one pit which was quite dumb... how to sia... then i took food and gave to my flick ppl... lost dem for awhile den eventually found dem at one of da break waters... sigh... i guess my courage is failing me le... dun dare talk... blew it man... blew it... Oh wadeva... senseless ravings of a sleep deprived mind... ignore me ppl... well gtg sleep liaoz... ODAC recce in less den 12 hrs time... cya peepes... . Woa... its over... Orientation 1 is over... and so is my turnure as an OGL... supposed to update everyday but sry lah... once reach home... hit da sack liaoz... :p hmm... cant really remember da exact details of da past few days... but i'll juz put down da highlights... Okie... day 3 we had nothing much on... except da poor year 1's had to sit through soo many hours of talks... poor thing... stayed back to teach them La Bum Ba... Day 4... role play day... borrowed da cape from Trojan... hahaz... acted darn dumb lah... armpit hair so long... and da "sex scene" hahaz... darn farny... ET was super farny as well... his voice over rocks... lol... Practically wanted to sleep during Volscar night lah... was sooooo boring... but after tt was mass dance... and everybody went high... Ding Wen said they did Unite... basket... nvr call me along... hahaz... once a Rafflesian... always a Rafflesian... lol... ate at Swensons for OGL dinner... saw my flick ppl sneaking arnd... hahaz... din noe wad they were up to then... but now i know... thank you soo much for da pressie... and thank you berdine for da note... was real sweet of ya... =) Stayed over for da night... SE keep asking ppl not to sleep.. hahaz... went to roof... nice... then went back to room and slept even with DC they all making so much noise... woke up... carried spas and went ecp... Water was frickin' cold sia... we used da monkey ramp to whack da spas into da ground... had to remove one time cause da water receded... stupid tide... but anyway... left for awhile for photo taking... was freezing i tell you... summore da sky so cloudy... no sun one... den da ppl came to our station... hahaz... me and DC did a super drama demo... lol... darn farny... OGLs rock!!! hahaz... then da sun finally came up... whoo hoo... did mass dance and cleared da stuff... and after tt went back to skool for OG lunch... hahaz... after tt went to sky garden and played truth or dare... did some farny stuff... went to fountain to do dance and then went home Erm... woke up early for talentime today... piangz... boy was i in for it... for da first few hours... i did da judging solo... hmm... mostly cmi lah... but some were really jewels... and i rightly told them so... then shelly ma'am came... then not so bad... got some1 to crap with... but at the end... was so tired out tt i din feel like judging le... piangz... now i know how da SI judges felt... went out with Dior and Mar after tt for dinner... and talked crap and found out abt some interesting stuff... hahaz... yupz... Tts all for now... ciao... D3smond signing off. . . . Wow... today was day 2 of orientation... cool... hahaz... in much betta spirits 2 day then yest... tho my throat hurts like crazy... hmm... honey lemon drink by my side... hmm... soothing... but gonna take quite a while to return to my normal vocal potential... hahaz... damn bad lah... gtg learn da correct mehod of singing... soon... hahaz.... k now for orientation... Hmm... today.. a lot of improvements!!!... hahaz... food was settled... cept a bit short lah... den communications was much better... i took care of da shoe bags properly... lol... got to talk more with da ppl... hahaz... good good... but... still dunno their names sia... lol... sry lah... wad can i say... i'm damn bad at names.. lol... okie... did super lotsa mass dances 2 dae... shack diao... even got cramps at da end of da day... hahaz... not menstrual in origin tho... lol... Elected da SAA today... hmm gtg rem their names... but i tink they noe my name lah... lol... damn pai seh leh... sia... need mem boosters... lol... and oh.. .election process was super hilarious... lol... and ET... u big fat frickin' chee ko pei... tts it lah... damn retarded as well... Had OGL dinner juz now... lol... super funny lah... talk all da stuff... den some1's eye candy walked in... super fun suanning dem lah... lol... and surprisingly he even heard of ODAC!!! lol... din noe my news spreaded tt fast... hahaz... he even knew me sia... wow... impressed... talking abt eye candys... my flick also got one... hahaz... ke kan, bu ke dong lah... lol... Okie... tml... long day... shall end here now... nice one OGLS!!!... and ORION FOREVER!!!! D3smond signing off. . . . Hi all... today was day 1 of skool... also day 1 of Orientation... we, Cindi, Christine and I are the OGLs of Osiris *applause*... hmm.... well... evaluation time now... how i would rank my performance today... hmm... 1/10? Basically, i screwed up... sigh... okie... screwy 1, din secure da bags properly, resulting in some bags missing... screwy 2, din watch my bags... resulting in dem not getting their bags on time... screwy 3, almost lost our valuable bag... luckily SC found it or else i'd been F**ked... damn sad... den is like i couldn't help Cindi at all lah... like she do all da work... sigh... den I like can't even rem da ppls names... piangz... shi bai... Okie... Flick evaluation... got some enthus ones... and lotsa quiet ones... tink we inherited da most stone grp in Orion... hmm... but i pray tt they will open up tml... hahaz... den it'll be fun... come on guys... if you want this to be fun for yourselves... participate... Lastly, flim evaluation... 2 words... damn zai... i tink we have a blend of quiet and enthu ppl... but i tink da enthu ppl more then covers up for those at the other extreme end... hmm... met quite alot of ppl 2 dae... even taught mass dance to ppl whom i dunno, i.e nt in my flick... Well... things to be improved... Food... but i tink tts settled... communications btw ogls... erm... and da dedication of jobs... sigh... which i so absolutely positively mixed p all our roles 2dae and thus screwing it up... oh man... depressing... Hmm... well i guess tts it for day 1... hope da following days would be better... and tt i'll be able to lead once more.... cya... and oh... i'll definitely wear skool uni to skool tml!!! D3smond signing off. . . . Hi all... first of all... HAPPY 2005!!!! May this year be a great one for everyone be it ppl going to da army or ppl going for A's or O's or overseas... Hahaz... okie... time to write abt wad i did for nye... hmm... i woke up late, ate breakfast(or brunch if u wanna call it tt), watched minority report and went out to meet Harold. Ended up late... hahaz... but oh well... he showed me around da new RJ campus... frickin' big... da LT1 is like our performace theatre... and they have this huge building tt is da library and da staff room... kinda looks like da Singapore post building at Paya Lebar Mrt... the hall is another building all by itself... but it kinda sucks lah... lol... sry... hmm... the parade square is on top of da canteen and they have lots of open space with nothing on it at da moment... and best of all... they dunno wad to do with it... Okie... later went to J8 to pick up Xm's pressie... hmm... was a porcelin container and sweets... hahaz... was starving also and went to eat LJS... den went to clementi mrt... waited for DC and his gf... hahaz... luckily i did somethings to entertain me self... lets see... i played with this stray cat... it was like mewing its head off lah... so i bought it milk and fed it... nothing deserves to go hungry and suffer... esp not on new year's eve... summore it was soo cold... then after tt... got used to me new phone... hahz... den waited for awhile more den they came... took a bus to Xm's house and then got lost along da way... had to walk in da rain... and i tink i need a new pair of shoes... mine's leaking... =( Arrived... saw quite a few familiar faces... Jiang Shui... Hassan, Squid, Melwyn, Kelly(sry for da chin gal... really... but u still look good lah =p), Russel, Melissa and a few others from da Korea trip... at first stood outside and juz ate till mel asked us to go socialise... hahaz... and she delivers quite a strong whack i muz say... :p... hmm... den played Piggy... haahz... DC's new game... lol... den was Rafflesians VS SJI ppl... hahaz... darn farny... Den SE arrived... with his gf of course... haahz... den sat and talked... den mel offered me a drink which smell and tasted like smthing you would use to paint ur house with... drank it anyway... den came da teq shots... started with 2... den was a bit high already so i abstained for awhile... den DC and SE left... tts was when da alcohol started to really get to me brain... felt slightly woozey.... den Xm's asked me to test my limits... hahaz... went along with it... took another shot... after tt was like cool... hahaz... da feeling... indescribable... had some card game... lost... but jiang shui offered to take da shot for me... cuz i was like crap already... thanx... but after tt... i went and took 2 more shots... so tt was 5 in all. Drank beer also... Hmm... felt really high after tt... Hassan had to accompany me to walk it off... and i went bare feet... had to focus like mad to walk straight... and according to Hassan... i was blabbering non stop and laughing my head off...hmm... okie... had some tea when i came back... and felt betta... then Xm, Merv, Jun Ren aka lollita, Becky and the other Indian guy... forgot his name... talked till 6+ and i fell asleep apparently and snored... ahhas... and apparently Lol and Merv "played" with me... wad sia... Woke up at 7 plus and then went home by cab... yup... slept till like 8 pm and went out for dinner with me fam... hahaz... nice nice... Yupz... tts all for now... cya ppl D3smond signing off . . . . Woa... today was bike hike recce... and how do you pronounce tt Serene? =p... hmm... ya... was recce today... started off with ppl not really arriving on time... lol... as usual... then was a light drizzle... den rented da bikes at a cheap price of 3 bucks... just as we were about to set off... mother nature released her load and da heavens opened... so we sought shelter... Edgar said da magic phrase.. "Talk cock"... and off i went =)... lol... happened many times during da day After the rain let up... we started going to check points... First check pt was OBS... HP... quite bad... abrasions all over... washed her wounds...tts all i could do without a first aid kit... so she went back to main land... Next check point, quarry, nothing much happened... but as we left tt place, HC had quite a bad fall... sprained his wrist... did improvised ele sling on him... hmm... quite shabby lah, but thankfully it held... and the bloody damn ironic part is tt my first aid cert just expired yesterday... lol... guess my RC training was no for fun and this was the first time i had to treat so many REAL causalties instead of practicing carrying fake ones who have their injuries drawn on... Oh well... thankfully no serious bleeding wad so eva tt couldn't stop or wad... hey ppl... as Instructors in order to take care of others, you must first learn how to take care of yourselves... if you go down, how is the group gonna carry on... I know the appeal and thrill of speed, but hey... juz be carful k?... yupz... and oh... learn up your F/A skills ya... JL and I can't be at everywhere all the time should anything happen... yupz... Cycled till I'm cramming now... tts it lah... pain sia... juz tong up the hill all da way... piangz... thighs dying now... but afet SE told me to change gear den was much easier le... or else wouldn't have made it back alive... yupz... tts abt it for 2day... ciao D3smond signing off. . . . Hi all... back from my overnight in OGL camp... hahaz... was super super fun... lol... had in total abt 2 hrs sleep only... but surprisingly not zombifiedin da morning... ahhaz... muz be da milk tea... hmm... but it took effect in da afternoon K... shall now talk abt wad we did... haaz... firstly, yest after orientation, went to eat dinner at pp after waiting like eternalty for da ppl to make up their mind... at at food court... ate mee swa and shared tang yuan with Cindi... ahahz... both of us played with the minds of Daryl and Bao Wei... hahaz... lol... den went back skool, climbed over gate, and went to class... played guitar, cards, jenga and truth or dare... lol... did some quite stupid dares... went to sleep halfway... den after that woke up when Serene was "playing" her Pinky thingy... lol... hahaz... got to know my fellow ogls betta... and oh... Daryl sings very well also... den Zeya and I went to make instant noodles for them at arnd 3? ... ahahz Woke up in da morning, went to da briefing and slept... lol... missed quite alot of stuff... muz copy from Kelv... hahaz... den went for da usual stuff... in da afternoon was role play... piangz... damn sian lah... first time twice in a day i sian diao for a long long time... tts it... hmm... and our role plays all got sex theme in them one lah... best... Went for dinner... Kenneth is mother funny... lol... and Edgar met his match for bad pronounciation, Serene... ahahz... my OG is damn fun lah... Kenneth's rhyme is also damn funny... hahaz... shall go perfect it... Kelv... muz keep straight face r... ahaz... luff till i felt like i got 6 pac... lol... long time nvr got tt sensation... hahaz... but its a nice feeling lah... hor Christine?... lol Sigh... Hmwk piling up... now i noe wads dat nagging feeling like... sigh... oh | |||||||||||
